### Author:  [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/1 "2004-01-03T19:11:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> She had been busted in a sting operation for selling sex products during private, in-home get-togethers the way some people sell Tupperware. The officers were part of the Johnson County drug task force, but Webb stands accused of peddling something that some in town considered just as pernicious and something an obscure Texas statute deems “obscene devices.”
>
> . . . .
>
> The consultants push hundreds of products – creams, lotions, scents, powders, massage kits and books – but it was the dildos, which amounted to 10 to 15 percent of her business, that brought the cops to Webb.
You know, the BBQ is great down here, but I would really like to see the religious right get beat down with a rake. That someone would actually be criminally prosecuted for selling sex toys in a living room is unbelievably absurd. Well, it wasn’t long ago that Texas’ ban against homosexual conduct was struck down, maybe this idiotic statute will be next to go.
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### Author:  [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/2 "2004-01-03T19:13:51Z")
That article is from the Houston Chronicle:
> **[Burleson city leader in middle of obscenity case](https://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/article/Burleson-city-leader-in-middle-of-obscenity-case-1965825.php)**
>
> Joanne Webb would have turned heads anywhere she went but when she landed in this small...
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### Author:  [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/3 "2004-01-03T19:16:07Z")
A TEXAS SIZED DILDO!!!
Jesus Christ!
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### Author:  [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/4 "2004-01-03T19:18:41Z")
\ I’ve always considered Texas to be the home of some of the most barbaric and backward set of laws, and I’m from Arkansas!
It’s such a confusing thing. When in Texas, there’s lot’s of fun to be had and folks’ hospitality in general can’t be beat. But then you have stuff like this and the sodomy law and the death factory down in Huntsville, etc. Definitely a double-edged sword…
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### Author:  [@MrTuffPaws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrTuffPaws)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/5 "2004-01-03T19:19:04Z")
Well, all they have to do is prove that the use of sex toys is sodomy. Then she is free and clear 😉
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### Author:  [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/6 "2004-01-03T19:23:30Z")
I feel your pain, podjo, but at a distance. I’m a recovering Texan with considerable love/hate anguish about my home state. How can the same culture produce Willy Nelson and Tom DeLay? How do they produce the shining heights of academic excellence (Baylor University, of course, the “Athens on the Brazos”) and Texas A&M within an hours drive of each other?
The Troglodyte Right is thorougly entrenched, they got the money, they got the power structure, they have every advantage possible. Save that they are wrong. If they haven’t shot Molly Ivins, there is yet hope, and besides, Molly will shoot back, and my money is on her.
Never give up. Never say die. _Venceremos!_
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/7 "2004-01-03T19:25:29Z")
Last time I was travelling through the Lone Star state, I was busted for misdemeanor libido possession.
(I got off with a fine…)
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### Author:  [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/8 "2004-01-03T19:26:07Z")
There’s a wonderful documentary about Texas’ dildo law called _The Dildo Diaries_, which is unfortunately unavailable on video. To sell a dildo, you have to call it an educational model. This is strictly enforced, with one customer explaining how the staff at one store kept correcting her when she tried to say “dildo.” “They make you use their terminology. I had to explain that I needed a bigger one because I kept losing the attention of the person I was educating.”
It also includes what has to be one of the all-time funniest debates in political history, as one state rep introduces a bill to criminalize heterosexual sodomy, saying that it was against the standards of his community. One can only conclude his community spent an inordinant amount of time talking about whether the neighbors liked to take it up the ass.
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### Author:  [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/9 "2004-01-03T19:35:26Z")
It’s like they have to say the bongs are “for tobacco only”. It’s the goddamned silliest shit, really.
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### Author:  [@eli\_the\_fanatic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eli_the_fanatic)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/10 "2004-01-03T19:42:47Z")
Any state that produced Lyle Lovett can’t be that bad.
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### Author:  [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/11 "2004-01-03T19:43:28Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Fionn \*
> \*\*It also includes what has to be one of the all-time funniest debates in political history, as one state rep introduces a bill to criminalize heterosexual sodomy, saying that it was against the standards of his community. One can only conclude his community spent an inordinant amount of time talking about whether the neighbors liked to take it up the ass. \*\*
Oh, believe me, they do. One’s sexuality is fair game as far as some of these people are concerned. Besides, only in Texas can someone who’s unmarried, no kids, and not interested in dating be smeared as a lesbian.
Robin
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### Author:  [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/12 "2004-01-03T19:45:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by eli\_the\_fanatic \*
> \*\*Any state that produced Lyle Lovett can’t be that bad. \*\*
Sad thing is, for every Lyle Lovett or Willie Nelson, they produce a Rick Perry or Tom DeLay. (Sorry for biting off your post there, 'luci)
Robin
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### Author:  [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/13 "2004-01-03T19:47:31Z")
Hell, I was sure ya’ll had to at least be a _girl_ to be a lesbian!! Damn! Sure glad I got a kid, I got 'nough damn problems without being a lesbian! Confusion like that I don’t think I could handle.
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### Author:  [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/14 "2004-01-03T19:54:43Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by MsRobyn \*
> \*\*… (Sorry for biting off your post there, 'luci)… \*\*
Must…resist…straight line. MUST resist straight line…Too…nice…a… person…husband…heavily…armed…automatic…weapons…
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### Author:  [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/15 "2004-01-03T21:18:02Z")
For a state that makes a big hubbub about “justice,” you’d think they’d care a bit more about having such a shitty third world justice system. If their police officers aren’t using chalk to frame Mexicans as cocaine dealers so they can split informant payoffs, framing entire towns of black people for crimes that defy possibility, then their courts are featuring known serial perjurers and ruling that having your public defender be a three time convicted DUI who sleeps his hangover off in court and who fails to call any witnesses is acceptable public defense. Going after dildos is just the icing on the cake of having no clue whatsoever what “justice” means.
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### Author:  [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/16 "2004-01-03T21:22:01Z")
Where does on _get_ a Texas-sized dildo?
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### Author:  [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/17 "2004-01-03T21:25:19Z")
Wal-mart? Piggly Wiggly?
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### Author:  [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/18 "2004-01-03T21:25:34Z")
…not in Texas, obviously, unless it’s for educational purposes. Maybe that’s what Bush is thinking about with that “no child left behind” stuff…
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### Author:  [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/19 "2004-01-03T21:29:21Z")
f’get about it - you wouldn’t be able to afford the shipping charges. 😉
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### Author:  [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/20 "2004-01-03T21:30:46Z")
You know, I see threads like this one and others and I can’t just help myself laughing my head off. Up here, you see, sex shops advertizes on TV, showing their products on the screen and whatnots. Stuff like this makes Texas looks like a really backward place. Maybe if more people would laugh at Texas, it would grow up and join the rest of the world.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502.md?page=2)