# Texas Solves All Major Social Problems **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 4, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404 "2005-05-04T17:28:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Unregistered\_Bull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3da27b/32.png) [@Unregistered\_Bull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unregistered_Bull)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/21 "2005-05-04T19:31:54Z")
Texas does some stupid, vile shit like the recent anti-homosexual legislation in regards to marriage and foster parenting. But I don’t have a problem with them not wanting minor, public school cheer leaders / dance teams acting like a bunch of dancers in a Christina Aguilera video. Now if they went after pro cheer leaders or dance teams, then I’d be complaining like the rest of you. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/22 "2005-05-04T19:41:17Z")
> [@treis](#): > > [music begins] > > I’m too sexy for highschool, too sexy for highschool > So sexy it hurts > And I’m too sexy for Texas, too sexy for Texas > Austin and Dallas > > And I’m too sexy for your party > Too sexy for your party > No way I’m Republican > > [link](http://www.lyricsondemand.com/onehitwonders/imtoosexylyrics.html) for the nerds amongst us. Now, now! I think it’s safe to say that this is a \*bi-\*partisan effort to monitor the sexul conduct of nubile teenaged wimmins. Those cheerleader uniforms totally objectify young women as sexual objects, and have to come off, and if the cheerleaders refuse to take them off, then law enforcement officials must cuff them and take them to jail. And of course, concerned citizens of every stripe must be there to document such activities; ya know, for the public good, so that _nothing_ is concealed. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/23 "2005-05-04T19:41:53Z")
The rampant lesbianism in Oklahoma and Texas high schools is a fact beyond quibble! I am in possession of videotaped evidence that leaves no doubt, none whatsoever, at the appalling prevalence of same! I am willing to share such evidence with other concerned citizens who possess the stern moral fiber needful to view such evidence and act accordingly! You will understand, I am sure, that I am ever wary of the despised agents of secular humanism and assassins from the Homintern. Though I should like to provide this evidence freely and without hindrance, I am forced to require a donation of $59.95 (US), cash or money order only, please. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/24 "2005-05-04T19:44:24Z")
Is that what all the girls would tell you when you asked for a date? That they’re lesbians? ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/25 "2005-05-04T20:01:16Z")
My favorite part is what I read in the yahoo article on it: > [@](#): > > Edwards argued bawdy performances are a distraction for students resulting in pregnancies, dropouts and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Looks like somebody finally figured out where babies come from! Susan ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/26 "2005-05-04T20:06:55Z")
> [@](#): > > One of the co-authors of the bill, Republican Corbin Van Arsdale, said many parents want restrictions because they go to Friday night games **to see young men clashing on the football field, not girls shaking their behinds** on the sidelines. Yuh-huh. I’ll bet most of the fathers absolutely, utterly, completely, POINT BLANK don’t want to catch sight of a shapely eighteen year-old girl in a tight costume bringing her milkshakes very much to their yard. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/27 "2005-05-04T20:07:35Z")
Maybe the Texas legislator was inspired by [the San Jose State cheerleading incident.](http://wcco.com/water/watercooler_story_100071946.html) Dunno what that bit about sports officials wanting “more hair” is supposed to signify… ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/28 "2005-05-04T20:08:10Z")
> [@susan\_foster](#): > > Looks like somebody finally figured out where babies come from! Cheerleaders? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/29 "2005-05-04T20:13:01Z")
I’m dumbfounded. I had been led to believe, based on broadcasts of Dallas Cowboys games and that famed documentary, _Debbie Does Dallas,_ that sexy cheerleading was as big a part of Texas football as undertable gifts to star players from the alumni. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/30 "2005-05-04T21:11:14Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > \*"Bill sponsor Al Edwards, a Houston Democrat, said there’s only one way to determine that: by watching the routine. > > “Any adult that’s been involved with sex in their lives, they know it when they see it,” he said.\* > > Well, he has a point there. I dunno. Seems to me that it’s like Ashcroft’s “we know bad porn when we see it” task force and we had, what, five guys whose only job was to surf for “bad porn” so that action could be taken. Sounds to me like some people get their dream jobs. I wonder if you get your own cubicle? Besides, it’s just a matter of some “legislators” getting to oogle high school girls in skimpy outfits. I’d volunteer, but then I’d be a pervert. -Joe, volunteers ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/31 "2005-05-04T21:15:00Z")
Yeah, having underaged girls dancing around suggestively in skimpy outfits, what’s not to like? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/32 "2005-05-04T22:32:16Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > If you need someone to make sure that the cheerleaders are behaving while in the communal girl’s showers, I gotcha ya covered. I may be too preoccupied to actually write down any infractions, though. “Who wants to help me hold the **special** pen?” ---
**Author:** ![AmYtheBrAt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ab992/32.png) [@AmYtheBrAt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmYtheBrAt)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/33 "2005-05-04T23:01:31Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > “Who wants to help me hold the **special** pen?” Dirty old men sux :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/34 "2005-05-04T23:06:58Z")
> [@AmYtheBrAt](#): > > Dirty old men sux :rolleyes: You’re just jealous that nobody’s asked _you_ to hold the **special** pen. ---
**Author:** ![AmYtheBrAt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ab992/32.png) [@AmYtheBrAt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmYtheBrAt)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/35 "2005-05-04T23:13:26Z")
I’m sure your pen is old, dried up and out of ink… thats why your sitting around talking about… yep, dirty old men sux. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/36 "2005-05-04T23:22:17Z")
> [@AmYtheBrAt](#): > > I’m sure your pen is old, dried up and out of ink… thats why your sitting around talking about… yep, dirty old men sux. That’s only because you’re a hideous hag who doesn’t swallow. Now, if you were some hot young cheerleader, you’d find that I had a throbbing member that was more than you could handle. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/37 "2005-05-05T00:13:42Z")
> [@AmYtheBrAt](#): > > Dirty old men sux :rolleyes: No, dirty old men lick. Dirty old wimmin’ sux. Get it right, my little brat. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/38 "2005-05-05T00:26:43Z")
> [@AmYtheBrAt](#): > > Dirty old men sux :rolleyes: Who you callin’ old? And for the record, I lick, nibble, probe, _and_ suck. Make a note of it. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/39 "2005-05-05T00:46:36Z")
> [@AmYtheBrAt](#): > > Dirty old men sux :rolleyes: And a 10 year old who logs onto a message board that offers as much as this one does, & who uses it to post something as weak as this is pathetic. [HERE! THIS site is more your speed, little girl.](http://disney.go.com/home/today/index.html) :wally ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/40 "2005-05-05T00:49:21Z")
> [@AmYtheBrAt](#): > > Dirty old men sux :rolleyes: Are you trying to convince us that you trully ARE a brat. You know, just because it’s in your username, doesn’t mean that you have to only post as a brat. It would be like me only posting about incest and trailerparks. Oh, and welcome. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404.md?page=3)