# Texting hours etiquette. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 17, 2011, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032 "2011-08-17T14:31:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/81 "2011-08-18T22:19:08Z")
> [@spark240](#): > > Again–if it’s a _friend_, whose _routine you know_, why text at all? Why not just make a telephone call? > > Nobody who believes in “texting hours” is giving a clear response here. What is it _for_, really, if not to be used differently than calling? As I’ve said several times, receiving SMS alerts from surveillance systems is a part of my job. As to why you do it instead of calling, well it is very similar to asking why IM when you can email. It is just another form of communication that some people prefer. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/82 "2011-08-19T06:34:38Z")
> [@Terraplane](#): > > I don’t expect people to read or respond to texts immediately. I also don’t expect them to change their notification settings twice a day so I can send them a text in the middle of the night without waking them up. It’s much easier for me to not send texts than it is for them to keep changing the settings on their phone. > > If you know the person you’re contacting doesn’t care then sure, go ahead. I have friends who don’t and I’ve sent them many a drunken text from the bar on a night out. But if you aren’t sure it seems polite to wait, especially since in this case being considerate costs less effort than the alternative. That’s the thing, though. We’re not saying they have to change the settings on the phone for us. They are the ones who have a problem, not us. We are using our phone the way we want to use it. They are insisting that we use our phone differently because it inconveniences them. And it’s not easier, at all. Remembering different rules for different people is not easier. And composing a text but then waiting to send it, hoping you remember later when they are up is not easier (so just doing the same for everyone is out, too.) It may offend people less, but it’s a lot more work. I know there are some stupid phones out there that don’t let you disable the sound for texting, while leaving on the sound for an alarm. So I am a little lenient there. But people who just won’t do it? I have no sympathy. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/83 "2011-08-19T09:03:36Z")
> [@Silophant](#): > > I appreciate that, on dumbphones, it may be non-trivial to have calls ring and texts silenced, but I’ve never seen a phone that didn’t have “Alarm only” as a default sound profile. iPhone does - switch it to silent mode, and the alarm still goes off… ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/84 "2011-08-19T18:23:08Z")
I don’t text as a substitute for conversation, so when it happens, it’s unusual enough that it’s usually important. I’ve got my phone set up so that e-mails and other notifications are silent, but text messages have a chime. It’s not enough of a chime that it disturbs other people, but it’s enough to make me pay attention. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/85 "2011-08-19T19:42:16Z")
> [@amanset](#): > > As I’ve said several times, receiving SMS alerts from surveillance systems is a part of my job. So don’t give your friends your work phone number. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/86 "2011-08-19T22:58:08Z")
I don’t text an awful lot, but isn’t there an easy option to delay sending until a certain time? That would seem like the best of both worlds – text when you think about it, but get it to the recipient at a reasonable hour. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/87 "2011-08-19T22:59:29Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > So don’t give your friends your work phone number. As I am pretty sure I posted somewhere here, as part of my agreement with work I can use my work mobile for personal calls. As such it is my mobile number, my iPhone is used more for mobile Internet stuff. I always have my Desire with me, my iPhone not as often. Maybe it isn’t in the US, but over here in Sweden such agreements regarding personal calls on work mobiles is quite common. I have been told what minutes and number of SMSes the contract includes and as long as I don’t go over that work is happy. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2011, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/88 "2011-08-20T14:30:19Z")
> [@amanset](#): > > As I am pretty sure I posted somewhere here, as part of my agreement with work I can use my work mobile for personal calls. As such it is my mobile number, my iPhone is used more for mobile Internet stuff. I always have my Desire with me, my iPhone not as often. > > Maybe it isn’t in the US, but over here in Sweden such agreements regarding personal calls on work mobiles is quite common. I have been told what minutes and number of SMSes the contract includes and as long as I don’t go over that work is happy. I’m in the UK, not the US, but most people I know who have a work phone keep it separate from their personal one. I would be no more inclined to give out my work mobile number, if I had one, to my friends than I would the office number at work. I should point out that if someone requests that I only text between certain hours, I would do that, I’m not asserting some overpowering right to text whenever at my convenience. I’m suggesting that the default is to text whenever, unless told otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2011, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032/89 "2011-08-21T01:28:12Z")
Depends who it is. My blackberry is set to “calls only” ringing, so I just periodically check my texts like I would e-mails. Thumbing through the posts here, though, it got me thinking: people who are a)don’t or can’t tweak their ring settings, or b) are too crotchety and old to try, are probably going to be pissed off if you text them late at night. However, they probably have e-mail or Facebook (I would suspect), so you can probably get a hold of them through one of those ways. Conversely, if someone DOES have a super cool smartphone and knows how to customize it and tweak the ring options and all that jazz, chances are they have e-mail sent to their phone, so if you send them an e-mail, they’ll get it just the same as a text. And if you wake them up by sending them an e-mail, well, that’s just [hilarious](http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=99). 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/texting-hours-etiquette/593032.md?page=4)