# Terrible songs that never deserved to be hits **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 29, 2018, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745 "2018-01-29T17:35:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/261 "2018-02-01T18:46:54Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Gosh, you think maybe we have had several threads like this before? > > I dont see the point of this stalker-like post. Just having some fun with you, didn’t mean to offend. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Crustybooger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@Crustybooger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crustybooger)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/262 "2018-02-01T18:51:11Z")
We aw duuuuuuude - no 4? Black Dog. Stairway. Puleese . The most obnoxious two songs to be continuously played, ad nauseum, on " classic rock" radio in the U.S. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/263 "2018-02-01T19:08:33Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > ok I really hate to do this to you people - I’m not doing this out of spite, because I think you’re all ok and everything, but, really - the following I’m about to dump on you could have long-lasting neurological consequences. > > [venture forth bravely, foolish soul](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-xRMw0NyW0) > > _I said - what? (gross echo) > She said - ooo, ooo, ooo-weeee > I said - all right! (really truly fucking annoying echo that time) > She said - love me, love me, love me!_ That song cracks my shit up. She said, “WHAT?!” :mad: I said, [Horshack]“Ooo, ooh, ooh!”[/Horshack] ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/264 "2018-02-01T19:39:04Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > It differs because its tedious selection of notes eclipses, by _light years_, (and yes I realise that metaphor doesn’t really quite flow) any other 60’s keyboard-heavy hit.\* The song almost fascinates me how it’s so difficult to decide which is more mind-numbingly putz-like - [this part (ending at :10)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7uC5m-IRns) or [this part (beginning at :10)](https://youtu.be/R7uC5m-IRns?t=10). I think I’ll give the nod to number one, with its rock steady Kids From Widney Highness. I don’t get the problem. The keyboard is playing a role usually done by other instruments (bass, maybe? I don’t know shit about music, just like listening to it) that do repetitive stuff in a song. It’s just a bit more in the foreground than usual. > [@](#): > > I’ll give Tears credit, though, for their truly nifty bandname: > > :eek: Question Mark and the Mysterians :eek: The band name, in print, is _? and the Mysterians_. Just because you’ve got to **say** it “question mark and the Mysterians” doesn’t mean that’s correct when you _type_ it. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/265 "2018-02-01T19:43:59Z")
> [@betterlifethroughchemistry](#): > > Anything by John Cougar Mellencamp makes me want to vomit, but “Jack and Diane” make me violent and want to stab my ears with screwdrivers…and the fact the “Classic Rock” stations play it over and over again is maddening… > [@RTFirefly](#): > > I’m a Mellencamp fan, but I’ll agree that most of this song is pretty pedestrian. IMHO, the only thing that saves it is the bridge (let the Bible Belt come and save my soul, etc.), which (as bridges often do) has a whole different sound. I have the _Back to the Future_ videogame for my PS3. One of the characters is Edna Strickland, Vice-Principal Strickland’s maiden sister. She lives in an upstairs flat and yells at people outside her window through a bullhorn. One of the things she yells is, “Jack! Diane! I see what you’re doing behind that tree!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/266 "2018-02-01T19:49:26Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Just having some fun with you, didn’t mean to offend. > mmm Ok, but yes, the same subjects often come up once a year or more, and strangely, we do often have the same opinion. MacArthur Park (harris) is still a horrible, horrible song, and will \*always \*be one. I suspect that a similar query will be asked some months from now, and even years- and still that song will continue to be terrible. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/267 "2018-02-01T19:50:03Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I don’t get the problem. The keyboard is playing a role usually done by other instruments (bass, maybe? I don’t know shit about music, just like listening to it) that do repetitive stuff in a song. It’s just a bit more in the foreground than usual.The band name, in print, is _? and the Mysterians_. Just because you’ve got to **say** it “question mark and the Mysterians” doesn’t mean that’s correct when you _type_ it. Even the band sometimes/often wrote it “Question Mark and the Mysterians” or “? (Question Mark) and the Mysterians,” so it’s fine. [Here’s the cover of the first album](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Action_(Question_Mark_%26_the_Mysterians_album)#/media/File:Action_(Question_Mark_%26_the_Mysterians_album).jpeg), for instance. And even if they didn’t, it’s still fine stylistically. I think “96 Tears” is a great keyboard-driven garage rock tune. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/268 "2018-02-01T19:51:45Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > That song cracks my shit up. > > She said, “WHAT?!” :mad: > I said, [Horshack]“Ooo, ooh, ooh!”[/Horshack] Oh great - Ron Palillo has alighted back in my life again, and for that I thank you deeply, _deeply_. (That was mean!:() 😛 Something…aggrieved? in the way Carly harangues in “You’re So Vain”. > [@RTFirefly](#): > > It’s just a bit more in the foreground than usual. With this listener, instead of the foreground, it’s more like a (KAVO 642 B)-brand dental drill bit going all Sir Lawrence Olivier on that sensitive right bottom molar (BR 32), and I’ve definitely seen _in print_, and on albums, the question mark spelled out just as much as I’ve seen just the symbol. (as Puly just ninja’ed me on) ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/269 "2018-02-01T19:58:55Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Ok, but yes, the same subjects often come up once a year or more, and strangely, we do often have the same opinion. MacArthur Park (harris) is still a horrible, horrible song, and will \*always \*be one. I suspect that a similar query will be asked some months from now, and even years- and still that song will continue to be terrible. 😛 I have to admit, I like Donna Summer’s version. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/270 "2018-02-01T20:00:11Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > I have to admit, I like Donna Summer’s version. She \*does \*have a way of making terrible lyrics easy to listen to. Harris, however, does not. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/271 "2018-02-01T20:20:24Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Ok, but yes, the same subjects often come up once a year or more, and strangely, we do often have the same opinion. MacArthur Park (harris) is still a horrible, horrible song, and will \*always \*be one. I suspect that a similar query will be asked some months from now, and even years- and still that song will continue to be terrible. 😛 I’ll agree that the lyrics are beyond stupid and the vocals are extremely mediocre. But the tune itself, I kinda like. As a piano instrumental, for example, it is quite nice. My entry (which I’ve probably mentioned in past posts if anyone cares to search :)) is Rihanna’s wonderful song [Work.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL1UzIK-flA) If you can’t bear to listen to the trauma that is this song and her insipid, whiny delivery, at least enjoy this sample of the lyrics: > [@](#): > > Work, work, work, work, work, work > You see me I be work, work, work, work, work, work > You see me do me dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt > There’s something 'bout that work, work, work, work, work, work mmm ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/272 "2018-02-01T20:59:07Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I’ll agree that the lyrics are beyond stupid and the vocals are extremely mediocre. But the tune itself, I kinda like. As a piano instrumental, for example, it is quite nice. > > My entry (which I’ve probably mentioned in past posts if anyone cares to search :)) is Rihanna’s wonderful song [Work.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL1UzIK-flA) > > If you can’t bear to listen to the trauma that is this song and her insipid, whiny delivery, at least enjoy this sample of the lyrics: > > mmm How could the thread have gone on that long, and nobody, myself included, mentioned Mick Jagger’s “Let’s Work”? I’m not even going to spoiler-link that one. ---
**Author:** ![StrTrkr777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@StrTrkr777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrTrkr777)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/273 "2018-02-01T21:19:17Z")
Pretty much anything by The Police, but especially ‘Wrapped around your finger’ and ‘Every Breath you Take’. If a Police or Sting song comes on, I will turn the radio (or skip the song on Pandora). I forgot to mention ‘Imagine’ by John Lennon and ‘Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas time’ by Paul McCartney. ---
**Author:** ![Schubert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@Schubert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schubert)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/274 "2018-02-01T21:49:29Z")
> [@TRC4941](#): > > Lady in Red…blech But…how would have ever had this? [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/jhsrnxcDn90/hqdefault.jpg "Stairway To Stardom (1988) - Joe Refano "Lady In Red"") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhsrnxcDn90) ---
**Author:** ![Snake\_Plissken\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Snake\_Plissken\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snake_Plissken_1)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/275 "2018-02-01T22:01:13Z")
Or ‘American Pie’. Or ‘Turn the Page’. Too friggin’ long. Ain’t nobody got time for that shit. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/276 "2018-02-01T22:25:27Z")
I think I’m tired of La Bamba. ---
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/277 "2018-02-01T22:42:50Z")
> [@StrTrkr777](#): > > Pretty much anything by The Police, but especially ‘Wrapped around your finger’ and ‘Every Breath you Take’. > > If a Police or Sting song comes on, I will turn the radio (or skip the song on Pandora). I can understand the songs you mentioned, they’re not my cup of tea either, but as far as I am concerned if you can’t dig _Roxanne_, you can’t dig music. (Just my opinion…nothing personal.) ---
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/278 "2018-02-01T22:45:27Z")
^ even allowing for the fact that his affected accent might be considered annoying…the _music_ makes up for it ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/279 "2018-02-01T22:45:59Z")
> [@betterlifethroughchemistry](#): > > Anything by John Cougar Mellencamp makes me want to vomit, but “Jack and Diane” make me violent and want to stab my ears with screwdrivers…and the fact the “Classic Rock” stations play it over and over again is maddening… Blerrggghhh, I hate this song. I don’t like any of his stuff, but this one makes me actively stabby. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/280 "2018-02-01T22:50:19Z")
> [@Jacquernagy](#): > > I can understand the songs you mentioned, they’re not my cup of tea either, but as far as I am concerned if you can’t dig _Roxanne_, you can’t dig music. (Just my opinion…nothing personal.) Definitely agree with those two particular songs but, man, most of the Police were awesome. I was listening to isolated drum tracks in the car the other day and, holy shit, that Stewart Copeland … Agree on Sting, though. Oh, by the way, here’s a [nice song deconstruction I watched the other day](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZavJLr5Otq4&list=LL0w50nj3sge7AyiiQUnDFfw&index=1) by Rick Beato of “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic,” if you’re interested. This dude is crazy awesome for in-depth music lessons on theory, orchestration, etc., but he just started doing song deconstructions, too. Made me appreciate the song that much more. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745.md?page=15)