# Texas Assholes, California Freaks. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 16, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273 "2005-08-16T14:54:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/81 "2005-08-20T05:56:11Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Jersey attitude? What fuckin’ Jersey attitude? I got ya fuckin’ Jersey attitude right fuckin’ here! :: grabs package :: There’s no such thing as a Jersey attitude. Now a JOISEY attitude, fa-get-about-it. You know were all in the Mafia anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/82 "2005-08-20T06:34:52Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > It doesn’t matter where all of y’all are. All of y’all are not Colorado. All of your states suck. You misspelled **Arizona**. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/83 "2005-08-20T17:41:13Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > Don’t forget the Nevadans chain-smoking between puffs off of their oxygen tanks while parked in their wheelchair at the video slot machine all day. That’s actually a pretty good description of my mother. 😃 who fortunately does not have cyberspace access . . . ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/84 "2005-08-20T18:56:29Z")
All you breeders need to shut the fuck up. I can’t concentrate on advancing the gay agenda and facilitating the end of known civilization. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/85 "2005-08-20T20:24:12Z")
> [@Greathouse](#): > > I though that would have made Georgia and Alabama the nation’s testes. Either way, it still makes Texas the asshole of America. > [@ShibbOleth](#): > > And when the Virginians wet themselves? Some not unsubstantial amount of that flows down to Tennessee. Which explains why Tennessee Orange is unnaturally yellow. :eek: I’m going to have to find your mailbox and pee in it! ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/86 "2005-08-20T23:42:20Z")
Florida is nothing more than Gods waiting room. ---
**Author:** ![liberty3701](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@liberty3701](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liberty3701)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/87 "2005-08-20T23:55:41Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > Either way, it still makes Texas the asshole of America. and Jersey the armpit ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/88 "2005-08-21T04:03:40Z")
They’ve changed the name of Candlestick Park to _Monster_ Park. The choice speaks for itself. > [@](#): > > **Yeticus Rex** : We are all freaky assholes who get a kick out of looking at our wangs for amusement. I assure you, the idea has never occured to me even once in six decades. Please do not eliminate me from consideration as a freaky asshole nonetheless. Anyone in Jersey notice in the paper that Princeton is second rate _again_? ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/89 "2005-08-21T05:28:40Z")
I may be willing to concede Texas is merely the taint of America, whereas New Mexico becomes elevated to asshole/grundle status. Semantics, really. ---
**Author:** ![snailboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/97f17d/32.png) [@snailboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snailboy)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/90 "2005-08-21T06:02:54Z")
We Texans are offended by the word asshole. We prefer the term _jackass_. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/91 "2005-08-21T18:01:44Z")
Convicted sex offenders and hurricanes, welcome to Florida. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/92 "2005-08-21T18:42:06Z")
Someone from Indiana saying your state is ugly. Someone from Wisconsin saying you drink too much beer. Someone from Kentucky saying anything intelligent. Someone from West Virginia saying you look like your brother. Someone from Ohio says you’re are too conservative. Someone from New York says you’re are too aggressive. Someone from Maine saying, “Y’all come back now, hear?”. Someone from Massachusetts not honking their horn. Someone poor from Rhode Island. Someone from Geogia calling you a redneck. Someone from Alabama calls you a racist. Someone from Arkanas that has all their teeth. Someone from Texas who isn’t tougher than you. Someone from New Mexico with European ancestors. Someone from Arizona without a tan. Someone from southern California, that isn’t like so, all, well, you know. Someone from northern California who vacations in San Diego. Someone from Oregon that doesn’t visit Washington because it rains too much up there. Someone from Washington that’s never smoked dope. Someone from Montana that’s not a cowboy or a movie star. Someone from Colorado without an attitude. Someone from Wyoming that doesn’t own a horse. Someone from Utah with a drinking problem and just one wife. Someone from Nevada that doesn’t have at least one piece of silver clothing. Someone from North Dakota says your state is too cold in the winter. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/93 "2005-08-22T00:38:54Z")
> [@ccwaterback](#): > > Someone from Colorado without an attitude. Dude, this is just fucking stupid. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/94 "2005-08-22T17:39:55Z")
Jus’ a li’l ol’ typo. He meant **altitude** , not attitude. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/95 "2005-08-22T17:44:04Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Dude, this is just fucking stupid. As are most (if not all) of these generalizations if not meant as a joke. Except for the New Jersey ones, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273/96 "2005-08-22T17:49:28Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > Jus’ a li’l ol’ typo. He meant **altitude** , not attitude. “Welcome to the Mile High City — and I really am!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-assholes-california-freaks/317273.md?page=4)