# Testicle debacle **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 4, 2006, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309 "2006-08-04T11:38:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/21 "2006-08-04T22:22:29Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Have a skinny dip with Condoleeza Rice and then get back to me. [/QUOTE] I’m foreseeing sumo-like retraction into my abdomen, not shrinkage. My penis, on the other hand, might well shrink away into invisibility. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/22 "2006-08-04T22:46:35Z")
I once got my finger trapped in one of those beach deckchairs in such a way that the trapped finger prevented me from standing up to release the pressure trapping my finger; furthermore, because I was off-balance, it was an extreme effort just to lift myself up enough to prevent my finger from being badly crushed. If that sort of thing ever happens to my nuts, don’t bother trying to free me; just shoot me in the head. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/23 "2006-08-04T23:00:23Z")
[QUOTE=Excalibre] I’m foreseeing sumo-like retraction into my abdomen, not shrinkage. My penis, on the other hand, might well shrink away into invisibility. [/QUOTE] Should I have said “Ann Coulter” instead? > [@Mangetout](#): > > I once got my finger trapped in one of those beach deckchairs in such a way that the trapped finger prevented me from standing up to release the pressure trapping my finger; furthermore, because I was off-balance, it was an extreme effort just to lift myself up enough to prevent my finger from being badly crushed. I trapped myself in a lawn chair once. I probably wasn’t any older than 5, and was small enough that I could fit through the space between the back and the seat. Lord only knows what possessed me to think this was a good idea, but in the process of doing so the chair was tipped off-balance and folded up right around my midriff. Sprawled face-up on my back as I was, my own weight giving the chair extra folding power and was squeezing the breath out of me. I was thoroughly unable to extricate myself from my idiotic predicament – I probably looked like nothing so much as an overturned turtle – and I had to call out to anyone in the house for help. Well, _gasp_ for help, since I hardly had the breath to make more than pathetic whimpers. Fortunately my pleas were heard and I was rescued from the boy-eating lawn chair. This has nothing to do with my balls, but I thought I’d throw it out there. The anecdote, not my balls, though in retrospect I don’t suppose my balls enjoyed the experice any more than I did. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/24 "2006-08-04T23:18:54Z")
The thing that I find most deeply disturbing about this thread is that the headline writer perhaps thinks “testicle” and “debacle” rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/25 "2006-08-05T02:33:23Z")
[QUOTE=Lord Il Palazzo] I’m not sure why, but this sentence just completely cracked me up. Thanks **Finagle**. [/QUOTE] It reminded me of a dialog on the otherwise very forgetable movie “Event Horizon”, paraphrasing, a rescue space ship aproaches a larger ship, they look for a place to dock and use a giant pincer to get a grip on something: -The captain points to a truss structure: “grab that” -The ship designer: “that´s not a load bearing structure!” CRUNCH! -Skipper: “Now it is” Probably the only good line on the whole thing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/26 "2006-08-05T02:37:00Z")
Ah, he must be that one dude you always see riding the chair back down the mountain at a ski lift. ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/27 "2006-08-05T03:21:07Z")
> [@](#): > > His testicles had shrunk while in the cool sea and slipped through the wooden slats when he sat back down on his wooden deckchair. > > But as he lay in the sun they expanded back to normal size and got stuck between the slats. This part is completely prepostrous. ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/28 "2006-08-05T03:36:08Z")
The chair was _wooden._ He must not have had balls long if he let them dangle carelessly in the Outer Banks of splintery hell. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/29 "2006-08-05T03:36:23Z")
I think the thread title is the best genuine example of a potential band name I have ever seen. Last real band name to catch my eye so instantly was **Zombie Ghost Train** but **Testicle Debacle** or **The Testicle Debacle** would do. ---
**Author:** ![Crescend](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Crescend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crescend)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/30 "2006-08-05T04:59:10Z")
There was an event like this with an up-to-the-minute play-by-play on [Fark.com](http://Fark.com) a few months ago. It was called a “Ballsack Conundrum”. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/31 "2006-08-05T07:54:12Z")
Jeez… don’t they have a “put down a towel FIRST” rule at these Croatian resorts?! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2006, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/32 "2006-08-06T05:01:01Z")
Ya mean Scroation? ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2006, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/33 "2006-08-06T07:47:41Z")
[QUOTE=Mr Bus Guy] Or a picture of Madeline Albright. :eek: [/QUOTE] Bela Abzug and Richard Simmons in a clinch. …sorry 'bout that. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2006, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/34 "2006-08-06T08:05:11Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] Need coffee…I read the title of the OP as Testicle debate. Opened the thread wondering what there could be to debate about them…then realized it was something else entirely. Back to my coffee now… [/QUOTE] Join the club…I read the thread title exactly the same and wondered what the debate was about…and then I read the article and thought, “oh nuts…”. I once knew a guy who had three testicles (really) and his nickname was “tri-ower”, for obvious reasons. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2006, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/35 "2006-08-06T08:07:15Z")
[QUOTE=DMark] Join the club…I read the thread title exactly the same and wondered what the debate was about…and then I read the article and thought, “oh nuts…”. I once knew a guy who had three testicles (really) and his nickname was “tri-ower”, for obvious reasons. [/QUOTE] (oops)…nickname was “ **tri-power** ”… ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2006, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309/36 "2006-08-06T12:11:43Z")
[QUOTE=DMark] I once knew a guy who had three testicles (really) and his nickname was “tri-ower”, for obvious reasons. [/QUOTE] Was it the same guy who was recently on an episode of “Blind Date”? He also had two toes that were webbed together. Yes, as a matter of fact, I _do_ watch too much television. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testicle-debacle/367309.md?page=1)