# Thank God we don't go to church! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 23, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-we-dont-go-to-church/286257 "2005-01-23T16:37:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-we-dont-go-to-church/286257/1 "2005-01-23T16:37:56Z")
Our front yard and driveway are a river. Our sidewalk has little geysers. It would appear a water main has busted. If we were church-going folk like our neighbors it may have been hours before it was detected. I got to see it right when it started–we got up to eat the slow cooker oatmeal I made and let out the dog. When I got Lucy back in I noticed the neighbor’s yard was brown and liquid. “Hmmm,” my sleep addled brain thought, “Brown. Liquid. Decidedly un-snow-like.” I then made a mad dash around my house trying to find the phone book. At moments of extreme emotion, like when I saw the new Jimmy Johns in town or _The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy_ preview I lose coherency. This was a moment of extreme emotion. All I could say to Dan was “Phonebook…phonebook…Utilities…phonebook…” I looked out front again and it seemed now our yard was brown. While calling the water company and muttering the words “water” and “yard” I got all the laundry off the basement floor and the pets upstairs. There is no water in the basement yet. But the back yard neighbors have a river running right into the window-pits in their basement. Poor church-going neighbors. I told the nice fire man to check on them. Updates to continue… ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-we-dont-go-to-church/286257/2 "2005-01-23T17:29:05Z")
> [@Little Bird](#): > > Our front yard and driveway are a river. Our sidewalk has little geysers. It would appear a water main has busted. If we were church-going folk like our neighbors it may have been hours before it was detected. > > I got to see it right when it started–we got up to eat the slow cooker oatmeal I made and let out the dog. When I got Lucy back in I noticed the neighbor’s yard was brown and liquid. “Hmmm,” my sleep addled brain thought, “Brown. Liquid. Decidedly un-snow-like.” I then made a mad dash around my house trying to find the phone book. At moments of extreme emotion, like when I saw the new Jimmy Johns in town or _The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy_ preview I lose coherency. This was a moment of extreme emotion. All I could say to Dan was “Phonebook…phonebook…Utilities…phonebook…” I looked out front again and it seemed now our yard was brown. While calling the water company and muttering the words “water” and “yard” I got all the laundry off the basement floor and the pets upstairs. There is no water in the basement yet. But the back yard neighbors have a river running right into the window-pits in their basement. Poor church-going neighbors. I told the nice fire man to check on them. > > Updates to continue… Well, you might on occasion have things a little better for your short time here on Earth, but you will spend eternity in a Lake Of Fire. So there! PS: I hope they got things shut down before it got too deep in your basement. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-we-dont-go-to-church/286257/3 "2005-01-23T17:32:29Z")
Let’s hope the brown is dirt, and it isn’t a sewer main that broke. Is there a “bouquet” in the air? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-we-dont-go-to-church/286257/4 "2005-01-23T17:36:33Z")
No “bouquet.” It’s the water main. They just turned it off. They think it broke right in front of our house under the street. So they’re gonna have to dig up the street. Yay! On the plus side there’s only a little water in the basement seeping through a few little holes. I circled them with a purple marker so we can get it fixed later. Now I have to go to my mom and dad’s house to get away from this. I would like to watch back hoes dig up a street, that would be cool. But I just bought this place in November and this is all a little much. Adventures in Home Ownership! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-we-dont-go-to-church/286257/5 "2005-01-23T17:37:48Z")
Also, the nice firemen sandbagged the river flowing into the neighbor’s window. So that’s nice. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-we-dont-go-to-church/286257/6 "2005-01-24T14:15:20Z")
24 hours later: The water is back on, the street is filled back in (danger horses around the area), our yard is a disaster. I must post pics. Updates to follow! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-we-dont-go-to-church/286257/7 "2005-01-24T14:45:38Z")
I’m glad everything’s ok. I’m especially glad for you that it wasn’t a sewer backup **Little Bird**. That ain’t pleasant. During the last big flood here we had sewage coming up through the sewer grates. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-we-dont-go-to-church/286257/8 "2005-01-24T18:10:23Z")
> [@David Simmons](#): > > Well, you might on occasion have things a little better for your short time here on Earth, but you will spend eternity in a Lake Of Fire. So there! Not much of a threat to anybody living in the Midwest in January. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-god-we-dont-go-to-church/286257/9 "2005-01-24T19:48:19Z")
Today there’s a lot going on at the houses behind us. They suffered more damage than we did since they’re down the hill. The people who had the river running into their basement window have a whole truck full of stuff I’m sure is ruined. Poor guys. I hope they don’t blame us at all…