# Terrible songs that never deserved to be hits **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 29, 2018, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745 "2018-01-29T17:35:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2018, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/461 "2018-03-23T06:06:48Z")
Too Late For Goodbyes - Julian Lennon. ---
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2018, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/462 "2018-03-23T06:47:49Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > I’m old fashioned, I listen to the oldies station on the car radio, AND on a Spectrum tv music station (they have oldies, and a couple dozen other categories). The one I cannot bear is that Pina Colada song. Sirius XM’s _Yacht Rock_ is one of the stations in regular rotation on my radio; and it plays Rupert Holmes a lot. I think his song [“Him”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_eQ63Plv6A) is a lot better than _Escape._ Has a better groove, better hook, better lyrics, better everything. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2018, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/463 "2018-05-11T03:03:40Z")
Apologies for sacrilegiously exhuming this from the Unholy Dead but it just hit me like a something or other: [One Man Woman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGZkdpgAoPc) I just started singing it, out of the blue, for no reason… ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2018, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/464 "2018-05-11T05:42:48Z")
How about Madonna’s “Music”? There’s an adult contemporary station in my city that seems to play it every.single.day around 4pm. ---
**Author:** ![MikeF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MikeF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeF)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2018, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/465 "2018-05-11T18:54:20Z")
> [@drad\_dog](#): > > I detest “Walking in Memphis” in every aspect. From Wikipedia "…veteran music journalist Dave Marsh opines of “Walking in Memphis”: “Its perfectly written narrative takes into account the whole history of American music, from where it begins in storefront church gospel and W.C. Handy’s blues to where it shoots out into Elvis and Al Green and, at the climactic moment, Marc Cohn himself.”[ I rather like that one. “Silver Thunderbird”, too. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/466 "2018-05-24T02:59:43Z")
If any one actually likes [Convoy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd5ZLJWQmss) then please grovellingly explain with your head bowed down and stuff. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/467 "2018-05-24T03:23:05Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > If any one actually likes [Convoy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd5ZLJWQmss) then please grovellingly explain with your head bowed down and stuff. Nope, I’ll proudly admit to liking it with my head held high. The movie sucked, though. 10-4, Good Buddy. Catch ya’ on the ol’ flip flop. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/468 "2018-05-24T03:33:32Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > If any one actually likes [Convoy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd5ZLJWQmss) then please grovellingly explain with your head bowed down and stuff. Where did you get that piece of crap? [The Original.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3VN54M1OXA) ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/469 "2018-05-24T03:48:31Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > If any one actually likes [Convoy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd5ZLJWQmss) then please grovellingly explain with your head bowed down and stuff. I love Convoy (and pretty much everything else by C. W. McCall, and I too admit it with my head high. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/470 "2018-05-24T04:45:03Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Where did you get that piece of crap? > [The Original.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3VN54M1OXA) Geez, yeah. Everything about the movie, including the theme, sucked. The original song was great, though. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/471 "2018-05-24T04:48:39Z")
I should qualify that C.J.'s lowdown is cool - it’s those milquetoasts singing in the chorus who need to get a death. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2018, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/472 "2018-05-26T00:23:51Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > If any one actually likes [Convoy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd5ZLJWQmss) then please grovellingly explain with your head bowed down and stuff. How can you NOT love a song with the phrase, “eleven long-haired friends o’ Jesus in a chartreuse microbus”? [now checking … of course I got it right, except most sites spell out “of”] Granted, “chartreuse” is not up there with “brucellosis” for Most Unlikely Word in a Song, but it’s still pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2018, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/473 "2018-05-29T22:59:37Z")
> [@Tzigone](#): > > Really? I always thought it was funny (as in, I chuckled and though it was intentional) because the gambler got the narrarator’s whiskey, cigarettes, and even got a light from him. That’s a guy that doesn’t pay for anything. Well, that’s how somewhere in the darkness he broke even. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/474 "2018-05-30T01:04:54Z")
“Our Lips Are Sealed” - Go-Gos. ---
**Author:** ![syncrolecyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@syncrolecyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/syncrolecyne)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/475 "2018-05-31T05:58:09Z")
Wayne Newton’s “Daddy Don’t You Walk So Fast” (with Danke Schoen a close contender) - his voice was really annoying before he took on a more “macho” look and sound. Sonny and Cher “The Beat Goes On,” with profound comments on the 1960s such as “the grocery store’s a supermart” and “electrically they keep a baseball score…” revolutionary times indeed. Billy Joel, “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/476 "2018-05-31T07:55:19Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > “The Gambler” by Kenny Rodgers (and just about everything else he wrote). “The Gambler” stands out because the “advice” is meaningless and the message is pure unadulterated clinical depression (“The best you can do is die in your sleep”!!! That’s not even a low bar; it’s a ditch :smack:). What’s worse is that people think it’s inspiring.:eek: Rogers didn’t write The Gambler. It was written by Don Schlitz. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/477 "2018-05-31T08:57:58Z")
Johnny Come Home by Fine Young Cannibals. (Ohh an arthouse cinema reference! I just know I’m going to like this band!!) Why did Johnny leave home? - probably your ultra-annoying vocal style. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/478 "2018-05-31T16:05:21Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Johnny Come Home by Fine Young Cannibals. (Ohh an arthouse cinema reference! I just know I’m going to like this band!!) > > Why did Johnny leave home? - probably your ultra-annoying vocal style. Seriously - because he had a horrible home life. His father beat him. But I admit Roland’s voice can be whiney. The song shares a theme with Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat, except in that song he’s definitely leaving home for the big city because he’s gay. Worse than the Gambler, even, is Coward of the County. Man is that an annoying song. In the version I hear in my head, he gets his ass kicked by the good ol’ boy rapists, because he never actually learned to fight, and they had. A good heart won’t win over experience. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/479 "2018-05-31T16:12:34Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > I love Convoy (and pretty much everything else by C. W. McCall, and I too admit it with my head high. I like Convoy, even though the engineer in me knows you can’t talk on a CB from Jersey to Omaha. Geeze! Wolf Creek Pass is my favorite, but I was sadly disappointed to learn there is about five miles of straight flat road between getting off the hill and finding that feed store in downtown Pagosa Springs. They lied to me! But if I ever drive truck, I will have my own chromium plated, fully illuminated, gen-u-ine accessory shift knob. Probably can get one at Iowa 80, the world’s largest truck stop. They have every fully illuminated truck accessory known to man. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745/480 "2018-05-31T19:54:00Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > I like Convoy, even though the engineer in me knows you can’t talk on a CB from Jersey to Omaha. Geeze! > > Wolf Creek Pass is my favorite, but I was sadly disappointed to learn there is about five miles of straight flat road between getting off the hill and finding that feed store in downtown Pagosa Springs. They lied to me! > > But if I ever drive truck, I will have my own chromium plated, fully illuminated, gen-u-ine accessory shift knob. Probably can get one at Iowa 80, the world’s largest truck stop. They have every fully illuminated truck accessory known to man. You aren’t familiar with [skip](http://cbradiomagazine.com/Articles/How%20to%20Shoot%20Skip.htm)? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terrible-songs-that-never-deserved-to-be-hits/807745.md?page=25)