# Ten things not to ask a naked man. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 2, 2008, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874 "2008-03-02T19:42:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/1 "2008-03-02T19:42:35Z")
I just thought I’d give the ladies a shot at this. ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/2 "2008-03-02T19:43:07Z")
Are you in me yet? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/3 "2008-03-02T19:54:02Z")
Did you know you brother, uncle _and_ father are bigger than you? ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/4 "2008-03-02T19:55:34Z")
Is that it? ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/5 "2008-03-02T19:55:50Z")
You cold? ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/6 "2008-03-02T20:06:01Z")
Would you put this on? Put your feet in the stirrups, and bear down. Did you come? What was your name again? ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/7 "2008-03-02T20:28:20Z")
That’s so CUTE! How long have you been growing it? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/8 "2008-03-02T20:28:41Z")
What is that, an acorn sitting on top of a beanbag? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/9 "2008-03-02T20:30:34Z")
[My breasts are smaller than yours!](http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/Pre-seasonlampard.jpg) [Why… it’s … it’s a _baby_ penis!](http://critiquesdemusic.canalblog.com/images/Nirvana_Nevermind_Front.jpg) [I don’t care if being “smooth” is all the rage! I’ve not shaving you down!](http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j235/dirtydirty1/hairy_man_copy.jpg) [Well… that’s quite a tattoo.](http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m139/adpoopoopants/Cat_Tattoo.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/10 "2008-03-02T20:38:43Z")
Where’s the beef? I’m looking for a man. Have you seen one? Why don’t you take that sweater off? That’s not a sweater? It’s …_body hair_? ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/11 "2008-03-02T21:16:07Z")
[QUOTE=astro] [My breasts are smaller than yours!](http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/Pre-seasonlampard.jpg) [Why… it’s … it’s a _baby_ penis!](http://critiquesdemusic.canalblog.com/images/Nirvana_Nevermind_Front.jpg) [I don’t care if being “smooth” is all the rage! I’ve not shaving you down!](http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j235/dirtydirty1/hairy_man_copy.jpg) [Well… that’s quite a tattoo.](http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m139/adpoopoopants/Cat_Tattoo.jpg) [/QUOTE] I **had** to click them! :smack: I just **had** to click them! :smack: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/12 "2008-03-02T21:40:11Z")
Who are you, and why are you in my shower? ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/13 "2008-03-02T23:18:20Z")
Enjoy your swim? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2008, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/14 "2008-03-02T23:31:15Z")
Is that real? ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2008, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/15 "2008-03-03T00:02:36Z")
an elephant would say, “It sure is cute, but can you breathe through it?” ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2008, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/16 "2008-03-03T01:06:50Z")
[QUOTE=longhair75] an elephant would say, “It sure is cute, but can you breathe through it?” [/QUOTE] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2008, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/17 "2008-03-03T01:35:31Z")
Evening, miss. ---
**Author:** ![squeekster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/779978/32.png) [@squeekster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeekster)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2008, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/18 "2008-03-03T02:09:34Z")
Well, it may not be very big around, but at least it’s short. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2008, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/19 "2008-03-03T02:13:40Z")
Squee! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2008, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874/20 "2008-03-03T02:49:24Z")
Time for a brief NSFW men’s pride musical interlude: [_A Heap of Trouble_ by Steve Sullivan](http://www.stevesullivan.co.uk/heapmov.html). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ten-things-not-to-ask-a-naked-man/439874.md?page=2)