# Texas-sized dildo mess
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 3, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502 "2004-01-03T19:11:37Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@blackjac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blackjac)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/41 "2004-01-04T05:51:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \*
> \*\*Last time I was travelling through the Lone Star state, I was busted for misdemeanor libido possession.
>
> (I got off with a fine…) \*\*
Shouldn’t your parenthetical statement read: (I got off…fine)?
---
### Author:  [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/42 "2004-01-04T12:13:55Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Mighty\_Girl \*
> \*\*
> And at least we don’t need no frigging texas-sized dildo, thankyouverymuch. One the size of Rhode Island will suffice. \*\*
I hear Ted Turner has a couple dildoes down in Texas whose combined acreage exceeds that of Rhode Island.
…Or was that ranches?
---
### Author:  [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/43 "2004-01-04T12:22:19Z")
Who’s going to clear up the Texas sized dildo mess left by the dildo?
---
### Author:  [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/44 "2004-01-04T16:18:18Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Ilsa\_Lund \*
> \*\*Where does on _get_ a Texas-sized dildo? \*\*
Well, they probably did to a strip search on Sadaam…
---
### Author:  [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/45 "2004-01-04T17:23:36Z")
A Texas-sized dildo mess? Isn’t that a lot of the attraction of dildoes, that they don’t leave a mess?
---
### Author:  [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/46 "2004-01-04T18:03:37Z")
Don’t hold back now…say what you really mean.
Enlighten me with more intelligent statements and generalizations. Be sure to focus on the negative and disregard any positive aspects. Surely Texans have done nothing worthy of admiration or respect. Especially when compared to the superior intellect of the rest of humanity and their history of interaction with each other. I am humbled when I consider the marvelous contributions made by the states from which all of you hail. You are a beacon…a shining example to we ignorant folk.
We should be ashamed of ourselves. ☹
BTW It’s not illegal to sell sex items in Texas. You just can’t do it in residential areas unless you are discreet. I don’t want my children walking to school with sex displayed on the sidewalk. Sorry if y’all don’t get that. IIRC she had been warned. AND Johnson County is not at all representative of the rest of the state.
---
### Author:  [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/47 "2004-01-04T18:31:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by An Arky \*
> \*\*It’s like they have to say the bongs are “for tobacco only”. It’s the goddamned silliest shit, really. \*\*
As opposed to endorsing and/or promoting use of an illegal substance. Kinda like the SDMB isn’t it?
Silly? Depends on how you look at it. Do you need a manual to help you smoke dope? Does Mrs. So and So, have the right to NOT have her five year old child exposed to products that she finds offensive? Is it okay for me to smoke my cigar in your house? car, yard, restaurant, why the hell not?
Do I have the right to decide when my child is exposed to sex and products related to sex? Is it okay for Joe Blow to sell lifelike fake dicks and rubber pussies in my driveway? Hmmm…I suppose that’s up to you? Not me, huh?
Am I a prude? Not in the least. Got some of that stuff at home. But it’s not laying on the dining room table. :rolleyes:
Hypocrite? I don’t think so. It’s not like I’m saying you can’t but I can. Just not where my child, mom, wife, etc. frequent. Don’t worry I’ll find you if I need something.
---
### Author:  [@The\_Green\_Feather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Green_Feather)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/48 "2004-01-04T18:59:35Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \*
> \*\*Last time I was travelling through the Lone Star state, I was busted for misdemeanor libido possession.
>
> (I got off with a fine…) \*\*
I better not travel through Texas. I’m packin’ a **felony libido**.:eek:
---
### Author:  [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/49 "2004-01-04T19:05:59Z")
Ah, I get it. The local cops in an obscure, rural town–which happens to be located in Texas–get all holier-than-thou and decide to enforce an obscure and archaic law against dildos. This leads to critical news coverage from the local press, without any signs whatsoever that the public approves of the arrest and prosecution. Nevertheless, certain posters start appearing to blame “Texas,” which, if those posters are to be believed, is the only place in the country where holier-than-thou officials are permitted to exist, and where their actions are universally acclaimed by the populace.
Morons.
---
### Author:  [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/50 "2004-01-04T19:27:35Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by t-keela \*
> BTW It’s not illegal to sell sex items in Texas. You just can’t do it in residential areas unless you are discreet.
From [Texas Penal Code 43.21](http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/pe/pe0004300.html#pe007.43.21)
> [@](#):
>
> “Obscene device” means a device including a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.
From [Texas Penal Code 43.23](http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/pe/pe0004300.html#pe009.43.23):
> [@](#):
>
> (a) A person commits an offense if, knowing its content and character, he wholesale promotes or possesses with intent to wholesale promote any obscene material or obscene device.
>
> (b) An offense under Subsection (a) is a state jail felony.
>
> © A person commits an offense if, knowing its content and character, he:
>
> (1) promotes or possesses with intent to promote any obscene material or obscene device…
>
> (d) An offense under Subsection © is a Class A misdemeanor.
(From 43.21 again “‘Promote’ means to manufacture, issue, sell, give, provide, lend, mail, deliver, transfer, transmit, publish, distribute, circulate, disseminate, present, exhibit, or advertise, or to offer or agree to do the same” and “‘Wholesale promote’ means to manufacture, issue, sell, provide, mail, deliver, transfer, transmit, publish, distribute, circulate, disseminate, or to offer or agree to do the same for purpose of resale.”)
Unless perhaps there has been a court decision striking down this law and legalizing the sale of dildoes outside of residential areas?
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by minty green \*
> The local cops in an obscure, rural town…
[Johnson County, Texas](http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/48/48251.html) has a population of 132,247 and is part of the Fort Worth-Arlington, PMSA. It’s more of an obscure, suburban county than an obscure, rural town.
---
### Author:  [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/51 "2004-01-04T19:50:51Z")
Dear Mr. Ashcroft:
I note your policy of tracking potential terrorists by thier possession of an almanac. As an alert, vigilant citizen, it is my duty to advise you…
---
### Author:  [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/52 "2004-01-04T20:13:41Z")
I’m guessing that only one of us has been to Burleson, **'Buck**. I stand by my previous description: Obscure and rural. Not as obscure and rural as [url=“[http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/48/48301.html](http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/48/48301.html)”]Loving County, of course, but obscure and rural nonetheless.
---
### Author:  [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/53 "2004-01-04T20:15:11Z")
[Loving County](http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/48/48301.html)
---
### Author:  [@spinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spinky)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/54 "2004-01-04T20:25:41Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by minty green \*
> Nevertheless, certain posters start appearing to blame “Texas,”
Well, “Texas”, as opposed to “an obscure rural town in Texas”, **is** an accurate description of where this law applies, isn’t it? If you want to complain about a law, what criteria should you use to decide the scope of your complaint? The jurisdiction of the law seems like a pretty obvious choice.
**Age Quod Agis** : re: Alaska. Oh yeah. I must have, uh, been speaking just of the lower 48, since I’m not aware of the legal implications of shipping a Texas-sized dildo through Canada. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/55 "2004-01-04T20:42:57Z")
> [@](#):
>
> ## \*Originally posted by MEBuckner \* \*\*-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Obscene device” means a device including a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.
>
> \*\*
“Honest, officer, I was going to use it on my cat!”
---
### Author:  [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/56 "2004-01-04T21:45:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by tdn \*
> \*\*“Honest, officer, I was going to use it on my cat!” \*\*
i was just thinking packaging with this on it:
> [@](#):
>
> Only For Use on Animals and Inanimate Objects
---
### Author:  [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/57 "2004-01-04T22:54:54Z")
**minty**
It’s kinda hard to explain what we both understand about Johnson county. The size and population of a Texas county is irrelevent when making a comparison to its particlar demography. That would be similar to claiming Plano is representative of cities of similar size. Try Brewster county, size v. pop. similar to where?
There are many obsolete laws still on the books in most states. Rather than attempting to legislate them all out of existence, which would be practically impossible, most are simply ignored. UNTIL some dumbass makes a federal case out of it. Then others like him/her decide it requires media attention and push the case until it gets out of proportion to the event.
Obsolete laws still on the books in other states.
It’s legal to beat your wife in Arkansas but only once a month.
It’s illegal to rob a bank in Louisiana with a toy gun.
In Alabama its legal to have sex ONLY in the missionary position.
It’s against the law in Kentucky for a woman to drive barefooted.
etc.
etc. There are literally thousands of outdated laws still on the books throughout the country.
\*disclaimer-I don’t know for certain, nor do I have cites to back up these **particular** laws existence. But I am sure that similar laws do exist. The OP is evidence of that fact.
How about your state?
---
### Author:  [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/58 "2004-01-04T23:01:33Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by ntucker \*
> Well, “Texas”, as opposed to “an obscure rural town in Texas”, **is** an accurate description of where this law applies, isn’t it?
The morons aren’t complaining about the law in the abstract. They’re bitching about its once-in-a-blue-moon enforcement in the specific example from Johnson County. It’s not “Oh my gosh, isn’t it funny this law is on the books in Texas.” It’s “Texas is going to put a woman in jail for selling a dildo! What a terrible terrible place Texas is, and what horrible horrible people who live there!”
---
### Author:  [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/59 "2004-01-04T23:02:18Z")
Yes, there are stupid laws on the books of many states. (And yes, they _should_ be repealed; “Gosh, we don’t really enforce those” is a bad response to bad laws, for several reasons.) That said, you can do much better than coughing up some tired list of urban legends from spam e-mail.
> [@](#):
>
> How about your state?
Well, if someone were bashing Georgia after we made a national laughingstock of ourselves by enforcing one of our no-doubt numerous archaic laws, I might respond in any number of ways, but I don’t think I’d be posting nonsense about it being legal in Arkansas to beat your wife once a month without something to back it up.
---
### Author:  [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/60 "2004-01-05T00:28:11Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Well, if someone were bashing Georgia after we made a national laughingstock of ourselves by enforcing one of our no-doubt numerous archaic laws
You think that? Really? I can probably come up with plenty of examples to admonish Texas politics but probably no more so than any other government entity. To disparage a population because of unpopular, even absurd laws arbitrarily applied, is by no means a display of intelligence.
> [@](#):
>
> I might respond in any number of ways, but I don’t think I’d be posting nonsense about it being legal in Arkansas to beat your wife once a month without something to back it up.
This is what you’ve decided my response is boiled down to? Need I quote examples of similar situations in other states (even Georgia) to “back it up”.
I was not supporting the law, Inasmuch as I was surprised at the generalizations made against the “ignorant fuckin’ people” that live here.
Believe what you will, but you can buy sexual items in Texas. The woman brought it on herself. Local jurisdictions (esp. Johnson county) are not consistent in their application of questionable laws. IMO They need to all be disposed of and start afresh. 🙂
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502.md?page=2)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502.md?page=4)