# Texas Solves All Major Social Problems

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [May 4, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404 "2005-05-04T17:28:22Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 12\
**Page:** 7

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**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\
**Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/121 "2005-05-06T21:37:10Z")

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> [@CarnalK](#):
>
> I thought you already posting all the clever bits about yourself there. 😉

Just in the one thread that was pointed out to me. I haven’t searched around to see if there were any others baout me, because I really just don’t care. Besides, if I were to join there and “defend me honor”, folks would just find someplace else to rip on me, and then I’d have to move over there, and so on, ad infinitum. I got bored with that kind of shit in middle school. I’d kinda like to think that I’d gotten a little wiser in the 20+ years since then.

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/122 "2005-05-06T22:01:01Z")

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> [@CarnalK](#):
>
> And **Bosda** , trying to make me feel ostracized is goddamn petty. And ineffective when it comes from the village idiot. Mostly petty though.

Nobody is trying to make you feel ostracized, silly!  
Of course not!  
We love you for what you _are_!  
A typical bastard. 🙂

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**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/123 "2005-05-07T01:03:59Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> **Excalibre** said:  
> Just don’t have your little snit in here. Christ, are you fucking five years old?

You’re junior modding is blowing me away with maturity.  
{{{{{hugs}}}}}  
**Tuckerfan** , do what you like - obviously. I’m pretty sure everyone believes your FOS on not visiting the anon boards but I don’t care. I’m not some big socializer on the web so I actually don’t follow you or really ever flame you there. I just participate in threads when they catch my attention.

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**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/124 "2005-05-07T01:24:44Z")

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I’ve got it.We tell them that watching scantily clad cheerleaders prevents homosexuality in young men. Trying to resolve that should keep them busy for a year or two. 😉

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**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/125 "2005-05-07T01:35:24Z")

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OMG **Harborwolf** , you’re on topic!  
I agree that playing to their stupidity and pregidous is the expedient route.

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**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/126 "2005-05-07T01:44:12Z")

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> [@CarnalK](#):
>
> **Tuckerfan** , do what you like - obviously. I’m pretty sure everyone believes your FOS on not visiting the anon boards but I don’t care. I’m not some big socializer on the web so I actually don’t follow you or really ever flame you there. I just participate in threads when they catch my attention.

Whatever. The simple fact of the matter is that at least one person out there feels the need to defend me against accusations made by people I’ll never meet and who will never have any influence over my life. Why they’re so worried about it, I don’t know. In the end, even the postings we all make here, are just so much blather, and I for one don’t intend to lose any sleep over it. If you doubt my word, then take a look at the [Pitting I got from **duffer**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=312325). You’ll notice that I _did_ post to that thread, I didn’t slam **duffer** , I simply informed him of a few things that he wasn’t aware of, and moved on. _Everyone_ else, however, pretty much dogpiled **duffer** , so much so, that he had the thread closed. Now, if you want to believe that those folks are all socks of mine, go ahead, but you’re deluding yourself.

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**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/127 "2005-05-07T01:58:04Z")

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Look, I don’t know what you think I’m accusing you of but here in this thread it totals this:

-You’re oversexed  
-You read and post on the DJ anon boards  
The first one was just a jab because of the inevitable “I like cheerleaders” hijack going on here. The second one was because you brought it up.

I don’t think everyone who agrees with you or does overzealous attacks on you is your sock. You’ve actually given me reason to post some of the longer bit I referred to earlier.

There are characters over at the anon I like to call “Magical Trolls”. They have taught me a little about my own paranoia and, aw shucks, life. The face value of the first thing you notice someone post does not give you enough info to write a biography.

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**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/128 "2005-05-07T03:12:29Z")

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> [@DoctorJ](#):
>
> He just wants to see football as it’s supposed to be–strapping young men in tight pants, running around, getting all sweaty, grappling together, muscles tensed, occasionally falling into big piles of quivering man-flesh, rewarding good plays with a firm slap on the ass.
> 
> See, nothing sexual about that at all. Nope, nothing.

So explain to me why I _love_ Queer as Folk, but can’t stand football.

E.

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**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/129 "2005-05-07T03:32:57Z")

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[QUOTE=CarnalK]  
OMG **Harborwolf** , you’re on topic!  
QUOTE]

Oh mah gawd! I know. I was totally on topic there.

Now, hands up. Who likes fruit?

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**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/130 "2005-05-07T03:33:58Z")

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Woohoo coding. :smack:

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**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/131 "2005-05-07T04:54:40Z")

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> [@Fear Itself](#):
>
> [Male cheerleaders have long history in the US](http://stopbush.textamerica.com/?r=1611473), and some find them offensive no matter what they wear.

Well, in that case, let’s see them out of those baggy pants and letter sweaters and into [something to really offend the bluenoses](http://www.savage-men.com/). Although for that get-up one would hope the screening trials would weed out the [less suitable candidates](http://www.afunworld.com/celebrity-pictures/picture-502.htm).

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**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\
**Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texas-solves-all-major-social-problems/302404/132 "2005-05-10T03:07:52Z")

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_The Daily Show_ ran an interview with the half-wit who wrote the bill. According to him, sexy cheerleading gives you AIDS. :rolleyes:

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