# Terrible songs that never deserved to be hits **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 29, 2018, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745 "2018-01-29T17:35:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/281 "2018-02-01T22:55:56Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Would bands like Echo and the Bunnymen, The Cure, New Order, The Jam, The Pretenders, etc., count here, or is that not “pop” enough? That is a good question. The Pretenders count, I think, and it’s important to remember they are fundamentally a British group, with only Hynde being American and the overall sound of the band being very British. The rest, I don’t know if they’re really “pop” enough. I think The Police _might_ count, although I’d almost place some of their stuff closer to bands like Genesis. I would consider the Cars to be a distinctively American form of New Wave, also. ---
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/282 "2018-02-01T22:58:50Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Definitely agree with those two particular songs but, man, most of the Police were awesome. I was listening to isolated drum tracks in the car the other day and, holy shit, that Stewart Copeland … Agree on Sting, though. I don’t think he’s the best example of a lead-singing bassist, although he holds his own, but as a bassist I have to give props to all singing bassists. It means he had to develop a style of bass playing that interacts with the rest of the music in a unique way to optimize it for doing vocals simultaneously, and this is no small achievement. ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/283 "2018-02-01T23:20:03Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Gosh, you think maybe we have had several threads like this before? > > I dont see the point of this stalker-like post. 'Cause it took so long to bake it, and they’ll never have that recipe again? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/284 "2018-02-01T23:32:36Z")
> [@Jacquernagy](#): > > I don’t think he’s the best example of a lead-singing bassist, although he holds his own, but as a bassist I have to give props to all singing bassists. It means he had to develop a style of bass playing that interacts with the rest of the music in a unique way to optimize it for doing vocals simultaneously, and this is no small achievement. Sorry. My sentence structure was a bit ambiguous. By “most of the Police” I meant “most of the Police’s work.” I thought Sting’s work in the Police was excellent, for the vast majority of stuff. I’m not entirely sure what the interpersonal dynamic there was (though I get hints of friction), but Copeland, Sumner, and Sting made a fantastic trio. ---
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/285 "2018-02-01T23:39:04Z")
OK, yeah it was a little unclear. I think Sting as a member of the Police was pretty badass, but I can’t say his solo career ever did anything for me. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/286 "2018-02-01T23:39:48Z")
> [@Snake\_Plissken](#): > > Or ‘American Pie’. Or ‘Turn the Page’. Too friggin’ long. Ain’t nobody got time for that shit. There were a lot of songs I couldn’t listen to for many, many years, but once I heard them again I rediscovered their value. Both “American Pie” and “MacArthur Park” are among them. Even The Beatles’ stuff got too familiar, but now I can listen to any song from their catalog with the same awe as when I first heard them. (With the obvious few exceptions, of course.) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/287 "2018-02-02T01:03:50Z")
Anything by Yoko is like fingernails on chalk boards. I presume she would like that opinion, though. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/288 "2018-02-02T01:15:40Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Anything by Yoko is like fingernails on chalk boards. I presume she would like that opinion, though. Not sure she was exactly on the hit parade. Meanwhile - \*I hear the secrets that you keep. When you’re talking in your sleep.\* ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Zox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Mr\_Zox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Zox)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/289 "2018-02-02T01:24:43Z")
_Barracuda_ and _Magic Man_ by Heart. Being from the Pacific NorthWet I’m not supposed to say this, but I don’t like Heart. They’re second-rate, and the whole “We’re witchy, mysterious, tough, cool, and sexy” pose is a bad joke IMO. And these songs are their worst “we’re so tough” works. _Those About to Rock_; AC/DC is obnoxious enough at best, but this arena rock “anthem” is just ugly, thudding, squaking noise. _Horse With No Name_. “In the desert you can remember your name/'Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain” - - - Seriously? Do you have **any** ability to write English? _We’ve Only Just Begun_. The utter worst of the appalling works of the utterly lame Carpenters. _American Pie_. I’m convinced McLean did this as a joke, and is as bemused as I that this became popular. At least he’s had the sense to decline to “explain” this mush. _Ricky Don’t Lose That Number_. Stalker City! Some jerk can’t accept a woman left him at a dead run. Blech. _Hotel California_. A pretentious, ill-written attempt to be spooky. And it goes on and on and on and on and… _Alone Again, Naturally_. The apotheosis of whiny, dreary, self-indulgent downer songs. _Do What You Like_ by Blind Faith. Interminable, wandering, and pointless. May be the source of all the “don’t let the drummer write songs” jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/290 "2018-02-02T01:38:24Z")
> [@Mr\_Zox](#): > > _Alone Again, Naturally_. The apotheosis of whiny, dreary, self-indulgent downer songs. The lyrics are kind of stupid, but the chord progression and orchestral arrangement are extremely interesting and beautiful. Any guitarist who can strum through those chord changes exactly as written in the chart, without any shortcuts, has serious chops. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/291 "2018-02-02T02:05:22Z")
> [@Mr\_Zox](#): > > _Barracuda_ and _Magic Man_ by Heart. Being from the Pacific NorthWet I’m not supposed to say this, but I don’t like Heart. They’re second-rate, and the whole “We’re witchy, mysterious, tough, cool, and sexy” pose is a bad joke IMO. And these songs are their worst “we’re so tough” works. I’ll go with “What About Love”, “Never”, and “Nothin At All”. Heard they were David Foster-penned - I’m guessing a rumour. > [@Mr\_Zox](#): > > _Ricky Don’t Lose That Number_. Stalker City! Some jerk can’t accept a woman left him at a dead run. Blech I’m probably alone on an island liking this one. Most people I know don’t like it, but I think it’s a pretty classy number, definitely unique for a pop hit, with a nod to Horace Silver. > [@Mr\_Zox](#): > > _We’ve Only Just Begun_. The utter worst of the appalling works of the utterly lame Carpenters. heh. yeah. footnoted it earlier. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/292 "2018-02-02T02:12:00Z")
The Carpenters’ version of Leon Russell’s “Superstar” is a hauntingly fine song. I remember we did a thread on the one song you like by groups you don’t. It went on for a while. I’d go so far as to say that songs matter much more than groups, at least for me. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/293 "2018-02-02T02:32:48Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > I’m probably alone on an island liking this one. Most people I know don’t like it, but I think it’s a pretty classy number, definitely unique for a pop hit, with a nod to Horace Silver. I suspect there’s a good number of fans of that on here. Steely Dan gets reasonable respect. I certainly admire them, and I think it’s a good song, even if they’re not my usual cup of tea. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/294 "2018-02-02T03:22:47Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I suspect there’s a good number of fans of that on here. Steely Dan gets reasonable respect. I certainly admire them, and I think it’s a good song, even if they’re not my usual cup of tea. Sh!!! (in whispered tones): At all costs don’t let that beastly beast of all beasts 😛 **scabpicker** 😛 in on this, or all hell will break loose! Yes - there’s the Anti-Christ, and then there’s the Anti-Steely Dan, and Scabs is so wretchedly, so grotesquely, and horribly (and vulgarly too!) The Anti Steely Dan, he’ll…he’ll…probably go tell me to go get off my yacht or something! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/295 "2018-02-02T03:31:38Z")
Oh-oh No No _way…_ ::as objects on table bounce from reverberations of approaching tromping…:: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/296 "2018-02-02T03:39:54Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Oh-oh > > No > > No _way…_ > > ::as objects on table bounce from reverberations of approaching tromping…:: > > :eek: Don’t worry. If he’s coming after Steely Dan he’ll have to go through me. I’ve got \*his \*number. ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/297 "2018-02-02T03:40:27Z")
Rikki Don’t lose that Number is one of the greatest singles of the 20th century. What is there to detract from the beauty, economy, and mystery of it? In what world? Could have said Show Biz Kids, Hey Nineteen, and I’d say ok. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/298 "2018-02-02T03:44:24Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Sh!!! (in whispered tones): At all costs don’t let that beastly beast of all beasts 😛 **scabpicker** 😛 in on this, or all hell will break loose! I don’t know the backstory on this, but I can live with Steely Dan if only for “Peg.” But it’s Rick Marotta’s drum part that just keeps drawing me back to that song, for whatever reason. And that Jay Graydon guitar solo is pretty wild, too. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/299 "2018-02-02T04:07:36Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > And that Jay Graydon guitar solo is pretty wild, too. I gotta say - and prolly mentioned elsewhere - am hard pressed to think of a more beatifically, stupendously fucked-up guit solo for a top ten pop hit. I challenge anyone to name one. When no one’s looking, I’ve been known to surreptitiously genuflect to that solo, it humbles me so. And thanks, **Exap** , for the probably needed back-up, but I’m pretty sure I got all bases covered with a weapon-shield that should render **Scabs** , well… !!!PEG!!! ETA: and I just _know,_ Scabs, that you knew that was coming. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/300 "2018-02-02T04:25:39Z")
> [@Mr\_Zox](#): > > _Barracuda_ and _Magic Man_ by Heart. Being from the Pacific NorthWet I’m not supposed to say this, but I don’t like Heart. They’re second-rate, and the whole “We’re witchy, mysterious, tough, cool, and sexy” pose is a bad joke IMO. And these songs are their worst “we’re so tough” works. “Dreamboat Annie” is one of my all-time favorite songs. However, “All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You” is not. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745.md?page=16)