# Texas Democrats: you've gotta be fucking kiddin me **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 13, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948 "2003-05-13T13:51:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/81 "2003-05-13T23:57:56Z")
To be fair, **Blalron** , a politician of any stripe standing for whats right in Texas should be taken as a clear sign of the impending Apocalypse. No virgin is ever elected Queen of the Whores. A Texan is usually forced to pick the one with the smaller number of running sores and STD’s. And this plan is too cunning, too nakedly grasping for Tom De Lay, who cannot be trusted to cook his own oatmeal. This one has Karl Rove’s fingerprints all over it. Gotta hope that man don’t suddenly die, then GeeDubya will be President. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/82 "2003-05-14T00:31:32Z")
Notice the Texas-bashers only come out after dark (note posting times). They cannot stand the warm caress of sunshine as it further reminds them of the beautiful garden that is Texas, and how far removed from that Shiner-filled paradise they must live. **RexDart** : Hie thee to Lockhart, and remember Kansas City barbeque no more. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/83 "2003-05-14T01:04:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mischievous \* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by JRDelirious_ > > I wonder if we could convince the US Congress to go into hiding in Canada, or something. > > \*\*While I agree that this concept is indeed inspirational, I suspect that Canada would be all too happy to honor an extradition request. 😃 \*\* What makes you think there would be a request? ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/84 "2003-05-14T01:04:52Z")
[http://www.usc.edu/dept/polsci/gillman/davisvbandemer.html](http://www.usc.edu/dept/polsci/gillman/davisvbandemer.html) This site provides a summary of the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling (in _Davis v Bandemer)_ on political gerrymandering. I’m no lawyer, but my general understanding is that when the redistricting is done soley for partisan reasons, it is unConstitutional: \*“The view that intentional drawing of district boundaries for partisan ends and for no other reason violates the Equal Protection Clause would allow a constitutional violation to be found where the only proven effect on a political party’s electoral power was disproportionate results in one election (possibly two elections), and would invite judicial interference in legislative districting whenever a political party suffers at the polls. Even if a state legislature redistricts with the specific intention of disadvantaging one political party’s election prospects, there has been no unconstitutional violation against members of that party unless the redistricting does in fact disadvantage it at the polls. As noted, a mere lack of proportionate results in one election cannot suffice in this regard.” \* This particular case had to do with gerrymandering in Indiana. (However, their redistricting was upheld.) I hope that I am not misinterpreting. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/85 "2003-05-14T01:35:50Z")
Actually, politically-motivated gerrymandering is entirely constitutional (at least under federal law–state laws may vary). It is only _racially-motivated_ gerrymandering that is (usually) unconstitutional. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/86 "2003-05-14T01:52:59Z")
There’s something oddly poetic about lawmakers being on the run from the law. ---
**Author:** ![Siegfried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Siegfried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siegfried)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/87 "2003-05-14T02:09:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blalron \* > \*\*There’s something oddly poetic about lawmakers being on the run from the law. \*\* For some reason, I have _The Benny Hill Show_’s “Yakety Sax” playing in my head. And I giggle. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/88 "2003-05-14T02:13:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by minty green \* > \*\*Actually, politically-motivated gerrymandering is entirely constitutional (at least under federal law–state laws may vary). It is only _racially-motivated_ gerrymandering that is (usually) unconstitutional. \*\* :😕: If they’re not breaking the law why are they running to Oklahoma, and why is Walker, Texas Ranger after their asses? ---
**Author:** ![syncrolecyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@syncrolecyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/syncrolecyne)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/89 "2003-05-14T02:38:35Z")
Another thing is Texas is in the middle of a budget crisis (Texas is hardly alone there I know). In particular, we are not ay all sure how a lot of our educational system is going to be funded in the years to come. Some Republicans are driviing to eliminate our current ‘Robin Hood’ system, that shifts some resources from wealthier areas to poorer areas for school funding. We really need our legislature to get its act together. If the Democrats took such a step to force that issue, I would approve… Also, demographics are more or less on the side of the Democrats. The Latino population is growing, the cities and suburbs are getting bigger…they are going through some dry years, but after 2010, they will be in a much better position - if they don’t keep doing stupid things that alienate people, and find better candidates. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/90 "2003-05-14T02:39:01Z")
**Scylla** : Two separate issues. One is the issue of forcing a quorum. Texas law allows for the House seargeant-at-arms (or his designees, i.e., the Texas Rangers) to force legislators to attend in order to attain a quorum. That is why Chuck Norris is sitting just over the border from Ardmore. The legislators aren’t in legal jeopardy – they won’t be charged with anything. They’ll just be forced onto the House floor (Texas law also will have the doors to the House locked behind them). What **minty** is alluding to are the constitutional minimums for districting requirements – i.e., that they cannot be drawn on racial lines. Which is fine. Even the folks squirreled away in Ardmore aren’t saying the Republican proposal is _unconstitutional_. Were that the case, there would be no need to break quorum – when the redistricting plan passed, the Dems would just challenge it in federal court. What the folks hiding in the The Evil State are saying is that the Republican redistricting plan is bad policy, and they’ll be damned if they’ll let it pass, even if it means running to another state. Obviously, YMMV as to the validity of that argument, but there ya go. In any event, it does not excuse the choice of Oklahoma as a hideout. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/91 "2003-05-14T02:46:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dewey Cheatem Undhow \* > \*\ ***Scylla** : Two separate issues. > > One is the issue of forcing a quorum. Texas law allows for the House seargeant-at-arms (or his designees, i.e., the Texas Rangers) to force legislators to attend in order to attain a quorum. That is why Chuck Norris is sitting just over the border from Ardmore. The legislators aren’t in legal jeopardy – they won’t be charged with anything. They’ll just be forced onto the House floor (Texas law also will have the doors to the House locked behind them). \*\* Ok. I’m still confused though. If they’re not in legal jeopardy how can force be justified against them. I mean can Chuck drag them kicking and screaming in shackles onto the house floor? Can they shoot them if they try to escape? Can Chuck just bring them back “dead or alive?” Can he just bring back their heads, stick them on Pikes, declare them present and have their quorum? Or can they only ask nicely? The question is to what extent can they and should they use force? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/92 "2003-05-14T03:02:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dewey Cheatem Undhow \* > \*\ ***Scylla** : Two separate issues. > > One is the issue of forcing a quorum. Texas law allows for the House seargeant-at-arms (or his designees, i.e., the Texas Rangers) to force legislators to attend in order to attain a quorum. That is why Chuck Norris is sitting just over the border from Ardmore. The legislators aren’t in legal jeopardy – they won’t be charged with anything. They’ll just be forced onto the House floor (Texas law also will have the doors to the House locked behind them). \*\* Ok. I’m still confused though. If they’re not in legal jeopardy how can force be justified against them. I mean can Chuck drag them kicking and screaming in shackles onto the house floor? Can they shoot them if they try to escape? Can Chuck just bring them back “dead or alive?” Can he just bring back their heads, stick them on Pikes, declare them present and have their quorum? Or can they only ask nicely? The question is to what extent can they and should they use force? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/93 "2003-05-14T03:03:03Z")
Don’t even try, **Scylla**. Really. You wouldn’t get it. Remember that last line in _Chinatown_ “Forget it, **Scylla**. Its Texas.” ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/94 "2003-05-14T03:06:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\*Don’t even try, **Scylla**. Really. You wouldn’t get it. Remember that last line in _Chinatown_ > > “Forget it, **Scylla**. Its Texas.” \*\* I was just… curious. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/95 "2003-05-14T03:12:27Z")
Short answer: Due Process prevents the police from using deadly force unless the suspect (and they’re not even suspects here, since there’s no crime) poses a threat to public safety. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/96 "2003-05-14T03:12:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > > * * * > > Ok. I’m still confused though. If they’re not in legal jeopardy how can force be justified against them. Because the law requires them to attend. The law authorizes the sergeant at arms to remedy non-attendance by compelling their attendance. > [@](#): > > I mean can Chuck drag them kicking and screaming in shackles onto the house floor? Yes > [@](#): > > Can they shoot them if they try to escape? No. > [@](#): > > Can Chuck just bring them back “dead or alive?” No > [@](#): > > Can he just bring back their heads, stick them on Pikes, declare them present and have their quorum? No > [@](#): > > Or can they only ask nicely? They can drag them kicking and screaming only if the legislators are within their State. Otherwise, they are out of their jurisdiction and they can only ask nicely. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/97 "2003-05-14T03:20:51Z")
(sigh) You guys are still attempting to apply rational, reasonable explications to Texas politics. Thats like discussing nuances of the dialectic with a rabid javelina. As Upton Sinclair remarked:“There are two things no civilized person should ever have to witness. One is what really goes into sausage, and the other is what a Texas poltician does for his daily bread.” OK, try this: take a picture of Tom De Lay, gaze at it intensely. Ask youself: what _wouldn’t_ this man do in pursuit of power? No, the Texas Rangers can’t _legally_ shoot a liberal. But shit happens. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/98 "2003-05-14T03:25:47Z")
Just as an aside, what would happen if the Democrats, about to be forced onto the floor by an extradiction warrant, all committed suicide in protest. What would the Republicans do then? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/99 "2003-05-14T03:28:19Z")
Crap, I just realized the governor would probably just call a special election for all the missing spots and we’d be back where we started at. Cancel that plan. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948/100 "2003-05-14T03:28:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blalron \* > \*\*Just as an aside, what would happen if the Democrats, about to be forced onto the floor by an extradiction warrant, all committed suicide in protest. What would the Republicans do then? 😃 \*\* Admire their commitment? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-democrats-youve-gotta-be-fucking-kiddin-me/174948.md?page=6)