# Terrible songs that never deserved to be hits **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 29, 2018, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745 "2018-01-29T17:35:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/421 "2018-02-22T23:02:50Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > This was a hit in '75, and put Moog Synthesizers, everywhere, to shame: > > [Rockford Files theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yg1Cx26-928) > > Great answering machine recording! If the show was like that, I would’ve watched every episode. The Blues harp in the middle fits with the style of music so much better than the Moog does! ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2018, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/422 "2018-02-23T02:58:30Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > I think I’m tired of La Bamba. I don’t think that’s legal. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/423 "2018-02-26T05:47:54Z")
There were a couple Queen stinkers mentioned earlier, but I’m pretty sure their most vile, most cretinous, most dripping-with-“shoot-me”-ism that has still managed to evade the panopticon is “Body Language”. GIVE MEEEEEEEEEE-YEAH…YA BOD’AAAAAAAAAYYYY!!! no link after typing that. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/424 "2018-02-26T05:58:27Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Anyway, I nominate Foreigner for “I Want to Know What Love Is.” Terribly treacley price of crap. And it reached number one. Wherever they perform, they get a high school honors choir to back them up on this tune. They usually do this in exchange for the band making a donation to music scholarships and the like. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/425 "2018-02-26T14:24:43Z")
You know you are old if you remember Lorne Greene’s [Ringo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ringo_(song)) ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/426 "2018-02-26T15:47:23Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > To highlight the grossness (that I’m already apologizing for) of this next Abomination Against the Universe, I’m cueing it at [the exact point](https://youtu.be/5sfHXZ7OlCw?t=225) of said grossness, not only sonically, but also visually. > I’m also apologizing in advance for totally withholding what this pile of crap is. > > You’ve been warned…Really - this is fucking harsh… Hey! Be nice. It’s not how WELL the Canadian’s do power pop. It’s that they do it at all. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/427 "2018-02-26T16:01:35Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > That awful Bobby McGee song by that awful Janis Joplin singer. One song that will never fail to get the radio station changed or flat out radio turned off. Serious question: what radio station do you listen to that plays it with any frequency? I think it’s been 30 years since I heard a Janis song on the radio. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/428 "2018-02-26T18:50:06Z")
I thought this was another crappy Round Dark Sunglasses and Tennille song but _noooooooo_ we have one Maxine Nightingale to blame for this [soul-sapping dreariness.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckCwBAhz4oc) (JB just enter the building?) At least the video, itself, has a nice, forthright message emblazoned onto it. ---
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/429 "2018-02-26T18:52:35Z")
I don’t know what you’re talking about, that song is badass. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/430 "2018-02-26T19:18:23Z")
Yeah, that’s a great song. I mean… “dreary”? ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/431 "2018-02-26T19:32:40Z")
“Hungry Eyes”…brought to you by: that pathetic, cringing little milksop otherwise known as Eric Carmen, who’s responsible for “All By Myself” and “Never Gonna Fall In Love Again”. I can just picture it (after those two lachrymose numbers were unleashed on the unwitting public) - some bloated, cigar-chomping record executive with goatee and tinted shades is all “it’s like this, _seeeee_…Eric…Eric baby…Your stuff is wimpy…The word’s out you’re gettin’ wimpy…all this all by myself shit…ya gotta sexier, man…sex sells…sex it up!..maybe somethin about, I dunno - gettin hungry for it?..play the hungry angle…like hungry for pussy, right? RIGHT!?..hey quit cryin’ on me again!” [Here](https://youtu.be/2ssCL292DQA?t=200) we see him getting cuckolded by his evidently shape-shifting girlfriend, and so I’m not sure if that’s exactly what exec had in mind. I really have no idea what’s going on. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/432 "2018-02-26T19:42:23Z")
Yeah with “Right Back Where We Started From” - the way it sorta bounces - no, trudges - along, in its pedestrian, harping manner, and then going into that blaring “well it’s aaaaaaaaalllllllllllll-right” in-your-face-ness that, yeah, ‘drears’ me out. Maybe if I wore bright yellow suspenders and held a long Gene Reyburny microphone and sorta marched on the spot I’d feel ok singing it, possibly. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/433 "2018-02-26T19:45:05Z")
This relates to a point that several posters have made but which doesn’t seem to have been acknowledged. By what standard other than (long or short term) popularity can any song be objectively said to be good or bad? What’s the meaning of people saying that such-and-such song is a terrible song that never deserved to be a hit? What’s in such an assertion other than a premise that their own personal taste has some objective value that the taste of many other people doesn’t have, and for no apparently-valid reason? The only thing I can think of if you can somehow make a case that a given song has some non-musical aspect which accounts for its popularity, such that you can discount the song’s popularity as being on non-musical grounds. Examples would be national anthems or sports-team theme songs, or songs which happen to fill some need at a particular time (e.g. patriotic songs in the wake of 9/11). I’ll grant that. But that’s not the vast majority of songs cited here, most of which have no apparent basis for their popularity other than genuine musical appreciation by fans. But perhaps this entire thread is one gigantic whoosh, and no one really intends any of these claims seriously at all, and all everyone means is that “I personally don’t like this song” and nothing more. It doesn’t seem like that, though. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/434 "2018-02-26T20:20:05Z")
And then there’s unequivocally empirical, peer-reviewed incisive gold from yours truly. Anyway I gotta get back on the phone with Robert Christgau. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/435 "2018-02-26T22:16:16Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Serious question: what radio station do you listen to that plays it with any frequency? I think it’s been 30 years since I heard a Janis song on the radio. I heard it about a week or two ago on WXRT (93.1) here in Chicago while dropping my kids off to school. It’s not particularly uncommon to hear it here. And it looks like WDRV (97.1 FM) just played the song yesterday at 2:30 a.m, Saturday at 1:24 p.m., and Tuesday at 4 p.m, so three times in the span of seven days. It gets reasonable radio play here. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/436 "2018-02-26T22:23:46Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > This relates to a point that several posters have made but which doesn’t seem to have been acknowledged. > > By what standard other than (long or short term) popularity can any song be objectively said to be good or bad? Well, one surefire method for possible candidates are songs whose popularity was lower than their play by radio stations, for instance through payola or a faulty billboard measurement system. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/437 "2018-02-26T23:10:42Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Serious question: what radio station do you listen to that plays it with any frequency? I think it’s been 30 years since I heard a Janis song on the radio. Sirius satelite radio, classic Vinyl. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/438 "2018-02-26T23:39:17Z")
\*\*This \*\*gawdawful song knocked ABBA’s “Money, Money, Money” off the top of the UK charts the last week in December 1976, much to my amazement and that of everyone else I knew in England: Ew! To this day, I can't stand listening to it! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2018, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/439 "2018-02-27T00:27:31Z")
ABBA had some of the worst lyrics on earth. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2018, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/440 "2018-02-27T00:31:58Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > ABBA had some of the worst lyrics on earth. Possibly. I never paid much attention. The music was great, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745.md?page=23)