# Tendency of pretty girls & women to congregate socially with other pretty girls **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 29, 2015, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249 "2015-08-29T03:17:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Fiveroptic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiveroptic/32/8257_2.png) [@Fiveroptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveroptic)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/41 "2015-08-29T21:48:27Z")
Don’t forget pillow fights. We love to have pillow fights with each other before making sweet, sweet love while wearing high heels. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/42 "2015-08-29T21:52:48Z")
> [@Fiveroptic](#): > > Don’t forget pillow fights. We love to have pillow fights with each other before making sweet, sweet love while wearing high heels. While we’re breastfeeding. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/43 "2015-08-29T22:02:57Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > The weird thing is that I don’t see where anyone in this thread has said they find it difficult to relate to women or that they have virtually no experience in romantic relationships, so you’re making a big and likely fallacious assumption off the bat. You must be new here. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/44 "2015-08-29T22:08:03Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > Your reading comprehension skills suck. > I never said women don’t compare themselves to each other. I said I don’t rate women on a scale AND I don’t consider a woman’s attractiveness as a factor in wether I hang out with her or not. I don’t think most women do either. You don’t need to restate (and completely rephrase) what you said, because it’s still right there available for all to see: > [@April\_R](#): > > I don’t judge my friend’s attractiveness on a scale, \*\*nor do I put any’thought in to how attractive I look in comparison. \*\* > > There are actually women who do this?:dubious: (My emphasis) So you don’t put any thought into how attractive you are compared to your friends, and you are completely bewildered by the idea that there could be any women who do. But because you “never said women don’t compare themselves to each other”, you presumably accept that they do, and therefore should not be so befuddled by the notion, as you expressed. Reading comprehension, sweetheart. Or were you _actually_ just trying to assert some kind of moral superiority by _pretending_ to be unaware that other women regularly compare themselves to each other in attractiveness, because it doesn’t so much as touch your own experience, free from such petty judgment? Nah, couldn’t be _that_. Note that I didn’t say anything about it being a factor in choosing friends or not, I’m just talking about women’s predilection for judging each other’s attractiveness as well as comparing themselves to other women, whether or not it involves a specific numerical scale (that’s a bit of a nitpick). ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/45 "2015-08-29T22:10:02Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > You must be new here. Ah, so you just accept that premise as a given regarding male posters in any thread here (that they find it difficult to relate to women and/or that they have virtually no experience in romantic relationships)? Quite offensive. (Edited for clarification) ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/46 "2015-08-29T22:30:48Z")
> [@Fiveroptic](#): > > Don’t forget pillow fights. We love to have pillow fights with each other before making sweet, sweet love while wearing high heels. Will this be on the test? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/47 "2015-08-29T22:46:17Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Wow, you really haven’t met many women. I don’t do that, either. If I want to hang out with someone, I hang out with them. As for assigning someone a numerical value and seeing if I stack up…seems a bit juvenile. And pretty subjective, too, no? How do you really judge an eight vs. a 10? ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/48 "2015-08-29T22:56:28Z")
I think it’s Baader Meinhof phenomenon aka frequency illusion. Add me to the list of women who don’t pick friends based on physical attractiveness. ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/49 "2015-08-29T23:51:56Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > I have this weird theory that women are actually people, and do people stuff like hanging out with people because they have stuff in common and get on well. Out there, I know, but I’m sticking with it. I agree, Penfeather. It is so very “out there” to assume that women spend time with friends because they are friends and have things in common, regardless of whether said friends are “hot” or not. I note, too, that it’s inconceivable that women would think EVER think about anything other than attracting a man. Obviously all the conversations I’ve had with my women friends about their careers, schooling, health, hobbies and vacations have all actually been in a special code used for secretly discussing the only thing we could possibly care about: how to get a man’s attention. Guys, get over yourselves. It is not all about you. In fact, if you knew how little it was about you, you’d probably want to hang yourselves. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/50 "2015-08-30T00:53:07Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > You don’t need to restate (and completely rephrase) what you said, because it’s still right there available for all to see: > > (My emphasis) > > So you don’t put any thought into how attractive you are compared to your friends, and you are completely bewildered by the idea that there could be any women who do. But because you “never said women don’t compare themselves to each other”, you presumably accept that they do, and therefore should not be so befuddled by the notion, as you expressed. Reading comprehension, sweetheart. Or were you _actually_ just trying to assert some kind of moral superiority by _pretending_ to be unaware that other women regularly compare themselves to each other in attractiveness, because it doesn’t so much as touch your own experience, free from such petty judgment? Nah, couldn’t be _that_. > > Note that I didn’t say anything about it being a factor in choosing friends or not, I’m just talking about women’s predilection for judging each other’s attractiveness as well as comparing themselves to other women, whether or not it involves a specific numerical scale (that’s a bit of a nitpick). Stop being dense. This whole thread was founded in the premise that hot chicks only hang out with hot chicks because we recognize the relative hotness of our friends. That isn’t true for the majority of women. Point blank. Yes, we may say she has great skin or big boobs or great hair, but that doesn’t determine if we hang with them or not. That stuff only happens with the shallowest of friendships. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/51 "2015-08-30T05:32:45Z")
Back to my “birds of a feather”. Lets say a bunch of women met each other thru a gym so they might all do yoga or aerobics together or maybe play tennis together. Naturally they will all be pretty skinny and will probably be more apt to want to show off some skin. I mean, if you worked hard to get good abs and legs, why NOT show them off. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/52 "2015-08-30T12:07:43Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > Your reading comprehension skills suck. > I never said women don’t compare themselves to each other. I said I don’t rate women on a scale AND I don’t consider a woman’s attractiveness as a factor in wether I hang out with her or not. I don’t think most women do either. But, could it happen even if you dont mean to? For example, lets say you are really into exercise and you make most of your friends when working out at a gym. You might then tend to have about the same body types. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/53 "2015-08-30T12:40:27Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Every pretty girl has a fat friend (or two or three). It’s pretty much a given. Fat girls can’t be pretty? I can’t agree there. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/54 "2015-08-30T14:01:39Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I don’t judge my friend’s attractiveness on a scale, nor do I put any’thought in to how attractive I look in comparison. > > There are actually women who do this?:dubious: There are lots of people in this world. Surely some act that way? But something that’s ever occurred to me, though. That didn’t mean I’m unaware of roughly how attractive other women are. (Although I sometimes ask my husband when it matters, since I’m not a very good judge of that). It just means that how pretty another woman is is not really on my list of “why I want to hang out with her.” I think there’s probably a lot of truth in the “birds of a feather” hypothesis, though. And women who like to preen and look their best probably have a lot in common with other women who are into that. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/55 "2015-08-30T14:24:38Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > The average emotional intelligence on this board is simply staggering. I’m going to just leave it at that. But start a thread called “What’s your IQ?” and the average response is somewhere between Stephen Hawking and Brainiac. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/56 "2015-08-30T15:27:28Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > But, could it happen even if you dont mean to? > > For example, lets say you are really into exercise and you make most of your friends when working out at a gym. You might then tend to have about the same body types. But thin/athletic body type doesn’t mean attractive. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/57 "2015-08-30T16:16:26Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > But thin/athletic body type doesn’t mean attractive. Not always, but usually it does push you substantially toward the “more attractive” end of the bell curve especially for photos. In thinking more analytically about my OP in this thread the “pretty” impression I’m referring to, if deconstructed, is really more about being fit and looking good in shorts, sundress or a bikini than stand alone facial prettiness. If it was just a series of headshots these “pretty” girls would be attractive-“ish” but we’re not talking face models here. It’s the package of a bunch of fit and trim women in clothing that shows off their legs and figures all smiling and happy. For these women fitness, dressing attractively and the lifestyle focus that goes with that is probably a priority so the “birds of a feather” theory is probably the most explanatory. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/58 "2015-08-30T16:53:18Z")
By jove, I think we’ve solved it! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/59 "2015-08-30T17:27:18Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Not always, but usually it does push you substantially toward the “more attractive” end of the bell curve especially for photos. In thinking more analytically about my OP in this thread the “pretty” impression I’m referring to, if deconstructed, is really more about being fit and looking good in shorts, sundress or a bikini than stand alone facial prettiness. If it was just a series of headshots these “pretty” girls would be attractive-“ish” but we’re not talking face models here. It’s the package of a bunch of fit and trim women in clothing that shows off their legs and figures all smiling and happy. Yes, I think it’s fairly easy to look good–or at least “put together,” even if you’re not a knockout. Folks like Paris Hilton–not super good-looking, but the blond/skinny/provocative look plus makeup and nice clothes can be enough. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249/60 "2015-08-30T17:32:57Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > But start a thread called “What’s your IQ?” and the average response is somewhere between Stephen Hawking and Brainiac. I know, right? Even allowing for some self-reporting errors (:rolleyes:), smart people are often lacking in, shall we say, social skills. See: surgeons and academics. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tendency-of-pretty-girls-women-to-congregate-socially-with-other-pretty-girls/729249.md?page=4)