# Texting hours etiquette. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 17, 2011, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032 "2011-08-17T14:31:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/41 "2011-08-17T17:00:24Z")
> [@gallan](#): > > But this has me curious. I’d be interested in finding out the usage habits of the people who think it’s rude. If you think it’s rude to send a text at 1:00 am, do you own a smartphone? Do you use your phone for email, IM, appointment reminders, or anything other than talk and text? Does your phone frequently and regularly give you notifications throughout the day and night? Or is it mostly silent except when you’re receiving calls and texts? Yes, I own a smartphone. Yes, I use it for email, Gtalk, Yahoo instant messenger (occasionally), and appointment reminders. It gives me audible notifications for texts and calls and for gtalk if the phone is on. It is, however, mostly silent unless I’m getting calls or texts, unless I have an alarm set or something. I think this is going to end up being more a function of age and hanging out with people that keep more-or-less normal hours than of smartphone usage. ---
**Author:** ![brendon\_small](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brendon_small/32/17101_2.png) [@brendon\_small](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brendon_small)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/42 "2011-08-17T17:21:08Z")
Slight Hijack: > [@Moonlitherial](#): > > [snip]…Cell programming opportunity! Time of day profiles for alert settings. Someone get on that please…[snip] While not true of all phones, I am fairly certain that my last phone (mytouch slide) could do this. I could pick a time for the profile to go to silent/vibrate only, which was at work (8-3:30 m-f), pick a time where it would be silent for notifications (email/text) but ring, which was at night (11:00pm-6:00am, m-f), and when it would be normal (all other times). I don’t think I used this very long, as I dropped it in water and ended up with a different phone, but I am fairly certain the technology (software wise) exists and is used on some phones… Brendon Small ---
**Author:** ![thatguyjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6de8d8/32.png) [@thatguyjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thatguyjeff)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/43 "2011-08-17T18:08:10Z")
Isn’t at least part of purpose of the text message is that I can contact someone when it’s convenient for me to do so and they can read/respond when it’s convenient for them to do so? With a phone call, it has to be when I’m available to make the call and they are available to receive the call at the same time - otherwise I’m just leaving a message. What’s the point of a text message then? ---
**Author:** ![Terraplane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/44 "2011-08-17T18:41:41Z")
> [@thatguyjeff](#): > > What’s the point of a text message then? If you avoid sending texts in the middle of the night that still leaves you with the majority of the day to use text messages in the way you describe. ---
**Author:** ![Silophant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Silophant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silophant)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/45 "2011-08-17T19:12:06Z")
As far as receiving texts while I’m asleep goes, I’m a fairly sound sleeper, and the beep my phone makes when it’s set to ring usually isn’t enough to wake me up. If it did, and some nights when I’m having trouble sleeping it does, I set my phone to silent. As far as sending texts goes, it’s like several people have said so far: it’s your phone, it’s your responsibility to silence it when you don’t want it waking you up. There are people who have specifically asked me to not text them late at night, and I abide by those requests, but it’s not my default behavior. I appreciate that, on dumbphones, it may be non-trivial to have calls ring and texts silenced, but I’ve never seen a phone that didn’t have “Alarm only” as a default sound profile. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/46 "2011-08-17T21:41:23Z")
My default settings are vibrate for everything except phone calls and set alarms [not schedule calendar stuff] so it wouldn’t wake me up. Of course my alarm clock is the general quarters alarm from a 688 sub =) Guarenteed to blast mrAru out of bed if he is still around when it goes off =)Have to love military conditioning 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/47 "2011-08-18T01:37:42Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > Almost everyone I would text would be awake at midnight, so that’s not an issue. But more to the point, a text isn’t necessarily stupid, just non-urgent. Most of the time, an immediate response to a text isn’t necessary. The point is, you have the choice whether or not to be notified of a message at any given time. Hell, on modern phones you can set different notifications for different people, so would only be woken at 2am by someone you wanted to hear from. > > Honestly, to complain that you are woken by a sound from your phone because you didn’t change the setting is no less ridiculous than complaining that you were woken by your alarm clock at 5am on saturday because you left it on. It’s your device, you need to set it to work how you want it. Really. Really? You think those are the same?? If I fail to shut of my alarm clock, it’s on me. There’s not some rude person on the other end of my alarm clock making it beep because they just couldn’t wait to make it beep tomorrow. Yeah, I might have the capability to go into my settings and figure out exactly when and how my phone should handle just about anything. But I shouldn’t have to do that, because I like to think that people KNOW better. Honestly, to say that it’s my fault because I have the capability and therefore _should_, is no less ridiculous than saying that because you have the capability you should shove a bleach bottle up your ass. ---
**Author:** ![rpinrd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@rpinrd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rpinrd)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/48 "2011-08-18T02:20:16Z")
I’m a nurse and many of my friends are nurses. About half of us work 7a - 7p, and about half of us work 7p - 7a, and several switch back and forth between the two. I long ago got over getting pissed about the random 3a or 3p text message that came while I was trying to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/49 "2011-08-18T02:23:25Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > What kind of emergency are you expecting anyway? Not me personally, but my mum - She’s waiting for the notification from the hospital that my stepdad’s liver has become available, and that they need to get to the hospital RIGHT NOW. ---
**Author:** ![moejoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@moejoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejoe)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/50 "2011-08-18T02:52:30Z")
Am I the only person on the planet who turns her phone OFF before going to sleep? Huh. But then I also have it set for no sound notifications at all. If I want to know if I have a call or email or text I just pull the phone out of my bag and look at it. ---
**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/51 "2011-08-18T03:08:37Z")
Depends on the relationship. I have friends I would text ANY time, but most of them are night owls. I have some friends I’m not so close to, or know they go to bed early, and I text them during certain times. Depends on the relationship and their sleeping time. ---
**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/52 "2011-08-18T03:10:29Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Uh, no. > > My phone is on vibrate almost 100% of the time. It won’t wake me up. I’m not so self-important as to think there’s _anything_ I need to be available to attend to at 3 AM. I’m also sort of shocked by how many people don’t already turn their phones off at night. What kind of emergency are you expecting anyway? I thought you can’t expect an emergency… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/53 "2011-08-18T03:31:16Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > What kind of emergency are you expecting anyway? In addition to the elderly relative and nurse friends, I have and 18 year old and a 6 year old. The 6 year old spends some nights at her Dad’s, and the 18 year old is…well, an 18 year old. I make it a point to always have my phone on with the sound up at night, because I’m always “on-call” as a mom. > [@gallan](#): > > But this has me curious. I’d be interested in finding out the usage habits of the people who think it’s rude. If you think it’s rude to send a text at 1:00 am, do you own a smartphone? Do you use your phone for email, IM, appointment reminders, or anything other than talk and text? Does your phone frequently and regularly give you notifications throughout the day and night? Or is it mostly silent except when you’re receiving calls and texts? I have a dumbphone, so I only gets calls and texts. I think it’s rude, the vast majority of the time, to text outside 8am-10pm. Note, however, that this is an hour to each side of my “calling” window of 9a-9p. I think of texts as “gentler” or less invasive than phone calls. If I’m lounging around with my sweetie after the kids have gone to bed, I’d rather get a text than a call. > [@Vihaga](#): > > I think this is going to end up being more a function of age and hanging out with people that keep more-or-less normal hours than of smartphone usage. Shall we start a spin off poll? What age ranges are you thinking? ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/54 "2011-08-18T03:53:46Z")
> [@Terraplane](#): > > If you avoid sending texts in the middle of the night that still leaves you with the majority of the day to use text messages in the way you describe. I think the point is, if you feel compelled to read your texts immediately, and expect others to read theirs immediately, it’s barely any different than a phone call. The _nature_ of phone calls (speaking) and texts (writing) suggests that they are much more different than that. If somebody has to wait until a time they know will be convenient for you to receive communications, why bother texting? Why not just call? ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/55 "2011-08-18T04:22:35Z")
Depends on who it is. My dad is up at 5 every morning and one of my friends usually goes to sleep around 4am. If I’m around at the same time and have something to tell them I’d send it over. Most people I know sleep with their phones both nearby and on, so I’d be wary of sending messages during times they are probably sleeping. Or after 9pm and before 9am, if I don’t know them well. I keep all notifications turned off on my cell phone the majority of the time. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/56 "2011-08-18T08:43:39Z")
> [@Silophant](#): > > Text anytime. If someone’s phone beeping once disturbs their sleep that much, they should silence their phone while they sleep. Emergencies happen. Family members get ill. In the days before I had a mobile I didn’t find out that my Dad was having a heart bypass until after it had happened (they brought the operation forward for some reason). I want my phone on so I can get these messages. And then there’s work stuff. I’m a sysadmin. I may not be on call 24/7 but I understand that when the shit hits the fan I am the person people come to. I have been woken up by such emergencies. To be honest, it isn’t hard to have a bit of respect, is it? ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/57 "2011-08-18T08:46:07Z")
> [@gallan](#): > > I vote for sending anytime, because even if the notification isn’t silenced, I can’t imagine that a quick beep is enough to wake most people up. Our surveillance system (Nagios) sends text messages out when there are issues. Believe me, they can wake you up. No-one on our surveillance team has had any issues with not being woken by text messages. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/58 "2011-08-18T09:11:40Z")
> [@gallan](#): > > But this has me curious. I’d be interested in finding out the usage habits of the people who think it’s rude. If you think it’s rude to send a text at 1:00 am, do you own a smartphone? Do you use your phone for email, IM, appointment reminders, or anything other than talk and text? Does your phone frequently and regularly give you notifications throughout the day and night? Or is it mostly silent except when you’re receiving calls and texts? I’m 37 and own two smartphones, my work HTC Desire and my personal iPhone. The work phone gets used for work email (no sound for arrivals as nothing that important comes via email, the really important stuff comes via SMS or an actual call), calls, appointment reminders and SMSes. The personal iPhone is used for email and general internet use. Due to the agreement I have at work regarding calls, all my SMSes and calls are made via my work phone. Most people don’t even know my other number. I don’t IM from phones. I used to, but these days SMS or Email is easier. One difference is that as no one really calls me on my iPhone it is more of a mobile internet device and as such I don’t take it to the bedroom. At night it is usually plugged into the Mac charging. Thus I don’t hear any email alerts as they are in another room. My Desire is in the bedroom when I sleep. It is my alarm clock and SMS and call sounds are on for work and/or emergency reasons. Thus I get more notifications on the iPhone but, as I said, that’s not in the room with me when I am sleeping. So just to be clear. A single beep will wake me up and in my experience will wake up most people. Not everyone, but most. We’ve had many people on our surveillance team and no one has had a problem being woken. For work reasons I probably shouldn’t turn off my phone unless I absolutely have to. Not that I get that much out-of-hours stuff, but when I do it is very important. For personal reasons, I have in the past missed very important things (my Father’s heart bypass, for example) due to not being contactable, so I am loathed to turn such things off. And yes, some people do use SMSes for these sort of things. ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/59 "2011-08-18T11:47:00Z")
> [@](#): > > **moejoe** : Am I the only person on the planet who turns her phone OFF before going to sleep? Huh. No, you’re not and I don’t understand why people keep their mobiles on because they use them as an alarm. I have two phones and both of them are capable of waking me up when switched off. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/60 "2011-08-18T12:05:44Z")
Are there really any phones where you can’t have a profile that will automatically change your settings by pressing one button? Every phone I’d had for the past ten _years_ has had this capability, and they weren’t all top-of-the-range phones. There’s far too much variation in my friends’ sleeping habits - and their time zones - for me to know that any time is definitely off-limits for something as quiet as a text. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032.md?page=4)