# THÅGGEN: The Made-Up IKEA Product Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 13, 2013, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835 "2013-11-13T17:18:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/21 "2013-11-16T18:18:58Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > **SHITSTRÖM** > > Handy organiser to bundle all your crap into when guests are on the way. Simply spread the heavy-duty cotton pouch on the floor, sweep all your clutter inside and then fasten the drawstring and hang out of nearest window. Instant tidiness! Dimensions when unfolded: 70cm x 85cm. Max weight: 12kg (check strength of window catch before hanging). > > **£24.20** I would also like one of these (I kind of do this already - I have a storage box that catches all the extra crap after I’ve finished cleaning up). > [@cmyk](#): > > **SCHRÖDINGGŪR** > > Litter box for your cat or kitten. Box is completely enshrouded on every side with a clever two-way door allowing your companion access either way. You never have to see whether or not your pussy has done the deed, then just tip the box into the trash to clean and refill after an arbitrary amount of time. Makes for a wonderful burial casket when your cat moves on. > > Available in Cyanide and Uranium. Assembly required, Allen wrench included; or not. > > **$235.38** I would also like one of these. I like the price of the unit in the OP - it seems more in keeping with the :eek: That’s Cheap! pricing at Ikea. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/22 "2013-11-16T21:45:09Z")
While you’re thinking, why not test your knowledge of current Ikea products (and Death Metal music) and have a quick game of [Ikea or Death](http://ikeaordeath.com/)? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/23 "2013-11-16T23:02:48Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > While you’re thinking, why not test your knowledge of current Ikea products (and Death Metal music) and have a quick game of [Ikea or Death](http://ikeaordeath.com/)? 😃 Did it. Won 'em all. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/24 "2013-11-16T23:09:51Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > FÜKKEN > > Authentic Swedish sex pillow. Available in silk, suede, or velvet. Or leather if you’re into that. We don’t judge. Wench not included. > > $150 > [@Intergalactic Gladiator](#): > > Not available in Corduroy? Early tests showed an unfortunate tendency to burst into flame due to friction. Even after generous application of fire retardants, there was still the noise issue. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/25 "2013-11-16T23:21:58Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > **FÜKKEN** > > Authentic Swedish sex pillow. Available in silk, suede, or velvet. Or leather if you’re into that. We don’t judge. Wench not included. But I thought all Ikea products came with Allen wenches! ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/26 "2013-11-17T01:07:36Z")
To my mind, the weirdest thing about IKEA names is that scattered amongst the strange looking umlauted scandinavianisms are normal sounding (if arbitrary) names like [Billy](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/search/?query=BILLY), [Albert](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00111994/), [Omar](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/30069762/), [Stopp](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/80227877/) (which, quite appropriately, is anti-slip rug underlay), and [Jules](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/S49884532/) (a chair). ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/27 "2013-11-17T01:18:22Z")
**YNIGVI** Helpful device that affects the minds of all your neighbors while they sleep, inculcating a desire to create an Enlightened Nordic Socialist Society. Runs on 240 volt current _only._ Will not work in the US. ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/28 "2013-11-17T01:38:27Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > To my mind, the weirdest thing about IKEA names is that scattered amongst the strange looking umlauted scandinavianisms are normal sounding (if arbitrary) names like [Billy](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/search/?query=BILLY), [Albert](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00111994/), [Omar](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/30069762/), [Stopp](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/80227877/) (which, quite appropriately, is anti-slip rug underlay), and [Jules](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/S49884532/) (a chair). It helps that chairs and desks in the Ikea system always get men’s names. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/29 "2013-11-17T02:13:51Z")
\*\*Barnställ \*\* Combination stroller, car seat and play set. Pentagonal hydrant wrench required. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/30 "2013-11-17T02:18:51Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > To my mind, the weirdest thing about IKEA names is that scattered amongst the strange looking umlauted scandinavianisms are normal sounding (if arbitrary) names like [Billy](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/search/?query=BILLY), [Albert](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00111994/), [Omar](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/30069762/), [Stopp](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/80227877/) (which, quite appropriately, is anti-slip rug underlay), and [Jules](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/S49884532/) (a chair). Or the $23 dining room set right next to the $94 fruit bowl. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/31 "2013-11-17T04:40:06Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > **SHITSTRÖM** > > Handy organiser to bundle all your crap into when guests are on the way. Simply spread the heavy-duty cotton pouch on the floor, sweep all your clutter inside and then fasten the drawstring and hang out of nearest window. Instant tidiness! Dimensions when unfolded: 70cm x 85cm. Max weight: 12kg (check strength of window catch before hanging). > > **£24.20** This is a seriously awesome idea! Instead of hanging it out a window, you could have a ceiling-mounted hook with a pulley system to bung it up and out of sight! So sort of like throwing a net from a ship, you lower the pouch, chuck all your junk, shoes, Lego and Thomas bits and hoist it up! Damn, you should patent this one. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/32 "2013-11-17T05:55:38Z")
**DÖRK** The ultimate gaming table, for players of Dungeons & Dragons and other role-playing games. Seats six, with special trays at each seating location for dice and character sheets, as well as bottle holders for your Mountain Dew. The surface of the table is embossed with a 1" square grid, and the surface can be written on with wet-erase or dry-erase markers. Available in Gygax White. **$847.52** ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/33 "2013-11-17T06:58:46Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > To my mind, the weirdest thing about IKEA names is that scattered amongst the strange looking umlauted scandinavianisms are normal sounding (if arbitrary) names like [Billy](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/search/?query=BILLY), [Albert](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00111994/), [Omar](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/30069762/), [Stopp](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/80227877/) (which, quite appropriately, is anti-slip rug underlay), and [Jules](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/S49884532/) (a chair). **ALAN** This handsome cylindrical holder fits nicely on your Blaårnn or any other surface to hold all your Allen wrenches in one convenient place. Hexagonal holes accommodate most sizes, and the base doubles as a handle so you don’t completely destroy your fingers putting together your Dörk. **27¢** — Sold Out. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/34 "2013-11-17T08:01:27Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > But I thought all Ikea products came with Allen wenches! You can have a wench named Allen if you want. Like we said, we don’t judge. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/35 "2013-11-17T13:20:02Z")
> [@Pork\_Rind](#): > > It helps that chairs and desks in the Ikea system always get men’s names. Do they? Are there guys in Sweden called [NOLMYRA](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/40233535/) or [LOCKSTA](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/30239651/) or [POÄNG](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/S09898965/), then? Billy, Albert and Omar are all shelves, but by no means do [all shelves](http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/search/?query=shelves) have regular male names like this (recognizable to me a such, anyway). ```auto [quote="cmyk, post:33, topic:673835"] **ALAN** This handsome cylindrical holder fits nicely on your Blaårnn or any other surface to hold all your Allen wrenches in one convenient place. Hexagonal holes accommodate most sizes, and the base doubles as a handle so you don't completely destroy your fingers putting together your Dörk. **27¢** — Sold Out. [/QUOTE] Oh come on, that makes *far* too much sense, even with the alternate spelling! The "Sold out" is a nice touch, though! :) ``` ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/36 "2013-11-17T18:51:02Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > **DÖRK** > > The ultimate gaming table, for players of Dungeons & Dragons and other role-playing games. Seats six, with special trays at each seating location for dice and character sheets, as well as bottle holders for your Mountain Dew. The surface of the table is embossed with a 1" square grid, and the surface can be written on with wet-erase or dry-erase markers. Available in Gygax White. > > **$847.52** You guys still aren’t getting it - that should be $84.75! Or maybe even $8.47. (But the table sounds sweeeeeeet! And the name is perfect!) > [@cmyk](#): > > **ALAN** > > This handsome cylindrical holder fits nicely on your Blaårnn or any other surface to hold all your Allen wrenches in one convenient place. Hexagonal holes accommodate most sizes, and the base doubles as a handle so you don’t completely destroy your fingers putting together your Dörk. > > **27¢** — Sold Out. Also a very good idea. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835/37 "2013-11-17T19:01:18Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > [Lesser-known Ikea products.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=81396) Thank you! I knew we had had such a thread years ago, but I just couldn’t find it. Good job on searching and finding! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thaggen-the-made-up-ikea-product-thread/673835.md?page=1)