# Texas Assholes, California Freaks. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 16, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273 "2005-08-16T14:54:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/61 "2005-08-16T22:24:12Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Eh. So what? Virginians have been wetting themselves for _years_. 😃 And when the Virginians wet themselves? Some not unsubstantial amount of that flows down to Tennessee. Which explains why Tennessee Orange is unnaturally yellow. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/62 "2005-08-17T04:26:32Z")
Well, I’ve lived in both places, and I’m here to tell you the OP is dead wrong. In California I was an asshole, and in Texas I’m a freak. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/63 "2005-08-17T05:25:01Z")
Damn, you were an asshole by California standards? ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/64 "2005-08-17T08:54:59Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > Don’t forget the Nevadans chain-smoking between puffs off of their oxygen tanks while parked in their wheelchair at the video slot machine all day. Sorry, those are Floridians vacationing in Nevada because Atlantic City is too humid this time of year. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/65 "2005-08-17T12:24:19Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > I’m pretty sure someone mentioned _les QuĂ©becois_ (French-Canadians) above. Canadians are white trash? Hoooeeee! My side just got **way** bigger! ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/66 "2005-08-17T12:39:49Z")
**Nebraska** has the Internets now? Huh. Look at my location. Just look at it. Yeah, you, _cabron_! We see things on a single subway ride from Manhattan that would make General Patton curl up into a little sobbing ball. And I grew up here in the Seventies, when things were downright nasty. But I can’t help but remember the constant refrain of ‘Florida, Texas, Florida, Texas’ in that thread where we were voting states out of the Union. Hee hee. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/67 "2005-08-17T13:09:23Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > Damn, you were an asshole by California standards? No shit, that’s scary. That’s like someone from Massachusetts calling you a shitty driver. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/68 "2005-08-17T13:10:27Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > No shit, that’s scary. That’s like someone from Massachusetts calling you a shitty driver. Or someone from TX telling you that your truck is just too damn big. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/69 "2005-08-17T14:21:58Z")
> [@Greathouse](#): > > Or someone from TX telling you that your truck is just too damn big. Or someone from North Carolina saying you smoke too much. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/70 "2005-08-17T14:43:31Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Canadians are white trash? Hoooeeee! My side just got **way** bigger! No, no, just the _French_-Canadians. And, being of French descent, this means that if your side gets in a bind, the first thing they’re going to do is surrender. And eat cheese. Actually, they’ll eat cheese anyway, whether or not you’re in a bind. Now that I think of it, if you eat too much cheese, you’re going to be in a bind anyway. So you may as well surrender now. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/71 "2005-08-17T15:44:51Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Man, it gives me the willies when someone uses the words “kick” and “wang” in the same sentance. Course, I used to like in Georgia so you’d kinda expect that. Just remember, if Florida is America’s wang, that makes Georgia America’s soft underbelly. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/72 "2005-08-17T16:34:30Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > No, no, just the _French_-Canadians. And, being of French descent, this means that if your side gets in a bind, the first thing they’re going to do is surrender. And eat cheese 
curds with fries in gravy. And break out the beer and cigs, and maybe start flirting amongst yaselves. Hey, could be worse. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/73 "2005-08-17T16:35:55Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > Just remember, if Florida is America’s wang, that makes Georgia America’s soft underbelly. I though that would have made Georgia and Alabama the nation’s testes. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/74 "2005-08-17T16:39:47Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > Just remember, if Florida is America’s wang, that makes Georgia America’s soft underbelly. **Evil Captor** , while reading this I was imagining the voice of Bruce Willis’ girlfriend from _Pulp Fiction_. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Long\_Road](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@The\_Long\_Road](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Long_Road)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/75 "2005-08-17T16:43:33Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > Or someone from North Carolina saying you smoke too much. Or someone from Louisiana saying you drink too much ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/76 "2005-08-17T16:51:16Z")
> [@The Long Road](#): > > Or someone from Louisiana saying you drink too much Or someone from Wisconsin saying your ass is to big. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/77 "2005-08-17T16:57:06Z")
Massachusetts: Birthplace of the 9/11 Attacks ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/78 "2005-08-17T16:58:33Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Or someone from Wisconsin saying your ass is to big. Or someone from Wyoming saying your girlfriend is ugly. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/79 "2005-08-20T03:39:32Z")
Welcome to Utah. Please turn your clocks back 75 years. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/80 "2005-08-20T05:43:43Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > Or someone from Wyoming saying your girlfriend is ugly. If you’re uglier than a sheep, you got problems. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273.md?page=5)