# Texas Assholes, California Freaks. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 16, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273 "2005-08-16T14:54:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/21 "2005-08-16T16:08:50Z")
Man, this thread’s aura is all messed up. You dudes need to chill, before your chakras get all out of alignment. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/22 "2005-08-16T16:13:24Z")
I’m fine as long as alla you fuckers stay out of New England. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/23 "2005-08-16T16:14:51Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Man, this thread’s aura is all messed up. You dudes need to chill, before your chakras get all out of alignment. That’s a bit much even for a Californian. I think you’re really living in Sedona, Arizona. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/24 "2005-08-16T16:19:28Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Man, this thread’s aura is all messed up. You dudes need to chill, before your chakras get all out of alignment. No, no, no. It’s obviously a _feng shui_ problem. The sentences run east/west, letting in the bad spirits. We need them to run north/south so the natural \*chi \*can flow to balance the \*yin \*and _yang_ of the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/25 "2005-08-16T16:22:21Z")
> [@John Mace](#): > > No, no, no. It’s obviously a _feng shui_ problem. The sentences run east/west, letting in the bad spirits. We need them to run north/south so the natural \*chi \*can flow to balance the \*yin \*and _yang_ of the thread. I tipped my monitor on its side but it hasn’t seemed to help. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/26 "2005-08-16T16:25:26Z")
People, people, people, I’m so disappointed! Florida doesn’t even get a mention? The state that gave us Jeb Bush and Terry Schiavo and Elian Gonzales? The laughingstock that was the 2000 election. They suck up more federal disaster money on yearly hurricanes than entire other time zones. I’m afraid of getting carjacked in Miami and I’m from Detroit! Everything’s in the 80s, the humidity, the senior citizens, the average IQs, due thanks to George Carlin. Ok, so there’s Mouseville and spring break beaches and rockets and stuff, but any state with it’s own fark tag deserves mention dammit! ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/27 "2005-08-16T16:26:54Z")
> [@Queen Tonya](#): > > Florida doesn’t even get a mention? Florida: America’s wang. There, happy now? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/28 "2005-08-16T16:31:19Z")
> [@Queen Tonya](#): > > People, people, people, I’m so disappointed! > > Florida doesn’t even get a mention? Sorry, didn’t think you’d be up yet. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/29 "2005-08-16T16:32:53Z")
If any of you fuckers say anything about _les detritus blancs_ I’m gonna get real pissed. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/30 "2005-08-16T16:39:12Z")
It’s at times like these that I’m happy I live in Las Vegas. We don’t care where y’all come from, as long as ya got money we can take. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/31 "2005-08-16T16:44:01Z")
Fat guys who are circumcised, smoking, in their SUVs, running over cats. What’s up with that? Oh, and they’re probably Republicans. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/32 "2005-08-16T17:40:12Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > I tipped my monitor on its side but it hasn’t seemed to help. I tipped _my_ monitor on its side, but all the words ran off onto my desktop. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/33 "2005-08-16T17:42:22Z")
Nurse Carmen, I hereby express my dying love for you. Because I just got through being pissy about getting painted as a gas guzzling American, and when I saw this fucking thread title, I got irritated that AGAIN Californians were going to be given a bum rap. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/34 "2005-08-16T17:43:02Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > If any of you fuckers say anything about _les detritus blancs_ I’m gonna get real pissed. I’m pretty sure someone mentioned _les Québecois_ (French-Canadians) above. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/35 "2005-08-16T17:44:23Z")
Or undying love, if you prefer. Good grief! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/36 "2005-08-16T17:44:48Z")
Massachusetts: At least we’re not Cow Hampshire. This message brought to you by a pointy-headed effete intellectual snob loonie liberal Birkenstock-wearing tree-hugger. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/37 "2005-08-16T17:57:01Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Massachusetts: At least we’re not Cow Hampshire. > > This message brought to you by a pointy-headed effete intellectual snob loonie liberal Birkenstock-wearing tree-hugger. Heh. Don’t blame you, you voted for McGovern? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/38 "2005-08-16T18:03:51Z")
Wait- I’m from the part of California that all the Okies (and other rednecks) came to during the Dust Bowl. Does that mean I get the best of both worlds? I get to eat sprouts and blow up SUVs while sticking the needle in people and shooting protesters? I get to listen to new age, zen music AND Toby Keith? FUCKING SWEET! ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/39 "2005-08-16T18:07:56Z")
It’s true. We all love NASCAR in the south. Sckew-doggie! ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/40 "2005-08-16T18:09:48Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > It’s true. We all love NASCAR in the south. > > Sckew-doggie! Boogity, Boogity, Boogity! Let’s go racing boys! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273.md?page=3)