# Territorial Adults! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 28, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382 "2011-11-28T22:50:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/61 "2011-11-30T21:48:26Z")
I grew up in a household where rules governed our actions. There was a correct way to do just about everything and there were consequences when we didn’t follow them. When something came up that didn’t have a rule attached to it, we were expected to determine the proper action. Needless to say, life ran pretty smoothly, with few conflicts. This mind set followed me into the real world. I abide by societal conventions, laws, etc. even when it means I’m inconvenienced. It’s frustrating, but that’s the price we pay to keep society running more or less smoothly and safely. My suggestion is to observe how things run at work and do your best to accommodate. A great technique is to ask for advice when you’ve committed a faux pas. Showing you’re making an effort wins points and the offended person almost always enjoys being regarded as an expert. It doesn’t hurt to subtly remind them you’re new and to take it easy with you, as well. With regard to the parking issue, talk to your boss and say it makes you uncomfortable to break the law and potentially put the business in trouble. Ask what they recommend instead and/or say you’ll do your best to park legally. That way you’re on record as a concerned straight shooter-- almost always a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/62 "2011-12-01T00:09:34Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > Haha no! To care if it’s illegal or not, maybe. I’m still puzzled by your stance that rich people are somehow immune to legal consequences. I mean, shit, even Bernie Madoff got his comeuppance. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/63 "2011-12-01T00:23:27Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I’m still puzzled by your stance that rich people are somehow immune to legal consequences. I mean, shit, even Bernie Madoff got his comeuppance. Yeah, since he screwed Elie Wiesel, I’m surprised that Mossad hasn’t seen that he had an accident in prison. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/64 "2011-12-01T00:32:28Z")
I see delivery drivers double parking on a constant basis in New York, Chicago, San Francisco and my home street where there is not enough room. I never worry about it, ti slightly irritates me, and it part of the not-well-planned-out infrastructure that we have. I don’t know what the OP is delivering, but if I see a marked delivery vehicle double parked while they run something in, and I can go around - I go around. No big deal. The stuff back at the office says to me that you haven’t learned the “unwritten” rules of the office. These include that people do settle into routines, and when new people arrive it can be hard to figure out those routines. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/65 "2011-12-01T00:53:00Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I find this questionable. People who are poor and young are usually the ones who are most likely to learn about the consequences of breaking the laws and/or unspoken social mores. It’s people who are rich and privileged who can get away with ignoring these things. Yeah, no kidding. I lived in [this city](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence,_Massachusetts) until I was ten, and if any doper knows it, they can tell you bad things about it. But no one parked on the wrong side of the street despite the crushing poverty. Steal your radio, sure, but not the stunt the OP is pulling. Diamonds02, have you ever watched **Cool Hand Luke**? There’s [words of wisdom](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qDt1WDzhmU) for you in it. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/66 "2011-12-01T01:50:32Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > I parked in my boss’s spot today. I didn’t do it on purpose and it’s not reserved for him. I guess he always parks there. There were 5 open spaces near it. I was actually to work on time. He was 35 mins late as usual. I’m an ISO 9001 auditor and I’ll tell you, you can tell how an audit’s going to go by how seriously they take the whole “reserved parking spaces” stuff. If there’s eight reserved parking spaces with carefully lettered signs explaining the rank and position of the person who is permitted to grace the spot with their holy vehicle, they’re liars and fools. If there are no signs, and the boss’s attitude is that he’ll get the best spot only if/because he’s the first one in, they’ll have a great quality system. ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/67 "2011-12-01T02:13:48Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > It’s illegal to drive above speed limits but cops can exceed it to respond to incidents. It’s in their job description. Do people get mad at cops for speeding? > > This conversation has taken an interesting turn. So it is okay for people to get mad at some workers “breaking laws” on the job, and not others? While I haven’t read past this post I feel like we may be seeing part of the problem here. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/68 "2011-12-01T03:20:52Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I’m still puzzled by your stance that rich people are somehow immune to legal consequences. I mean, shit, even Bernie Madoff got his comeuppance. A sidetrack but the rumors are Bernie Madoff made a deal to avoid worse possibilities. Madoff’s sons were executives in his company. Many people find it unlikely they were unaware of the financial crimes being perpetrated by the company and their father. But part of Madoff’s plea bargain was he took sole responsibility and stated that his sons were unaware of his illegal activites. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/69 "2011-12-01T05:18:47Z")
Am I the only one who thinks the instructions from the boss were something like this… “our insurance company tells us that most accidents for delivery drivers happen while backing up . Therefore we don’t want you pulling into driveways or loading docks… simply pull to the curb in front of your delivery location, turn on your flashers and make the delivery.” The boss and most reasonable people would assume the “pull to the curb” means doing so on the correct side of the street in the direction of the flow of traffic. If you say you clarified this policy, did you clarify you were crossing traffic and parking against the flow of traffic? You say 6-10 people honk at you each day doing that. If I came up behind a delivery vehicle in my lane I would wait and cautiously move around it when possible. If I came up in front of one facing me in my lane I would honk and get pissed. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/70 "2011-12-01T05:24:59Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > Am I the only one who thinks the instructions from the boss were something like this… “our insurance company tells us that most accidents for delivery drivers happen while backing up . Therefore we don’t want you pulling into driveways or loading docks… simply pull to the curb in front of your delivery location, turn on your flashers and make the delivery.” Actually, I’m one that thinks the conversations with the boss are not being accurately reported. ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/71 "2011-12-01T05:54:03Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > Filler **What Country Are You Posting From!** People have asked you that repeatedly and you haven’t answered. It makes a big difference in interpreting your OP, because people in the UK and Japan drive on the left side of the road. ---
**Author:** ![Diamonds02](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Diamonds02](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diamonds02)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/72 "2011-12-01T06:56:37Z")
US! Kansas City! I’m rarely honked at, I just noticed they are visually displeased. Now, we do most of our deliveries before morning rush. It is when I’m running behind I meet drivers. Could this be a factor? Also, while this is definately no clear rule about this, we are informally encouraged to roll through stop signs. This, I do not do, eventhough it’s in the overnight hours. I’m not sure what I’m saying is considered as SO outlandish. Does the timing factor I now mentioned, clear up anything? ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/73 "2011-12-01T07:02:22Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > I’m not sure what I’m saying is considered as SO outlandish. It’s outlandish that you don’t realize YOU, _personally_, will be ticketed for breaking the laws your employer is allegedly encouraging you to break. If your boss really says you should be doing these illegal things, make it clear to him that you’ll only do them if he’s willing to pay for the tickets you accrue in the meantime. Hint: he’s not. How can anyone be so naive? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/74 "2011-12-01T14:32:00Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > I’m not sure what I’m saying is considered as SO outlandish. Does the timing factor I now mentioned, clear up anything? Are you for real? ---
**Author:** ![Diamonds02](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Diamonds02](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diamonds02)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/75 "2011-12-01T15:41:50Z")
I’m the type of person who’s missing a part of the human brain that says “this is wrong!” or “this is inappropriate”. I mean, except for serious shit, of course. Probably due to various environments and maybe an individual personality difference. It’s the way I am and I can’t help it, and have learned to embrace it. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/76 "2011-12-01T15:49:36Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > I’m the type of person who’s missing a part of the human brain that says “this is wrong!” or “this is inappropriate”. I mean, except for serious shit, of course. Probably due to various environments and maybe an individual personality difference. It’s the way I am and I can’t help it, and have learned to embrace it. Don’t embrace it. Try to change. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/77 "2011-12-01T17:27:47Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > US! Kansas City! > > I’m rarely honked at, I just noticed they are visually displeased. > > Now, we do most of our deliveries before morning rush. It is when I’m running behind I meet drivers. Could this be a factor? Also, while this is definately no clear rule about this, we are informally encouraged to roll through stop signs. This, I do not do, eventhough it’s in the overnight hours. I’m not sure what I’m saying is considered as SO outlandish. Does the timing factor I now mentioned, clear up anything? No, why would the time make any difference, as traffic laws are in enforcement 24/7. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, you’re still breaking the law. Good for you for not rolling through stop signs, at least. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/78 "2011-12-01T17:36:19Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > I am getting into constant confilcts (usually with men) about parking in certain places… I really don’t know what this is about, I can only try to imagine. If there are some unoffical rules, a system in place that others are accustomed to, and your actions go against the grain, then I’m thinking it would behoove you to learn the rules/system. It’s also possible these complainers are being jerks, but I have no way to know. > [@](#): > > …spending too much time loading things into my vehicle… If you’re slower than most of the others, and it causes them to wait when they don’t want to, I can understand that they might get annoyed. Perhaps see if you can improve your loading routine so that it’s more efficient and takes less time. > [@](#): > > …using the wrong restroom…There’s no signs on the restrooms… Again, it’s hard to know what this is about. If the restrooms are single-person unisex, I would think they’re to be used by whoever needs them at the time. However, if there’s an unwritten understanding that a certain one is for women while another is for men, or one is for office staff while another is for drivers, then using the “wrong” one could upset people who are used to how it’s usually done. I’m inclined to think it’s a silly complaint, but I don’t know the details. > [@](#): > > When I’m delivering stuff to houses and businesses, we are obviously required to pull over and turn on our blinkers. This makes perfect sense to me. Delivery drivers (of all sorts of vehicles) do this routinely. > [@](#): > > When I’m parked on the left side on the road… Now this doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t recall seeing delivery drivers pull over to the wrong side of the road, and I too am in Kansas City. Is this something your company instructs/encourages you to do, or is it your own idea? I can see how it would be disorienting and unnerving to other drivers on the street. I’m thinking surely the extra ten steps to park on the right side and walk across the street couldn’t be much of a burden, and could potentially eliminate a lot of confusion and dismay. This is the one item you’ve mentioned where, in my opinion, you’re clearly in the wrong. > [@](#): > > …I’d say 6/10 times a driver honks at me to move, gestures that they need to pass, and sometimes they just sit there and wait until I’m done delivering. And this is while the other side of the road is completely clear and passable! This seems odd, as drivers routinely pass parked delivery vehicles. My best guess is that seeing your vehicle facing them in their lane is daunting and they’re not sure what they should do. It strikes me as rather ridiculous, though, that they don’t figure it out after a moment. Still, if it mainly (or only) occurs when you’re parked on the left side of the street, I’d say that parking on the right side is obviously the better thing to do. > [@](#): > > Now, we do most of our deliveries before morning rush. It is when I’m running behind I meet drivers. Could this be a factor? Sure. People in morning rush tend to be very put out by anything that slows them down. > [@](#): > > Also, while this is definately no clear rule about this, we are informally encouraged to roll through stop signs. This, I do not do, eventhough it’s in the overnight hours. Good for you. I wouldn’t do it either. The police normally give leeway to delivery vehicles to temporarily block a lane when parked to make a delivery. I doubt they’d be as lenient about not stopping properly. How much time does the roll-through save over a full stop – three seconds? It sounds like a silly thing for management to propound. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/79 "2011-12-01T17:36:38Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > It’s the way I am and I can’t help it, and have learned to embrace it. As long as you recognize that most other people won’t embrace it. You certainly can help it, you choose not to. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382/80 "2011-12-01T17:41:45Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > I’m the type of person who’s missing a part of the human brain that says “this is wrong!” or “this is inappropriate”. I mean, except for serious shit, of course. Probably due to various environments and maybe an individual personality difference. It’s the way I am and I can’t help it, and have learned to embrace it. Are you whoosing us? 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/territorial-adults/604382.md?page=5)