# Terrible songs that never deserved to be hits **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 29, 2018, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745 "2018-01-29T17:35:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Grumbacher\_Red](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Grumbacher\_Red](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumbacher_Red)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/341 "2018-02-03T20:16:24Z")
I Can’t Wait by Stevie Nicks has every 80s synth techno pop schick all thrown into a kitchen sink and banged around. And the video is nothing but marching up and down stairs and banging on walls. I prefer my Stevie much more ethereal and witchy. She's one of those artists that when she gets it right she is sublime. When she is off, she is all the way OFF. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/342 "2018-02-03T20:18:20Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I’m having your baby > Can’t remember who sang it. > Paul Anka??? > > Or is it, You’re having my baby?? Whoever was having it, the song was a travesty. In my college radio days I once started playing “You’re Having My Baby”, then inserted a sound effect of a woman screaming in the background. Juvenile, but fun. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/343 "2018-02-03T20:54:50Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Just having some fun with you, didn’t mean to offend. > mmm I’ll 'fess up to similar behavior WRT to Matthew Wilder’s, “Break My Stride”. “We Built This City” has earned a few rants from me in the past as well. Hell, I even called “Break My Stride” my White Whale. If the subject comes up every several months, and we’ve been here years, you’ll have that. I enjoy and appreciate his strong, unwavering stance, and will sign his petition against “MacArthur Park”\* if he co-sponsors my Matthew Wilder Time Travel Assassination bill. 😃 - Even though I still think it can be a great vocal showcase in the hands of an excellent singer, overall, it REALLY IS for the best. . . ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/344 "2018-02-03T21:00:00Z")
> [@Grumbacher\_Red](#): > > I Can’t Wait by Stevie Nicks has every 80s synth techno pop schick all thrown into a kitchen sink and banged around. And the video is nothing but marching up and down stairs and banging on walls. > > I prefer my Stevie much more ethereal and witchy. She's one of those artists that when she gets it right she is sublime. When she is off, she is all the way OFF. And don’t forget the chiffon! Black leather will do in a pinch. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/345 "2018-02-03T21:20:14Z")
Here’s another one: Amy Grant’s “That’s What Love Is For”. UUUUGGHHHH!!! “We Belong” by Pat Benatar is another dud that doesn’t seem to leave classic radio. I happen to like “What’s Up?” Linda Perry has written quite a few other hits, and she has a diaphragm like a bellows. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/346 "2018-02-03T21:20:44Z")
I just thought of “Young Girl,” by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap. I had been successfully forgetting that song for years, but something in this thread released the song kraken. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/347 "2018-02-03T22:24:24Z")
I despise everything the Indigo Girls have done. I never liked their music, especially so after a well-meaning friend surprised me with a concert ticket for my birthday (I was gracious and pretended to love it). Speaking of concerts . . . as an '80’s New Waver teen, I worshipped Culture Club. In 1997 I saw Boy George in concert and he was awful - couldn’t hit any of the high notes, gravelly voice, etc. I pretend as if it didn’t happen and stick to CC’s classic ADs. ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/348 "2018-02-03T22:59:34Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Jeez - took ya! > I could be way out wrong, but I coulda sworn you mentioned in another post maybe a year back that you like to sometimes bombard your better half with PEG-yells. > And you call _us_ bastards!!! 🙂 > Absolutely **depraved**. > I was wanting to mention Al Stewart’s “Year of the Cat” but figured naaa that would muss up peoples’ hair a little. > > or > > wait First, I have to say that I think YotC is a pretty decent accomplishment, especially in terms of the lyrics. But tastes differ. Second, I was shocked to discover that it got to #8 on Billboard’s 100. I truly though that it was an “album cut” that only got up to #20 or so. I learn something new every time… ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/349 "2018-02-04T03:03:07Z")
More on “A Horse With No Name”. You’re in the middle of the desert. You’ve got nothing else to do. NAME THE DAMN HORSE. ---
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/350 "2018-02-04T04:06:36Z")
The heat was hot. LMAO. America were good at coming up with melodic hooks, but they were comically horrible at lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/351 "2018-02-04T04:39:21Z")
Here’s a double shot of unmitigated terror from the Great White North in the form of [These Eyes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw8nXCx5qgo) and [Gonna Break It to Them Gently](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBSG1qfE85w). Let’s face it, the first song - how can you not imitate the way Burt emotes _these eyes_? Yeah? Feelin it too? Cathartic. Troubling. Pudding proof that bands as good as the Guess Who (featuring possibly one of my top 20 guitarists Randy Bachmann) can extrude something so…so…bleauaa…::bee-lines to the kitchen sink:: And then if I can crawl puke-stained to the next number - wow…just…I’ll just say… _Gonna break it to my grandma…_(second ETA: bleaaaaauuuurrrggggghhh) I could be wrong, but that’s post-GW. I do know it’s definitely the dawning, the ushering in, (the blooming, you might say), of Burt’s Iconic Moustache Period. (ETA: BIMP for short) ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/352 "2018-02-04T06:45:19Z")
A Burton Cummings-less Guess Who is scheduled to perform at a casino in my city in a few weeks. Looks like Randy Bachman is the only original member. ---
**Author:** ![LLCoolL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llcooll/32/3596_2.png) [@LLCoolL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LLCoolL)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/353 "2018-02-04T08:32:17Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Also, my user profile raises alarms about two more offenders - Thunderclaptrap Newman’s [“Something In The Air”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTZoJ01FpD8) … Nothing like shmaltzy top ten “hippy pop”\* - possibly one of the most painful genres ever, aging as well as a bottle of Baby duck, as in - not very. Tom Petty’s done a cover of this one. Doesn’t that redeem it? [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/2OUCpKzMAbQ/hqdefault.jpg "Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers- Something in the Air") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OUCpKzMAbQ) ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/354 "2018-02-04T12:37:47Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Here’s another one:“We Belong” by Pat Benatar is another dud that doesn’t seem to leave classic radio. I haven’t heard that song in ages and I tend to listen to _cough_ [sub]oldies radio[/sub] _cough_ nowadays. I loved her back in her heyday and I still do. > [@](#): > > I happen to like “What’s Up?” Linda Perry has written quite a few other hits, and she has a diaphragm like a bellows. She’s always been better known as a producer than a performer. But hell yes, the woman can belt 'em. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/355 "2018-02-04T12:58:28Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I watch lots of videos of Copeland (he’s got a pretty sweet musical set up at his place) and he just looks to always be having the time of his life. Manic as fuck, but he’s in his happy spot, so I can totally believe that he harbors no resentment whatsoever, if he did at one time. For a long time, Sting got nearly all of the royalties from _The Police_ songs because he had the songwriting credit. This rightfully irked Copeland and Summers because Sting didn’t write the drum and lead guitar bits, the musicians worked them out themselves. At some point Sting agreed to give them a percentage of cash stream, which probably went a long way in easing old grievances. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/356 "2018-02-04T14:46:21Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > For a long time, Sting got nearly all of the royalties from _The Police_ songs because he had the songwriting credit. This rightfully irked Copeland and Summers because Sting didn’t write the drum and lead guitar bits, the musicians worked them out themselves. At some point Sting agreed to give them a percentage of cash stream, which probably went a long way in easing old grievances. Unless an agreement is made beforehand, that is often how it works. Usually the songwriter is the one who comes up with the lyrics and melody. Rhythm and harmony goes under “arrangement.” That’s why it’s best to agree on these things in advance. (Looking it up, it seems Andy Summers was particularly pissed, because he didn’t even get paid for _his_ riff that was used on Puff Daddy’s “I’ll Be Missing You,” since Sting has the full songwriting credit on it. Puff Daddy had to pay 100% of the royalties to Sting and it looks like four years ago, that song was netting $2000 _a day_ for Sting.) ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/357 "2018-02-04T16:14:45Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > More on “A Horse With No Name”. You’re in the middle of the desert. You’ve got nothing else to do. NAME THE DAMN HORSE. If you’re going to just let the horse run free in the end, why bother giving it a name? ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/358 "2018-02-04T16:55:12Z")
[quote=“LLCoolL, post:353, topic:807745”] Tom Petty’s done a cover of this one. Doesn’t that redeem it? [/QUOTE] That song didn’t need it. Thunderclap Newman was great. Speedy Keen, Jimmy Mccullough and Andy Newman on Piano. Why isn’t the genre simply called “good” for this: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/S2fGHVtML9I/maxresdefault.jpg "Thunderclap Newman Accidents (LP Version)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2fGHVtML9I) ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/359 "2018-02-04T20:44:26Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > If you’re going to just let the horse run free in the end, why bother giving it a name? So it’ll come back when you call to it. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/360 "2018-02-04T21:24:34Z")
All I need is the air that I breathe… repeat endlessly. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745.md?page=19)