# Testifying in a divorce trial: upside/downside **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 22, 2016, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testifying-in-a-divorce-trial-upside-downside/758015 "2016-06-22T04:39:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testifying-in-a-divorce-trial-upside-downside/758015/21 "2016-06-22T17:58:25Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > That seems to fit, given what little I know. Thanks for stepping through that scenario. > > Edited to add: so how am I helpful in this situation? You tell the truth if you’re called and that’s that. I was once supposed to testify for a father whose ex-wife was trying to end his paternal rights because he was gay. I sat around in the hallway all day. The judge said “He’s moved on; you should as well. Case dismissed.” If it’s a case of him not paying child support before the child turns 18, he’s in contempt and will be dealt with without you. If it’s a case of not supporting a child after the age of 18, too bad dad lied or changed his mind, but he did and that’s that. Just make sure your friend’s lawyer issues you a subpoena so it doesn’t count against your sick leave or vacation. ---
**Author:** ![Alley\_Dweller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alley_dweller/32/430_2.png) [@Alley\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alley_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testifying-in-a-divorce-trial-upside-downside/758015/22 "2016-06-22T19:00:13Z")
Are you sure your friend has an attorney for this particular hearing? It really sounds like she is trying to do this _pro se_. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testifying-in-a-divorce-trial-upside-downside/758015/23 "2016-06-22T20:48:01Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > Friend has asked me to testify to the fact that Father said he’d always take care of the mother and child (a conversation I had over 10 years ago with him) With all due respect to your friend, the Father did more than just say something to you, they signed legal documents that were filed in court in the original divorce proceedings. What you may or may not have heard carry nearly no weight. What is important is what the Father agreed to - and whether they acted in accordance with the agreement, yah? I would suspect that your friend’s attorney, and moreso the judge would not find your memory of a conversation relevant enough to waste the courts time. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testifying-in-a-divorce-trial-upside-downside/758015/24 "2016-06-22T21:05:48Z")
With all due respect, they settled their divorce in court, but made a private financial agreement. So no, actually it WASN’T settled and he DIDN’T sign any papers concerning their monetary arrangements. And now, these years later, they disagree on what was agreed to. Got it? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testifying-in-a-divorce-trial-upside-downside/758015/25 "2016-06-22T21:24:39Z")
> [@Alley\_Dweller](#): > > Are you sure your friend has an attorney for this particular hearing? It really sounds like she is trying to do this _pro se_. If there is an attorney, I’d hope that said attorney would at least find out what the OP was going to say in court, and see how various questions are answered. Am I right? Otherwise, not much of an attorney. ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testifying-in-a-divorce-trial-upside-downside/758015/26 "2016-06-22T21:31:29Z")
An oral private financial agreement would be worth about as much as the paper it’s not written on. Anyway, I don’t see why it would come up in the context of appealing being held in contempt. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testifying-in-a-divorce-trial-upside-downside/758015/27 "2016-06-22T21:34:46Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > With all due respect to your friend, the Father did more than just say something to you, they signed legal documents that were filed in court in the original divorce proceedings. What you may or may not have heard carry nearly no weight. What is important is what the Father agreed to - and whether they acted in accordance with the agreement, yah? > > I would suspect that your friend’s attorney, and moreso the judge would not find your memory of a conversation relevant enough to waste the courts time. I have to agree with this. The only issue before the court will be the decree and whether is was lived up to. Father’s words a decade ago will not be relevant. I doubt the judge will allow it. I doubt it would get that far. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testifying-in-a-divorce-trial-upside-downside/758015/28 "2016-06-22T22:29:30Z")
Sounds like you guys haven’t spent a whole lot of time in family court. Often, anything goes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/testifying-in-a-divorce-trial-upside-downside/758015.md?page=1)