# Terrible songs that never deserved to be hits **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 29, 2018, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745 "2018-01-29T17:35:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 21
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/401 "2018-02-10T01:34:30Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > I LOVE that song. Maybe you had that confused with ‘[When you’re in love with a beautiful woman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7YmqBaH2jk)’? “When you’re in love with a beautiful woman, it’s hard…” Um…Alex, I’ll take Subversive Seventies Lyrics for $500, please… (ooh it’s hard, you know it gets so hard!) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/402 "2018-02-10T18:30:16Z")
Much as I love ABBA, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do NOT like that one song. No hard feelings Between you and me. If we [del]get naked[/del] can’t make it But just want and see. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/403 "2018-02-10T23:00:37Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > As someone elsewhere pointed out in a similar discussion, this song was performed by men in their 20s, one of them married with a child. I had never thought of it that way, but now I do. :o If the Beatles were around today, they’d be 70yo men playing this song and grossing [a half-billion per concert tour](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_highest-grossing_concert_tours). ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/404 "2018-02-15T17:52:44Z")
Killing two birds with a stone: “You take My Breath Away” is sorta a “homonym” diss: ergo [Rex Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vktvh42KNGw) and [Berlin.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bx51eegLTY8) (that was tidy!) \*And just to ease the pain - don’t worry - LOTS of Tom Cruise in the second vid) ---
**Author:** ![phxjcc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8491ac/32.png) [@phxjcc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phxjcc)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/405 "2018-02-16T09:57:29Z")
> [@Brayne\_Ded](#): > > _Patches_ by Clarence Carter. I hope to heaven I never hear that one again. [/QUOTE] This is the worst. Ever. Maudlin teenage fantasy…oh, I loved her sooo much, I let her die. Wtf? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/406 "2018-02-16T13:20:37Z")
> [@phxjcc](#): > > This is the worst. Ever. > > Maudlin teenage fantasy…oh, I loved her sooo much, I let her die. Wtf? I can’t believe I’m being forced to defend “Patches,” but no. It’s a completely different maudlin teenage fantasy. He’s counted on to support his family after his father dies. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/407 "2018-02-16T13:45:22Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Did you even read the OP? > > Anyway, I nominate Foreigner for “I Want to Know What Love Is.” Terribly treacley price of crap. And it reached number one. > > Barf. Come, now, tell us how you really feel! 😃 “Treacley” - I have an extensive vocabulary, but I had to Google that word. LoL ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/408 "2018-02-16T23:49:31Z")
That awful Bobby McGee song by that awful Janis Joplin singer. One song that will never fail to get the radio station changed or flat out radio turned off. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/409 "2018-02-16T23:50:56Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Much as I love ABBA, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do NOT like that one song. > > No hard feelings > Between you and me. > If we [del]get naked[/del] can’t make it > But just want and see. The only time I can stand Abba is in that “zombie” episode of Community. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2018, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/410 "2018-02-17T02:10:45Z")
Moy brain’urts. Well, [because.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6JJjfnNwsY) ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2018, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/411 "2018-02-17T02:33:21Z")
> [@phxjcc](#): > This is the worst. Ever. Maudlin teenage fantasy…oh, I loved her sooo much, I let her die. Wtf? [/QUOTE] Amazing that the same guy gave us “Strokin’”. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2018, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/412 "2018-02-17T03:13:19Z")
Will probably get flamed for this but I found Carly Simon singing the theme from “The Spy Who Loved Me” tiresome. Especially goin _ba-by you’re, the best_ X infinity - sounds kinda dreary to me. Some of the notes she holds seem…forced?..can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s possible I could be biased, here, by her haranguing “Aniticipation”. ETA - or wait, I think I mean “You’re So Vain”. ---
**Author:** ![Newtosite](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/newtosite/32/8623_2.png) [@Newtosite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Newtosite)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2018, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/413 "2018-02-17T10:05:39Z")
> [@phxjcc](#): > This is the worst. Ever. Maudlin teenage fantasy…oh, I loved her sooo much, I let her die. Wtf? [/QUOTE] I think you’re confusing this with Dickey Lee’s Patches. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2018, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/414 "2018-02-17T16:05:29Z")
Playing in the background yesterday at the urine drug test lab (don’t ask) was the Dave Loggins song “Please Come To Boston”, which is all about this guy who’s (apparently) trying to make it in the music biz and wants his girlfriend to come out and live with him in a variety of cool places, but she’s having none of it. _““There ain’t no gold and there ain’t nobody like me””_ Yeah, go back to Tennessee and live in extreme poverty with a woman who flunked 8th grade English class. Sounds like a plan. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2018, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/415 "2018-02-17T21:27:10Z")
Well, it might be. How hot is she? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2018, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/416 "2018-02-18T16:30:21Z")
Currently beleaguered right now by the “do-do-do-do-do-do, do, do-do-do, do” from America’s “Magic”. Help. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2018, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/417 "2018-02-18T18:27:15Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > How hot is she? 😛 I picture her resembling the southern belle in [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZSE_Wh8-sE): \*"Well she ain’t that good lookin’ But I ain’t that smart That old woman Done stole my heart Well, we ain’t got much Back a-here in these hills 'Bout all we can afford Is a few cheap thrills So, put yer teeth up on the windowsill Tell the neighbors to let us be Oh can’t they see that we’re in love That we’re in love . we’re in love"\* ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/418 "2018-02-19T14:18:47Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > That awful Bobby McGee song by that awful Janis Joplin singer. One song that will never fail to get the radio station changed or flat out radio turned off. I can _taste_ a loogie in the back of my throat every time she says “McGee”. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/419 "2018-02-20T04:35:15Z")
To highlight the grossness (that I’m already apologizing for) of this next Abomination Against the Universe, I’m cueing it at [the exact point](https://youtu.be/5sfHXZ7OlCw?t=225) of said grossness, not only sonically, but also visually. I’m also apologizing in advance for totally withholding what this pile of crap is. You’ve been warned…Really - this is fucking harsh… ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/420 "2018-02-22T22:38:30Z")
This was a hit in '75, and put Moog Synthesizers, everywhere, to shame: [Rockford Files theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yg1Cx26-928) Great answering machine recording! If the show was like that, I would’ve watched every episode. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745.md?page=20) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745.md?page=22)