# Texas-sized dildo mess
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 3, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502 "2004-01-03T19:11:37Z")
**Posts on this page:** 13
**Page:** 5
### Author:  [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2004, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/81 "2004-01-08T09:12:26Z")
**Mtgman** I really was through here but I thought you might be interested in this little bit.
I already said she has a good lawyer. Apparently someone’s on the ball or they’re reading this board. I went back to some of the sites I had been researching. The Official Texas Counties Appraisal Districts site for one has removed Johnson County records from the page.
They don’t even offer the local one which has added their JOINT assets since the other day. The property that WAS listed in her maiden name only is no longer on the dBase. They missed something. So, I think I’ll go back and get a copy.
The Texas Criminal Records Online search is not available now either.
And the original article which said she was selling merchandise from her husbands business and that the DEA had setup the sting with local law enforcement is unavailable.
I haven’t looked at the other cites (yet) that I had found info. on the Webbs. I assume the lawyer had a judge shut down any official sites w/ relevant information.
This same thing happened a couple of years ago involving an adoption case. The online Texas birth records dept. was shut down permanently.
Yeah, I know it sounds like tin-foil hat time… :dubious: Don’t look at me that way. I’ll give ya a clue how I know what I do. Back in the day…oh about 15 years ago. I had a girlfriend there, wild thing she was. Fine as hell, blond & blue eyed, built like mm-mmm…but couldn’t stay away from that fucking junk. (She was a couple of years older than me, I’m 41 now) Made her money stripping and whatever. She used to run with a crowd that manufactured meth. Let me just make it simple for ya. She knew everyone in Johnson County…got her ass busted there MofF. She did a little TDC time for it too.
The sheriff there gave her a hard time as well…then took her kids.
She wound up in a witness protection deal to get her kids back. But it was more than she could handle and that’s when I found her. I tried to help her get her shit back together and did for awhile.
But a junkie has to want it really bad…to quit. I’ll be damned if the fucking DEA didn’t show up one night, badges guns and all.
Had to let KJ go after that. I sure missed her but I’m gettin too old for that shit anymore. I got me a good woman, two fine kids and a nice quiet life in the country. 🙂
It was a shock when the names popped out of the blue though. You see they have the same last name as my old girl friend. :eek:
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### Author:  [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2004, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/82 "2004-01-08T09:17:04Z")
According to _Wired_, this is called a “Schtupperware” Party. Thot you may like to know.
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### Author:  [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/83 "2004-01-08T17:33:39Z")
**t-keela** , could you drop me an email? My address is public on the boards.
**edwino** a friend of my wife’s used to be a schtupperware party girl before she moved to Texas from Reno, Nevada. She said she’d start it up again but everyone down here is so uptight about sex that she’s afraid she’d be run out of town. Seeing that she currently lives in Midlothian I’d have to agree with her.
Thanks,
Steven
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### Author:  [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2004, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/84 "2004-01-08T18:05:34Z")
My sister does Schtupperware parties in New York. She sends me her catalogs.
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### Author:  [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2004, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/85 "2004-01-08T22:21:09Z")
**Mtgman**
As a former teacher of a Human Sex Elective in a Houston medical school, it is my semi-professional opinion that the more dildos we distribute in Texas, the better. I respect Ms. Webb’s sense of service. Tell Ms. Mtgman’s friend that it is just her civic duty to slip some dildos into the market simply to get this state to ease back and open up a little. Although I respect what’s at stake, this is an important task with which we are saddled.
FTR, I’ve had easier times buying pot than realistic dongs in this state. For educational purposes only, of course. 🙂
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### Author:  [@PhiloVance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhiloVance)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2004, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/86 "2004-01-09T00:08:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> This kind of stuff makes Texas look like some kind of backward third world-country ruled by a theocratic regime… I suggest you guys keep that kind of stuff out of the newspaper, it makes you look bad.
**NO, NO!**
Think of the SDMB, they’d have nothing to talk about. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/87 "2004-01-09T18:39:21Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by edwino_
> **Tell Ms. Mtgman’s friend that it is just her civic duty to slip some dildos into the market simply to get this state to ease back and open up a little. Although I respect what’s at stake, this is an important task with which we are saddled.**
Mmmm… saddled dildos…
Enjoy,
Steven
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### Author:  [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2004, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/88 "2004-07-19T15:29:45Z")
Charges against Mrs. Webb [have been dropped](http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/front/2688474).
> [@Houston Chronicle](#):
>
> The case against Joanne Webb was dismissed by a judge, Johnson County Attorney Bill Moore said Friday in a statement. He said he asked the judge for the dismissal to prevent wasting county resources . . . .
(Also, why the heck didn’t this thread turn up in a search for all threads with “dildo” in their title? Confangled busted search engine…)
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/89 "2004-07-19T15:47:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> The following words are either very common, too long, or too short and were not included in your search : **dildo**
😃
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### Author:  [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2004, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/90 "2004-07-19T17:25:54Z")
> [@edwino](#):
>
> According to _Wired_, this is called a “Schtupperware” Party. Thot you may like to know.
I’ve always heard of them called Fuckerware parties.
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2004, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/91 "2004-07-19T18:04:50Z")
Weekend before last, we went to an SCA event at a campground in Wisconsin. The interesting thing about the scheduling for this annual event is that it’s usually one weekend away from the annual Swinger’s Camping Jamboree, or whatever they call it. Just as we, in the SCA, have certain equipment we leave on-site in storage year-round (archery targets, for example), so also does the swinger’s group… the owner of the site was bragging about this stuff, and somebody in my recorder consort said he was showing people a powered dildo, and my friend asked me, “Who needs an 8 horsepower vibrator?” I asked if it was a gas-powered Sybian, and she was confused and disturbed to find out that I knew technical names for such stuff… :eek: 😃
I love this place.
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### Author:  [@ponderer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ponderer)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2004, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/92 "2004-07-20T13:23:42Z")
I don’t see what the hubbub is all about trying to regulate the use of dill dough. This low-carb craze has gone much too far. But I did see a bubbly, perky gal named Rachel on tv the other day saying she really kneads her dill dough and when she was finished with it she was going to butter it and share it with her friends while it was still hot… guess she isn’t from Texas.
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### Author:  [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2004, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-sized-dildo-mess/222502/93 "2004-07-20T13:26:49Z")
> [@elucidator](#):
>
> I feel your pain, podjo, but at a distance. I’m a recovering Texan with considerable love/hate anguish about my home state. How can the same culture produce Willy Nelson and Tom DeLay?
Willy Nelson is nothing to brag about. He’s an asshole that walks upright on its hind legs.
I am one of many, many, many former or current peace officers who has had the dubious pleasure of putting Willy’s sorry ass in a jail cell. Believe me, he is NOT the kind of person one wants associated with Texas. I wish he’d pack his scrungy self up and move somewhere else.
:wally
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