# Texas Solves All Major Social Problems **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 4, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404 "2005-05-04T17:28:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/81 "2005-05-05T17:32:52Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Twelve or thirteen seems odd. I consider spending time around pubescent children something akin to visiting a dentist who’s into S&M on the side, so I don’t know exactly what a girl that age looks like. But they’re not usually physically mature, right? That’s definitely creepy. (And don’t get me wrong, I think obviously leering at teenage girls is majorly inappropriate. Had a high school teacher who did that, but I digress . . . ) > > I don’t think most of the people in this thread are about to go hanging out at the toy store to pick up chicks any time soon, anyway . . . Uh, I’ve met girls who were 12 and _looked_ like they were pushing 17. Granted, they’re rare (though becoming more common all the time, it seems), and it creeped me right the fuck out when I found out how young she was, but they’re out there. ---
**Author:** ![Boggette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@Boggette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boggette)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/82 "2005-05-05T17:35:30Z")
> [@DoctorJ](#): > > He just wants to see football as it’s supposed to be–strapping young men in tight pants, running around, getting all sweaty, grappling together, muscles tensed, occasionally falling into big piles of quivering man-flesh, rewarding good plays with a firm slap on the ass. > > See, nothing sexual about that at all. Nope, nothing. _pant_ Dang! Off to the cold showers I go! ---
**Author:** ![HelenTroy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helentroy/32/86_2.png) [@HelenTroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelenTroy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/83 "2005-05-05T17:37:02Z")
Jesus, Mary and Joseph! I was reading this thread and getting a good giggle until everyone got all whiny and sensitive. I keep reading people complaining about the lack of a sense of humor around here and it has never been more evident than in this thread. I was a cheerleader myself (participated in a Parent’s Day dance choreographed to “Push It” by Salt n’Pepa. Lord, I’m dating myself), and was NOT insulted by anything anyone said. I was able to recognize the joke involved and in my neck of the woods High School chearleaders were rarely younger than 15, which I’m sure is more normally the case. I know I was definitely jail-bait. Another thing (concerning the Bosda issue) - must we always bring up issues from the past with someone when the thread they are posting in has nothing to do with that issue? Poster 1: I like ice cream. Poster 2: What do you know, you right-wing Bush lover Poster 3: I didn’t like the last Harry Potter book. Poster4: Yeah, well only a loony lefty would think that. I’m about to spank someone. And I’ll wear my old cheerleading uniform while I do it. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/84 "2005-05-05T17:40:43Z")
> [@HelenTroy](#): > > I’m about to spank someone. > > And I’ll wear my old cheerleading uniform while I do it. Me first! Me first! ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/85 "2005-05-05T17:42:17Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > You mean a lightheaded manner. Like all his posts. Truly a blathering jackass. > > But you’re right. Why be mean? This is the Care Bear Pit. Blathering, yes. Jackass, maybe. But not as bad as hijacking someone’s thread about their relative dying of cancer, just to say you don’t give a fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/86 "2005-05-05T18:18:07Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > Blathering, yes. Jackass, maybe. But not as bad as hijacking someone’s thread about their relative dying of cancer, just to say you don’t give a fuck. Look, I agree completely with your assessment of CarnalK. But is it necessary to hijack this thread to discuss his utter worthlessness? We’re supposed to be talking about cheerleaders or something. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/87 "2005-05-05T18:34:40Z")
That’s right, it was me that hijacked it, and not some self-proclaimed advocate for the right’s of the mentally ill. I’ll just run along back to Care Bear land aka MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/88 "2005-05-05T18:38:09Z")
> [@AmYtheBrAt](#): > > I’m sure your pen is old, dried up and out of ink… \\. You’re not worth writing to anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/89 "2005-05-05T18:58:44Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > That’s right, it was me that hijacked it, and not some self-proclaimed advocate for the right’s of the mentally ill. > I’ll just run along back to Care Bear land aka MPSIMS. What the hell are you talking about? I never pushed myself as an advocate for the rights of the mentally ill; I merely criticized your characterization of **Bosda** ’s “witty ripostes” as being light-hearted. And I believe the actual hijack came in the first few posts of the thread, even if it was a parody of lawmakers. So we’ve had about three or four hijacks by now. I didn’t think the Prozac slam was funny, but I wasn’t offended. It’s a pretty tired response when someone just doesn’t want to bother actually answering whomever called them down, deserved or not. At any rate, I saw **Bosda** admit to being wrong on another thread, so I’m willing to cut him some slack for now. And **HelenTroy**? I’ll meet you on the football field after school. And I’ll have my old cheerleading uniform on too. And then we’ll see who’s the toughest…cheerleader…um, yeah. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![HelenTroy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helentroy/32/86_2.png) [@HelenTroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelenTroy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/90 "2005-05-05T19:03:47Z")
> [@Nocturne](#): > > And **HelenTroy**? I’ll meet you on the football field after school. And I’ll have my old cheerleading uniform on too. And then we’ll see who’s the toughest…cheerleader…um, yeah. 😃 See, now that’s the spirit! (We’ve got spirit, yes we do. We’ve got spirit, how 'bout you?) I can still shake my pom poms with the best of them. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/91 "2005-05-05T19:59:28Z")
> [@HelenTroy](#): > > See, now that’s the spirit! (We’ve got spirit, yes we do. We’ve got spirit, how 'bout you?) I can still shake my pom poms with the best of them. \ Cite? Please og let there be a cite. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/92 "2005-05-05T20:04:51Z")
Uh, **Harb**? Pom-poms are those big balls of crepe-like paper strips that cheerpersons flail about with school-spirited abandon. Just so you don’t set yourself up for another bitter disappointment. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/93 "2005-05-05T21:51:49Z")
> [@Nocturne](#): > > And **HelenTroy**? I’ll meet you on the football field after school. And I’ll have my old cheerleading uniform on too. And then we’ll see who’s the toughest…cheerleader…um, yeah. 😃 Alright now! Two legal women in cheerleading outfits wrestling in the football field in front of guilt-free dirty old men! Can I get an “AMEN!” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/94 "2005-05-05T21:57:31Z")
> [@Yeticus Rex](#): > > Alright now! Two legal women in cheerleading outfits wrestling in the football field in front of guilt-free dirty old men! Can I get an “AMEN!” 😛 **AMEN!** ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/95 "2005-05-05T23:18:57Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Uh, **Harb**? Pom-poms are those big balls of crepe-like paper strips that cheerpersons flail about with school-spirited abandon. Just so you don’t set yourself up for another bitter disappointment. I know’s that. Got’s me a fetish I do. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/96 "2005-05-05T23:23:35Z")
I take it you’d have been a big fan (HA!) of [Sally Rand?](http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/bobhope/images/vcvg2.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/97 "2005-05-05T23:58:44Z")
Good Lord! I go away for a few hours and everybody stops jumping down eachother’s throats and starts having sex! I don’t have a cheerleader uniform dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/98 "2005-05-06T00:06:23Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > Good Lord! I go away for a few hours and everybody stops jumping down eachother’s throats and starts having sex! > I don’t have a cheerleader uniform dammit. Is it possible for one to have sex while down somebody’s…oh. Yeah. :eek: :o Nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/99 "2005-05-06T00:06:30Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > I don’t have a cheerleader uniform dammit. Just show up wearing a smile, and that’ll be good enough. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/100 "2005-05-06T00:07:34Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Just show up wearing a smile, and that’ll be good enough. You’re a very informal sort of fellow, eh **Tuck**? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404.md?page=6)