# Texas Solves All Major Social Problems **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 4, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404 "2005-05-04T17:28:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/1 "2005-05-04T17:28:22Z")
…So now they are tackling the absurdly trivial ones: [Texas votes for crackdown on sexy cheerleaders](http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/afp/20050504/ts_alt_afp/afplifestyleuscheerleaders_050504072845) > [@](#): > > One of the co-authors of the bill, Republican Corbin Van Arsdale, said many parents want restrictions because they go to Friday night games to see young men clashing on the football field, not girls shaking their behinds on the sidelines. > > “You’ve got children seeing things that their parents would rather them not see,” said Van Arsdale. > > The bill would allow the Texas Education Agency to police routines deemed vulgar or excessive, and force schools to take “appropriate action” to stop it. > [@](#): > > Critics said the biggest problems is that the bill doesn’t define what “sexually suggestive” means. > > Bill sponsor Al Edwards, a Houston Democrat, said there’s only one way to determine that: by watching the routine. > > “Any adult that’s been involved with sex in their lives, they know it when they see it,” he said. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/2 "2005-05-04T17:30:53Z")
:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/3 "2005-05-04T17:31:47Z")
They need to removed their heads from their asses before looking. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/4 "2005-05-04T17:35:30Z")
\*"Bill sponsor Al Edwards, a Houston Democrat, said there’s only one way to determine that: by watching the routine. “Any adult that’s been involved with sex in their lives, they know it when they see it,” he said.\* Well, he has a point there. Texas Legislators = Nimrods With Far Too Much Time On Their Hands Water=Wet Pope=Catholic But thanks for reminding us. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/5 "2005-05-04T17:44:45Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > \*"Bill sponsor Al Edwards, a Houston Democrat, said there’s only one way to determine that: by watching the routine. > > “Any adult that’s been involved with sex in their lives, they know it when they see it,” he said.\* That Al Edwards - always playing the angles, that sly dog. He’s gonna get paid to travel around the state checking out the cheerleaders like he never got to when he was in High School. Wish I’d thoughta that one. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/6 "2005-05-04T18:00:35Z")
> [@Genghis Bob](#): > > That Al Edwards - always playing the angles, that sly dog. He’s gonna get paid to travel around the state checking out the cheerleaders like he never got to when he was in High School. > > Wish I’d thoughta that one. If you need someone to make sure that the cheerleaders are behaving while in the communal girl’s showers, I gotcha ya covered. I may be too preoccupied to actually write down any infractions, though. ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/7 "2005-05-04T18:05:50Z")
Always love “I know it when I see it” legislation. So easy to enforce! I wonder how many sexy cheerleader routines they studied before voting on this… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/8 "2005-05-04T18:09:22Z")
Those poor, wandering waifs! Cast out of Texas into the cold, cruel, literate world, with nothing but their pom-poms to cover their pom-poms with! I shall take them in! And shelter them! And tuck them in at night! And show them the affection they’ve been denied in Texas! Because I’m big… hearted. In short, I’m a hellava guy! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/9 "2005-05-04T18:17:03Z")
With all the recently disgustingly stupid legislation proposed in my fair state, I was pleased to see one so stupid it literally made me laugh out loud. “Too sexy! The dance is too sexy! No, no, still too, _too sexy!_” ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/10 "2005-05-04T18:19:06Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > If you need someone to make sure that the cheerleaders are behaving while in the communal girl’s showers, I gotcha ya covered. I may be too preoccupied to actually write down any infractions, though. Oooh, good point! I’ve heard that lesbianism has become so rampant among high school girls in Oklahoma that they’ve had to institute rules saying that they can only go to the bathroom one at a time. Can you imagine what would happen if lesbianism became commonplace in _all_ high schools? ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/11 "2005-05-04T18:30:42Z")
I favor totally nude cheerleaders, but that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/12 "2005-05-04T18:33:17Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Oooh, good point! I’ve heard that lesbianism has become so rampant among high school girls in Oklahoma that they’ve had to institute rules saying that they can only go to the bathroom one at a time. Can you imagine what would happen if lesbianism became commonplace in _all_ high schools? I guess I can try to imagine it. Next time I’m alone with a little WD-40 and some tissues. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/13 "2005-05-04T18:33:31Z")
> [@Duke of Rat](#): > > I favor totally nude cheerleaders, but that’s just me. no-no-no, I think we have a consensus, there. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/14 "2005-05-04T18:34:25Z")
I can rest easy tonight, since I know that finally someone is thinking of the children. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/15 "2005-05-04T18:34:28Z")
> [@Duke of Rat](#): > > I favor totally nude cheerleaders, but that’s just me. Well of course. Those uniforms are obscene! Off with them, I say! ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/16 "2005-05-04T18:40:27Z")
[music begins] I’m too sexy for highschool, too sexy for highschool So sexy it hurts And I’m too sexy for Texas, too sexy for Texas Austin and Dallas And I’m too sexy for your party Too sexy for your party No way I’m Republican [link](http://www.lyricsondemand.com/onehitwonders/imtoosexylyrics.html) for the nerds amongst us. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/17 "2005-05-04T18:53:46Z")
He just wants to see football as it’s supposed to be–strapping young men in tight pants, running around, getting all sweaty, grappling together, muscles tensed, occasionally falling into big piles of quivering man-flesh, rewarding good plays with a firm slap on the ass. See, nothing sexual about that at all. Nope, nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/18 "2005-05-04T18:57:22Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > I can rest easy tonight, since I know that finally someone is thinking of the children. Well someone has to do it, since John Wayne Gacy’s dead and Michael Jackon’s under investigation. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/19 "2005-05-04T19:01:50Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > If you need someone to make sure that the cheerleaders are behaving while in the communal girl’s showers, I gotcha ya covered. I may be too preoccupied to actually write down any infractions, though. I could help. I’d be sure to record any infractions (though I’ll admit that I might be somehow persuaded to tear up the records). ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/20 "2005-05-04T19:07:09Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Can you imagine what would happen if lesbianism became commonplace in _all_ high schools? Digicams would become much more popular in schools? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404.md?page=2)