# THÅGGEN: The Made-Up IKEA Product Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 13, 2013, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835 "2013-11-13T17:18:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/1 "2013-11-13T17:18:11Z")
Browsing through the IKEA site always inspires one-part, “Ohh! I want that” and one-part confusion and/or mockery over their product names. I’m American, so foreign languages and letters with accents above them are inherently funny, so I figured a tedious thread cobbled together from particle board and allen wrenches might be fun — so, feel free to make up your own IKEA product. Description, size and costs optional, but encouraged. With that, I give you: **BLAÅRNN** Full size desk perfect for your dorm or dinning room. Available in Birch and Wenge veneer. 4,237 pieces. About the size of a small UFO. Allen wrench Included. **$2.48** ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/2 "2013-11-13T17:51:29Z")
**THÅGØMIZER** Decorative and functional device for protection from predatory dinosaurs. IKEA _guarantees_ no predatory dinosaur will attack the owner of this product! **$159.99** ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/3 "2013-11-13T18:13:48Z")
**FÜKKEN** Authentic Swedish sex pillow. Available in silk, suede, or velvet. Or leather if you’re into that. We don’t judge. Wench not included. $150 ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/4 "2013-11-13T18:23:06Z")
\Two out of the three in this thread fail as they use letters that are not present in the Swedish alphabet\ Actually it always amused me that the IKEA catalogue scene in “Fight Club” makes exactly the same mistake. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/5 "2013-11-13T18:24:12Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > **FÜKKEN** > > Authentic Swedish sex pillow. Available in silk, suede, or velvet. Or leather if you’re into that. We don’t judge. Wench not included. > > $150 Not available in Corduroy? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/6 "2013-11-13T18:35:51Z")
**TŪM** Traditional Scandinavian casket. Particle board, white maple. For bodies up to 2M, 150Kg. _shown with Klampf duvet with blue/white stripe cover. assembly required._ **$199** ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/7 "2013-11-13T18:43:59Z")
**MØØSEBIËT** Toothbrush holder. Made of white pine and includes a space where you can carve your initials in it. Get one for your sister! Assembly required. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/8 "2013-11-13T19:33:00Z")
> [@amanset](#): > > \Two out of the three in this thread fail as they use letters that are not present in the Swedish alphabet\ > > Actually it always amused me that the IKEA catalogue scene in “Fight Club” makes exactly the same mistake. Nonetheless, that’s an awesome scene. Swedish alphabet errors are bound to happen, so long as they _look_ right! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/9 "2013-11-13T19:34:02Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Not available in Corduroy? Ahh, for her pleasure? No. Sold out. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/10 "2013-11-14T13:28:31Z")
**SHITSTRÖM** Handy organiser to bundle all your crap into when guests are on the way. Simply spread the heavy-duty cotton pouch on the floor, sweep all your clutter inside and then fasten the drawstring and hang out of nearest window. Instant tidiness! Dimensions when unfolded: 70cm x 85cm. Max weight: 12kg (check strength of window catch before hanging). **£24.20** ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/11 "2013-11-14T16:43:50Z")
**BÖRK BÖRK BÖRK** Set of three chef’s knives. For da cookin ov da chicken. $99 ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/12 "2013-11-14T16:46:17Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > **BÖRK BÖRK BÖRK** > > Set of three chef’s knives. For da cookin ov da chicken. > > $99 Don’t forget da sveedish meatballs! ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/13 "2013-11-14T17:24:13Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > **FÜKKEN** > > Authentic Swedish sex pillow. Available in silk, suede, or velvet. Or leather if you’re into that. We don’t judge. Wench not included. > > $150 What about velour, or would that be vêłœúr? ---
**Author:** ![kath94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/67e7ee/32.png) [@kath94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kath94)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/14 "2013-11-14T17:37:26Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > **SHITSTRÖM** > > Handy organiser to bundle all your crap into when guests are on the way. Simply spread the heavy-duty cotton pouch on the floor, sweep all your clutter inside and then fasten the drawstring and hang out of nearest window. Instant tidiness! Dimensions when unfolded: 70cm x 85cm. Max weight: 12kg (check strength of window catch before hanging). > > **£24.20** I’d buy one of those! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/15 "2013-11-14T17:38:13Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > …would that be vêłœúr? No, that’s Old French. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/16 "2013-11-14T17:46:59Z")
[Lesser-known Ikea products.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=81396) ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/17 "2013-11-14T17:54:44Z")
**FRØEGEN** Classic trash receptacle with modern twist. Flip-down cup holders help utilize every inch in small quarters. Tough plastic design, available in red or paisley. Assembly required, allen wrench included. $48 ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/18 "2013-11-14T18:12:49Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > [Lesser-known Ikea products.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=81396) D’oh! I should’ve known it’s been done before. It’s been 12 years though, carry on! ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/19 "2013-11-14T18:20:18Z")
**SCHRÖDINGGŪR** Litter box for your cat or kitten. Box is completely enshrouded on every side with a clever two-way door allowing your companion access either way. You never have to see whether or not your pussy has done the deed, then just tip the box into the trash to clean and refill after an arbitrary amount of time. Makes for a wonderful burial casket when your cat moves on. Available in Cyanide and Uranium. Assembly required, Allen wrench included; or not. **$235.38** ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/20 "2013-11-16T18:14:37Z")
FRӒELØTTER A cleverly designed Murphy bed that folds flat into the wall, with sturdy arm and foot restraints, so you can fold the bed back into the wall while your overnight guest is strapped tightly into the bed. This allows for gathering of friends in small rooms by simply hiding your sleeping/non-sleeping guest away in the soundproof wall unit. $578 Optional timer/alarm to remind you they are strapped into the wall unit is $48 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835.md?page=2)