# "Thank God I survived that accident" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 1, 2006, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860 "2006-08-01T09:30:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![LeftFootRightFoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f04885/32.png) [@LeftFootRightFoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeftFootRightFoot)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/1 "2006-08-01T09:30:53Z")
[Rant] What the FUCK is wrong with people that honestly think that bullshit? What, because you survived a car accident or something, “God” saved your ass? That’s fucking ridiculous. What about all of the blind people? Or crippled people? The kind from birth, no accident fucked them over. They’re screwed in life because this supposed “God” was truly pissed off and decided to fuck them over for life. I guess you dumbass religious morons out there are saying I’m just a raving lunatic, which is probably true. But should all those people fucked from birth with crippled movement, or no sight, or with no hearing be THANKING this fucker of a “God” (who I don’t think exists, it’s all a really shitty fairy tale) for not taking something else of value? In summary: Fuck you religious assholes that think god is responsible for all the good in this world, and everything bad is just a part of his “mysterious plan”. Say that to the starving children in Africa you fuckers. Tell them it’s the will of god that they die at birth, or as a baby, because god wills it so. Fuck you. [/rant] ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/2 "2006-08-01T09:33:09Z")
Thank God for decaf. You should try it. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/3 "2006-08-01T09:41:31Z")
Thank god its Friday! Well not really, but it is my last night of work, and it is my Friday. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/4 "2006-08-01T09:44:26Z")
> [@LeftFootRightFoot](#): > > What, because you survived a car accident or something, “God” saved your ass? That’s fucking ridiculous. What about all of the blind people? Or crippled people? The kind from birth, no accident fucked them over. They’re screwed in life because this supposed “God” was truly pissed off and decided to fuck them over for life. As it turns out, [God has bipolar disorder.](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28484) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/5 "2006-08-01T09:49:49Z")
A sense of humor, too. Sometimes He doesn’t just “write straight in sloppy lines” but turn the page around while He’s writing… ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_LaStrega](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Amber\_LaStrega](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_LaStrega)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/6 "2006-08-01T09:50:43Z")
> [@ParentalAdvisory](#): > > Thank god its Friday! Well not really, but it is my last night of work, and it is my Friday. It’s my Friday, too! Yay For Friday! [err … Monday or Tuesday whatever] I’m pulling for [[http://www.flickr.com/photos/shane-richelle/203700628/](http://www.flickr.com/photos/shane-richelle/203700628/)"]this]([http://www.flickr.com/photos/shane-richelle/203700628/](http://www.flickr.com/photos/shane-richelle/203700628/)) wee one. But yeah. Me, being a faithless wild pagan I pretty much agree with the original post. I especially like when sports guys [yeah, usually guys] say … “and I thank Jesus…” and/or “… God …” ['cause I know they’d want me to capitalize that there ‘G’ though I’m not wont to] “… for being on my side …” or some such nonsense. So … in other words … "G"od hates the other team. Sucks to be them eh? [please note, I’m an idiot fan[atic] Cubs fan so … yeah] ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_LaStrega](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Amber\_LaStrega](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_LaStrega)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/7 "2006-08-01T09:52:17Z")
oh hell … I suck. here’s the link that didn’t work above BEWARE … it broke my heart and may break yours [![Imgur](https://live.staticflickr.com/70/203700628_da486bf613_b.jpg "Sheridan") ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/shane-richelle/203700628/) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/8 "2006-08-01T10:09:23Z")
> [@Amber LaStrega](#): > > It’s my Friday, too! Yay For Friday! [err … Monday or Tuesday whatever] > > I’m pulling for [[Sheridan | www.babiesonline.com/babies/h/help\_sheridan | Shane Kerr | Flickr](http://www.flickr.com/photos/shane-richelle/203700628/)"]this]([Sheridan | www.babiesonline.com/babies/h/help\_sheridan | Shane Kerr | Flickr](http://www.flickr.com/photos/shane-richelle/203700628/)) wee one. But yeah. Me, being a faithless wild pagan I pretty much agree with the original post. > > I especially like when sports guys [yeah, usually guys] say … “and I thank Jesus…” and/or “… God …” ['cause I know they’d want me to capitalize that there ‘G’ though I’m not wont to] “… for being on my side …” or some such nonsense. > > So … in other words … "G"od hates the other team. Sucks to be them eh? > > [please note, I’m an idiot fan[atic] Cubs fan so … yeah] My local team has done better this year than in its 100+ years of history. Some people are saying it’s because of the coach (who’s left btw, got hired by the team he’s been a fan of since childhood); some people say it’s been a fluke; some people say it’s the fault of a fruit-stealing, footrace-betting Sorbonne student who was very much into international travel: they say the team had 12 players on the field the whole time, instead of the usual 11. 500 years of the birth of Francisco de Jaso y Azpilcueta, aka St Francis Xavier. ¡Osasuuuuuna, osasuuuuuna, oé, oé, oéeeeee! When morons survive death at the horns of the bulls, we claim it’s St Fermin’s Cloak at work. So while we may have separation of church and state and over 50% of local young adults (18-30) say they’re agnostic/atheist, we don’t seem to be anywhere near separation of church and party. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/9 "2006-08-01T10:17:25Z")
Todd Flanders, at bedtime prayer: …and thank You for sending Lisa to save us from the bug You sent… ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_LaStrega](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Amber\_LaStrega](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_LaStrega)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/10 "2006-08-01T10:19:09Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > My local team has done better this year than in its 100+ years of history. Some people are saying it’s because of the coach (who’s left btw, got hired by the team he’s been a fan of since childhood); some people say it’s been a fluke; some people say it’s the fault of a fruit-stealing, footrace-betting Sorbonne student who was very much into international travel: they say the team had 12 players on the field the whole time, instead of the usual 11. > > 500 years of the birth of Francisco de Jaso y Azpilcueta, aka St Francis Xavier. > > ¡Osasuuuuuna, osasuuuuuna, oé, oé, oéeeeee! \<----- err, I don’t think that’s what I typed … but I’ve had a cold one in my presense for better than 3-hours) > > When morons survive death at the horns of the bulls, we claim it’s St Fermin’s Cloak at work. > > So while we may have separation of church and state and over 50% of local young adults (18-30) say they’re agnostic/atheist, we don’t seem to be anywhere near separation of church and party. By “your local team” I’m assuming soccer? Incorrect? And yay for doing better than it’s 100-year-plus history … unfortunately the Cubs cannot boast such. Dammit. I live in the land of Vikings (Minnesota aye) and it’s been a _blast_ watching them suck-ass … as I’m originally from Iowa and all my fave teams are from the Chi-town. Yeah. Okay. Outside the [personally] hated White-phlox Chicago teams have been less than … great. Oh gods. I’d give my left nipple for a Cubs World Serious run. Hell … I’d clip said nipple off on video and put it up on YouTube for fucks-sake. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/11 "2006-08-01T10:40:38Z")
> [@Amber LaStrega](#): > > By “your local team” I’m assuming soccer? Incorrect? Soccer, yes. They were second in the “Copa del Rey” and high enough in the League to enter the Champions’ League (former Eurocup I think). I don’t really bother following the competitions: with a brother who rats out stats like he was talking about baseball and three referees in the family (gramps, my female cousin on that side and a male cousin on the other side) I just achieve saturation easily. But it’s still fun when we beat up one of the big teams and you can make fun of the people who choose their team because “it’s the team that wins”. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/12 "2006-08-01T11:29:38Z")
> [@Amber LaStrega](#): > > [please note, I’m an idiot fan[atic] Cubs fan so … yeah] Me too, so it’s clear that God truly hates us. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/13 "2006-08-01T11:38:40Z")
When I totaled my econoline ( and the other guys’ car, too.) and both of us walked away with only a scratch ( me from a coffee mug hitting me on the head) all I could think of was " I want to thank the engineers who designed this vehicle.) This thought occurred after, " Oh fuck. oh fuck I’m glad the kids weren’t in the car with me. Oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck." ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/14 "2006-08-01T13:17:13Z")
I had no idea David Hume was a poster on this messageboard. Never have I heard the “Problem of Evil” argument put forth so… eloquently. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/15 "2006-08-01T13:49:59Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > As it turns out, [God has bipolar disorder.](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28484) I bet He’s a Red Sox fan. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/16 "2006-08-01T13:55:45Z")
> [@LeftFootRightFoot](#): > > In summary: Fuck you religious assholes that think god is responsible for all the good in this world, and everything bad is just a part of his “mysterious plan”. Say that to the starving children in Africa you fuckers. Tell them it’s the will of god that they die at birth, or as a baby, because god wills it so. Fuck you. OMG, you’re right! There can’t be a god! You’ve shown me the folly of my ways! I’ve wasted so much of my life! How could I have been so stupid? :rolleyes: When come back, bring original rant. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/17 "2006-08-01T13:57:18Z")
If the OP means the criticism of the phrase in the title literally, he’s a dork. I’m a Pagan who doesn’t believe that the Gods govern our day-to-day affairs, and I still say “Thank God” just as part of the language. It just means “Isn’t it fabulous that…” Hell, I haven’t been a Christian for eight years, and I still say “Jesus” to express exasperation (or, for that matter, “Hell” to express insouciance). Not everyone who would use the expression “Thank God” literally means they believe that God has specially graced them, as opposed to the poor sucker whose legs are off. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/18 "2006-08-01T14:38:45Z")
**matt mcl** , I’m glad to know I’m not the only pagan who does that! I do, however, get frustrated with smarmy “Christians” who “God’s Will” everything under the sun. If some kid getting killed by a drunk driver is “God’s Will” it makes me even more sure I am correct in not believing in/worshiping Him. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/19 "2006-08-01T14:38:48Z")
I’d give more weight to the OP if he/she believed in God but was offended by the reliance put upon God’s works by those that only believe when it’s convenient- survivors of a car crash, musicians who promote misogyny through their music and then thank God for their awards, etc. But it appears the OP is just irate at “religious morons” and “religious assholes” in general, just because of their mere existence. And to that I say, fuck you right back. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860/20 "2006-08-01T14:55:47Z")
I like Marc Maron’s vignette on the subject: “Why did he have to die?” “Because God decided it was time.” “What a fucking asshole!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-i-survived-that-accident/366860.md?page=2)