# terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad night **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 11, 1999, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-night/7693 "1999-09-11T02:49:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-night/7693/21 "1999-09-13T00:16:00Z")
Just to clarify my post and to agree with the importance of not labeling your daughter’s attempt of suicide as “attention getting”. It may or may not have been a serious attempt, but what is important is that she tried. Whether or not it was an actual attempt or a cry for help, she needs to understand that suicide is a final decision. Sometimes the decision to attempt suicide may past the point actually intended. There may be no taking it back. No changing your mind. It’s a done deal. Period. Whether or not you actually meant to die, dead is dead. As a mother, you have my heartfelt support. I can’t imagine how scary it must be to be you right now. Take care. * * * \>^,^\< KITTEN Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-night/7693/22 "1999-09-13T15:37:00Z")
Oh Jess, I wish I could add something to the good advice everyone else has said but I can’t! I’m thinkin’ of ya, hon! ---
**Author:** ![CatInHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@CatInHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatInHat)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-night/7693/23 "1999-09-13T19:51:00Z")
Jess, what a horrible and frightening situation! I’m not a trained professional, either, but here are my 2 cents. I never actually attempted suicide, but I remember feeling that things were so bad that death was the only way to deal with it. Hell, I sometimes still feel this. The thing is, when I look back on whatever made me feel this way, I can see that it wasn’t as bad as that, even though at the time it was a major disaster (to me). This keeps me going when I start thinking that way again. It took me a long time to learn that (1) things aren’t always as bad as they seem, (2) there are better ways to solve problems, (3) I can solve problems and (4) I don’t have to be perfect all the time. A word about therapists. When my parents split up (I was 11 years old), my mother sent me to this heavy-duty psychotherapist (I swear, he was Sigmund Freud reincarnated - he even looked a little like Freud). He wanted to do all the traditional psychotherapy things, like free-association. We never did anything like talk about how to deal with my feelings. IMHO, I would have been better off (and your daughter might be better off, too) with someone who can help her with practical things (i.e., how she felt when she took the pills, and what she can do instead the next time she starts feeling this way). I do agree that she should see a psychiatrist, though; underlying problems like depression could be contributing. Just make sure you get one who’s good at practical things too(there’s plenty of good ones out there). * * * The Cat In The Hat ---
**Author:** ![CatInHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@CatInHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatInHat)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-night/7693/24 "1999-09-13T19:56:00Z")
One more thing (the last post was getting way too long, and this computer likes to crash). Just because someone in the throes of adolescent angst (my 12-year-old self, for argument’s sake) wants to die **right now** doesn’t mean that I’m necessarily going to feel the same way in five minutes. As someone else said, death is pretty final. If I can learn to delay action until I’ve been able to evaluate my feelings, that can be a big help. A good therapist can help me learn coping skills to deal with this feeling. BTW, I’m not trying to be flip about “adolescent angst.” I remember what it felt like, and the pain was real enough, even if, looking back, I can’t always understand why. Hang in there, Jess. * * * The Cat In The Hat [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-night/7693.md?page=1)