# Test your BIBLE knowledge
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 11, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434 "2001-01-11T00:47:01Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/1 "2001-01-11T00:47:01Z")
How knowledgable are you about the new testement? **Crack’d Off** sent me this [quiz.](http://bettybowers.com/bible.html)
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### Author:  [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/2 "2001-01-11T01:03:03Z")
Pretty funny, although I do wonder about its accuracy. Selective quoting and vague interpretations are not an art, after all.
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### Author:  [@St.Attila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Attila)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/3 "2001-01-11T02:44:43Z")
When I read the Bible, there were parts that just made me laugh.
> [@](#):
>
> _Deuteronomy 25:11-12 (New International Version)_
> \*\*If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity. \*\*
Did this really happen so often that they had to make a law for it?
Other stuff just makes me shake my head:
> [@](#):
>
> _Genesis 19:5-8 (New International Version)_
> \*\*They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.”
>
> Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”
> \*\*
Nice guy, that Lot. Same chapter, we find Lot has escaped into the hills with his daughters (his wife was turned into a pillar of salt). His daughters get bored, so they get the old man drunk and have sex with him. I can’t even get this stuff on cable, and I’m supposed to read it to my kids?
How about great Kind David, who saw Bathsheba naked, had her brought to his palace, and boinked her, knowing she was married to Uriah, a soldier in his army. She gets pregnant, so he tries to get Uriah home to sleep with his wife so no one will suspect. Uriah’s a good soldier, though, and stays on the job, so David has him put on the front lines so he’ll be killed (2 Samuel 11).
Then there’s God killing every first-born Egyptian son because Pharaoh wouldn’t let the Jews go. Actually, Pharaoh was ready to let them go after a couple of plagues, but God made him change his mind so He could show off some more miracles (Exodus 10). And this wonderful killing of the innocent Egyptian boys while the Jewish boys were spared, is celebrated every year as Passover. Nice.
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### Author:  [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/4 "2001-01-11T03:38:04Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by St. Attila \*
> \*\*When I read the Bible, there were parts that just made me laugh.
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > _Deuteronomy 25:11-12 (New International Version)_
> > \*\*If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity. \*\*
>
> Did this really happen so often that they had to make a law for it?
\*\*
I suppose so. However, the Talmud makes it perfectly clear that this penalty was never literally carried out. A monetary penalty was imposed instead.
\*\*
> [@](#):
>
> Other stuff just makes me shake my head:
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > _Genesis 19:5-8 (New International Version)_
> > \*\*They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.”
> >
> > Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”
> > \*\*
>
> Nice guy, that Lot. Same chapter, we find Lot has escaped into the hills with his daughters (his wife was turned into a pillar of salt). His daughters get bored, so they get the old man drunk and have sex with him. I can’t even get this stuff on cable, and I’m supposed to read it to my kids?
> \*\*
Well, Lot was never held up as a character to emulate.
As for his daughters, the text clearly states that they didn’t “get bored.” They thought that they were the last people left on earth. As such, in order to keep humanity alive, they did what needed to be done.
\*\*
> [@](#):
>
> How about great Kind David, who saw Bathsheba naked, had her brought to his palace, and boinked her, knowing she was married to Uriah, a soldier in his army. She gets pregnant, so he tries to get Uriah home to sleep with his wife so no one will suspect. Uriah’s a good soldier, though, and stays on the job, so David has him put on the front lines so he’ll be killed (2 Samuel 11).
> \*\*
And King David is criticized for this in the bible.
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> Then there’s God killing every first-born Egyptian son because Pharaoh wouldn’t let the Jews go. Actually, Pharaoh was ready to let them go after a couple of plagues, but God made him change his mind so He could show off some more miracles (Exodus 10). And this wonderful killing of the innocent Egyptian boys while the Jewish boys were spared, is celebrated every year as Passover. Nice. \*\*
Well, if you believe that God is just then the punishment was deserved. If you don’t believe in God, then you don’t believe in the story anyway.
As for Pharroh’s decision, there is an explanation that is commonly used in Jewish commentaries.
It is uniformly asked how Pharroh could be punished for his actions when his free will was seemingly taken from him. It is answered that in fact his free will was not taken from him, but restored to him. Allow me to illustrate:
If I say to you “Give me your money,” you have free will to do as I say or ignore me. Suppose you ignore me. I then proceed to hit you and repeat my demand. You again refuse. I hit you again. After repeated beatings, you finally give in and give me your money. Did you give it to me of your free will? No, I beat you into it! The same thing happened with Pharroh. God gave him the ability to “shrug off” the plauges so as to allow him to make a decision of his own free will.
Zev Steinhardt
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### Author:  [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/5 "2001-01-11T06:55:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Coldfire \*
> \*\*Pretty funny, although I do wonder about its accuracy. Selective quoting and vague interpretations are not an art, after all. \*\*
As to be expected, Coldie. Betty Bowers is affiliated with Landover Baptist.
–Tim
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### Author:  [@Danielinthewolvesden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danielinthewolvesden)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/6 "2001-01-11T07:14:43Z")
There is no quiz. It is simply a link to get you to upload a program. Without the program, the ‘quiz’ is blank.
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### Author:  [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/7 "2001-01-11T07:22:11Z")
Doh… Sorry **Daniel** you probably wouldn’t like the quiz anyway. It’s not your type of humor.
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### Author:  [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/8 "2001-01-11T11:29:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Danielinthewolvesden \*
> \*\*There is no quiz. It is simply a link to get you to upload a program. Without the program, the ‘quiz’ is blank. \*\*
You mean _download_ **ShockWave Flash**? Actually, that’s a pretty common plug-in, Daniel. Also, it is free. I doubt the object of the site is to promote any MacroMedia software.
But as **oldscratch** said: it’s probably less funny for Christians.
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### Author:  [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/9 "2001-01-11T11:36:04Z")
I’ve **got** Flash and it won’t work for me. Comes up with an error message: \* A plugin for the mime type text/plain was not found.\* Uh, kids, **plain text** should not need a plugin. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@St.Attila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Attila)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/10 "2001-01-11T17:03:59Z")
**flodnak** :
Sounds like your mime types are hooped.
**Zev** :
> [@](#):
>
> And King David is criticized for this in the bible.
Criticized? The nut grabber had her hands cut off! Oh, okay, she ended up getting fined, according to the Talmud.
BTW, I don’t recall ever seeing the Talmud in bookstores. Is it available (in English), or is it not meant for general consumption? The explanation of God giving Pharaoh free will is quite clever; I’d like to read more. I’m particularly interested in what the Talmud’s view is on the Israelite genocide of the Canaanites.
> [@](#):
>
> Well, if you believe that God is just then the punishment was deserved. If you don’t believe in God, then you don’t believe in the story anyway.
For me, the point is not so much that I don’t believe in the story, but that **someone** does. I’m interested in people’s beliefs, and while I might poke fun on occassion, I never mean to be malicious.
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### Author:  [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/11 "2001-01-11T17:56:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by St. Attila \*
> \*\*
>
> Criticized? The nut grabber had her hands cut off! Oh, okay, she ended up getting fined, according to the Talmud.
\*\*
I think you’re confusing the two topics. The “nut grabber” has nothing to do with David. And, yes, David was criticized. One place is in the very next chapter.
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> BTW, I don’t recall ever seeing the Talmud in bookstores. Is it available (in English), or is it not meant for general consumption?
\*\*
They are available. However, the Talmud is not a single book; you can find it in English in any decently stocked Judaica store.
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> The explanation of God giving Pharaoh free will is quite clever; I’d like to read more. I’m particularly interested in what the Talmud’s view is on the Israelite genocide of the Canaanites.
\*\*
You don’t need to go to the Talmud for that. The text of the bible states that they engaged in various sins. In any event, the Talmud relates that the Cannanites had the option of leaving (one of them did, according to the Talmud). In addition, it is clear from the text that the Jews did not end up committing genocide. Many of the Cannanites continued living in the land among the Jews.
Zev Steinhardt
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### Author:  [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/12 "2001-01-11T18:27:33Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Well, Lot was never held up as a character to emulate.
Zev,
Lot was the ONLY “righteous” man that could be found in the search God ordered. It might be that he KNEW, being a resident of Sodom, that the crowd was ONLY interested in his two male guests, and he would be “safe” in offering up his own daughters. Pretty scummy thing to do for a “righteous” man.
O
* * *
vidi vici veni!
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### Author:  [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/13 "2001-01-11T19:09:45Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Oicu812 \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > Well, Lot was never held up as a character to emulate.
>
> Zev,
> Lot was the ONLY “righteous” man that could be found in the search God ordered. It might be that he KNEW, being a resident of Sodom, that the crowd was ONLY interested in his two male guests, and he would be “safe” in offering up his own daughters. Pretty scummy thing to do for a “righteous” man.
> \*\*
I’m afraid you may have a few things wrong, **Oicu812**.
Firstly, God didn’t order the search… it was a bargaining tool initiated by Abraham.
Secondly, there is no place in Genesis where it says that Lot was righteous. MHO is that he was saved because of his kinship to Abraham, rather than through any personal merit.
Thirdly, I agree with you that was Lot did (in offering his daughters) is a pretty scummy thing to do. But there are lots of things that people in the Bible (even those that are held up as good examples) do. That doesn’t mean that everything they do is to be emulated or admired.
Zev Steinhardt
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### Author:  [@St.Attila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Attila)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/14 "2001-01-11T19:10:20Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by **zev\_steinhardt** \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by St. Attila \*
> > \*\*Criticized? The nut grabber had her hands cut off! Oh, okay, she ended up getting fined, according to the Talmud.
>
> \*\*
> I think you’re confusing the two topics. The “nut grabber” has nothing to do with David. And, yes, David was criticized. One place is in the very next chapter.\*\*
Actually, I was trying to point out that getting criticized is a pretty tame punishment compared to what was supposed to happen to a nut grabber.
> [@](#):
>
> **it is clear from the text that the Jews did not end up committing genocide. Many of the Cannanites continued living in the land among the Jews.**
Only for lack of trying. God wanted everyone wiped out, but the Israelites got tired of all the carnage and just wanted to settle down. Just one of many disappointments God faced with His chosen people.
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### Author:  [@St.Attila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Attila)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/15 "2001-01-11T19:21:10Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Oicu812 \*
> **Lot was the ONLY “righteous” man that could be found in the search God ordered.**
Actually, Abraham nagged God into it after a pancake breakfast (Genesis 18).
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### Author:  [@St.Attila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Attila)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/16 "2001-01-11T19:28:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by zev\_steinhardt \*
> Secondly, there is no place in Genesis where it says that Lot was righteous. MHO is that he was saved because of his kinship to Abraham, rather than through any personal merit.
> \*\*
But in Abraham’s nagging, it’s clearly implied that Abraham thinks Lot is righteous.
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### Author:  [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/17 "2001-01-11T19:42:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by St. Attila \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by zev\_steinhardt \*
> > Secondly, there is no place in Genesis where it says that Lot was righteous. MHO is that he was saved because of his kinship to Abraham, rather than through any personal merit.
> > \*\*
>
> But in Abraham’s nagging, it’s clearly implied that Abraham thinks Lot is righteous. \*\*
Where is this implied? I’ve been over that chapter hundreds (without exaggeration) of times. I haven’t seen any implication that Abraham is talking about Lot in his conversation. Furthermore, if Lot was implied, wouldn’t Abraham bargain all the way down to one, since, according to you, he KNEW there was at least one righteous person (Lot himself) in the city.
[aside]
I know we’re breaking the rules by having a serious discussion in MPSIMS. Let’s hope the mods don’t throw us out becuase of it. 🙂
[/aside]
Zev Steinhardt
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### Author:  [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/18 "2001-01-11T20:07:47Z")
And what is the deal with the Ark of the Covenant? This thing killed it’s own priests, flew around wiping out thousands of the enemy, and was extremely dangerous to handle. The laity was ordered to stay quite some distance from it when it was brought onto the battlefield (something close to a half mile) lest the sparks jump out and kill them.
O
* * *
vidi vici veni!
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### Author:  [@St.Attila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Attila)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/19 "2001-01-11T21:00:02Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by zev\_steinhardt \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > But in Abraham’s nagging, it’s clearly implied that Abraham thinks Lot is righteous. \*\*
>
> Where is this implied? I’ve been over that chapter hundreds (without exaggeration) of times. I haven’t seen any implication that Abraham is talking about Lot in his conversation. Furthermore, if Lot was implied, wouldn’t Abraham bargain all the way down to one, since, according to you, he KNEW there was at least one righteous person (Lot himself) in the city.
> \*\*
Abraham was clearly worried about pissing God off, so he stopped at ten; he left God with what he felt was a strong enough implication, namely that if even one righteous person lived in the city, it would be spared.
I don’t see why he would risk annoying God with this argument if it was out of curiousity rather than to spare Lot’s life. But, for that matter, maybe Abraham stopped at ten because he was thinking of Lot’s entire family; after all, the angels told Lot to warn his whole family about the impending destruction.
> [@](#):
>
> **[aside]
> I know we’re breaking the rules by having a serious discussion in MPSIMS. Let’s hope the mods don’t throw us out becuase of it. 🙂
> [/aside]**
Hence my references to God eating pancakes and nut grabbers. I hope that fools them 😉
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### Author:  [@St.Attila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Attila)
#### Post date: [January 11, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/test-your-bible-knowledge/49434/20 "2001-01-11T21:16:32Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Oicu812 \*
> **And what is the deal with the Ark of the Covenant? This thing killed it’s own priests, flew around wiping out thousands of the enemy, and was extremely dangerous to handle.**
I thought it was strictly ballistic.
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