# Thank you, Adam Sandler, or WORST SONG EVER!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 28, 2002, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283 "2002-11-28T03:10:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/1 "2002-11-28T03:10:08Z")
You aren’t funny. Let’s get that out front right away. Emo Phillips is a comic geneius compared to you. Hell, Carrot Top is a comic genius compared to you. You aren’t funny. You can’t act. You can’t sing. You can’t write songs for shit. Proof? _The Thanksgiving Song_ I will admit that I couldn’t really understand many of the words besides Turkey, Turkey, Turkey, white meat, dark meat and something about eating in a big brown shoe. Why couldn’t I undertsand the words? 2 reasons: 1. The drunken screeches/screams/bleatings of bombed coeds and frat boys pretty much drowned you out. 2. You were _singing_, and I use the word is it’s absolute loosest sense, in your \*baby talk \*voice. You may think this is a lame rant, but then you didn’t have to listen to the local radio station playing this song **three** fucking times an hour from 7:00 AM to 3:30 PM today. Why didn’t I change the station or listen to a CD? A fair question(s). You can only usually get one radio station where I work, and the CD player on the boombox was broken. I wonder how many blowjobs you’ve had to give to get where you are in the entertainment industry, 1000? 5000? 10,000? ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/2 "2002-11-28T03:21:18Z")
Google, “sandler thanksgiving song lyrics”. [http://www.reallyrics.com/lyrics/A001400020010.asp](http://www.reallyrics.com/lyrics/A001400020010.asp) An excerpt. > [@](#): > > White meat, dark meat > You just can’t lose > I fell off my moped > And I got a bruise > > Turkey in the oven > And the buns in the toaster > I’ll never take down > My Cheryl Tiegs poster > > Wrap the turkey up > In aluminum foil > My brother likes to masturbate > With baby oil > > Turkey and sweet potato pie > Sammy Davis Jr. > Only had one eye > > Turkey for the girls and > Turkey for the boys > My favorite kind of pants > Are corduroys > > Gobble gobble goo and > Gobble gobble gickel > I wish turkey > Only cost a nickel > > Oh I love turkey on Thanksgiving > > Happy Thanksgiving everybody! . . . . . . . . . . . . Good God. _Dick Cheney_ is a comic genius compared to Adam Sandler. The rant was nowhere _near_ strong enough. I hereby give you permission to go home, work on it, and repost it. Make us proud, WSLer. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/3 "2002-11-28T03:24:08Z")
Aww. I think he’s cute, in a psychotic sort of way. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/4 "2002-11-28T03:57:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > \*\*Good God. > > _Dick Cheney_ is a comic genius compared to Adam Sandler.\*\* Well said. I think Sandler has hopes of being a latter day Irving Berlin (the composer of such classic holiday oriented songs as _White Christmas_ and _Easter Parade_ among many other great songs). It’s sad Sandler has no talent. ---
**Author:** ![\_etalhea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/779978/32.png) [@\_etalhea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_etalhea)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/5 "2002-11-28T04:03:24Z")
You left out the best verse: _Wrap up the turkey in aluminum foil My brother likes to masturbate with baby oil_ ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/6 "2002-11-28T04:09:07Z")
I disagree with people saying Sandler has no talent. I find MANY of his movies entertaining. Sure, it’s almost always slapstick humor, but so what? Sure, that Thanksgiving song might suck (I’ve personally never heard it). Going by the lyrics alone, I would say that the vocal part of the song sucks. But, how many of you are criticizing his work without ever having tried to do the same thing? Hell, I’m a musician, capable of playing several instruments reasonably well, and I still can’t write a song worth jack. How many of you get cast in movies and write your own music? ---
**Author:** ![Oblong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c0e974/32.png) [@Oblong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblong)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/7 "2002-11-28T04:18:33Z")
I heard this on the way to work yesterday and had the same thoughts. The way those people in the audience were howling you’d have thought Graham Chapman was raised from the dead and Python was back. This song is something that anybody could have written on the spur of the moment, which sounds exactly like what Sandler did. I was hoping he’d go the way of Howie Mandel and that “My name is Bobby” crap. But I doubt it. He’s got his own production company in Hollywood and I read somewhere that he was the most profitable movie star when you factor in the budgets of his movies and the return on them. ---
**Author:** ![NightRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NightRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NightRabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/8 "2002-11-28T04:41:05Z")
I enjoy the Hanukka song. But now it’s just getting old. That kid from SNL writes better songs at this point… and that’s not saying much. Did I spell Hanukka wrong? Probably. ---
**Author:** ![Tanaqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Tanaqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tanaqui)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/9 "2002-11-28T04:44:54Z")
I have no doubt this song sucks an incredible amount, but to be fair, **Punch Drunk Love** was a good movie and he is obviously capable of acting. Too bad he wastes it on idiocy 99% of the time. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/10 "2002-11-28T04:54:50Z")
Oh, I dunno…Adam Sandler certainly isn’t one of my favorites, but I enjoy listening to both the Thanksgiving and Hanukkah songs at this time of year. Yes, they’re silly. Yes, they were both probably written spur-of-the-moment. And yes, Adam Sandler somewhat sings…sort of. Mindless entertainment is what I call 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/11 "2002-11-28T04:56:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tanaqui \* > \*\*I have no doubt this song sucks an incredible amount, but to be fair, **Punch Drunk Love** was a good movie and he is obviously capable of acting. Too bad he wastes it on idiocy 99% of the time. \*\* Note, however, that he didn’t write the thing, didn’t produce the thing, merely starred in it. I’ve never found Sandler to be funny. His attempts at humor have always struck me as boring and predictable. I had thought that SNL was his first TV gig, then yesterday, I was flipping through the channels and spotted a very young Sandler on _The Fresh Prince_. Have to wonder if Sandler’s like that other no talent “comedic” hack, Pauly Shore, who owes his career to who his parents were. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/12 "2002-11-28T04:58:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Note, however, that he didn’t write the thing, didn’t produce the thing, merely starred in it. What relevance does this have to his ability to act? ---
**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/13 "2002-11-28T05:01:05Z")
I dunno, I always thought Emo Phillips was pretty funny. > [@](#): > > My girlfriend said to me, “Emo, I’m seeing another man.” So I said “Well…rub you eyes, or…something…” ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/14 "2002-11-28T05:09:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monster104 \* > \*\*What relevance does this have to his ability to act? \*\* Nothing, I wanted to head off any misguided thoughts that someone might have in regards to Sandler’s talent. Since most of the movies he’s been in are ones that he’s written or cowritten, someone might quite naturally assume that this film was _also_ one that he’d written and then try to argue that he was capable of producing decent, intelligent writing using that film as an example. Oliver Stone, in one of his saner moments, is reported to have said, “There are no bad actors, only bad directors.” Food for thought. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/15 "2002-11-28T06:20:02Z")
Hi, I’m Rilchiam and I’m an Adam Sandler fan. I like the Thanksgiving Song. I like the Chanuka Song. I like the Mother’s Day song, and the “I’m Crazy Newspaper Face! Gimme some candy!” routine. I liked **Billy Madison** and **The Wedding Singer** and **Big Daddy** (didn’t see **Happy Gilmore** ). I have a copy of “What the Hell Happened to Me?!” and I bust a gut listening to the “Goat” and “Road Trip” routines. I like his stuff. I think he’s funny. I’m not offering explanations or apologies. I’m just saying. **NOW GIMME SOME CANDY!!** > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*I had thought that SNL was his first TV gig, then yesterday, I was flipping through the channels and spotted a very young Sandler on _The Fresh Prince_. \*\* You must mean **The Cosby Show**. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/16 "2002-11-28T06:37:45Z")
I agree with **Rilchiam**. Believe it or not, the Thanksgiving Song is not actually _supposed_ to have good lyrics. I know, I know, it’s a shock. It’s supposed to sound like it was written on the spur of the moment, which it probably was. Same vein as the Halloween sketch that Rilch described: the whole point is to have the stupidest, crappiest costumes imaginable. You may not think it’s funny, but quite a few people do. I’m one of them. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/17 "2002-11-28T06:54:59Z")
_Eight Crazy Nights_ looks like one of the worst movies ever. They always put the best jokes in the trailers, and even if you have a juvenile sense of humor there is nothing in it that resembles comedy. It could only appeal to a very small child, but the movie’s rated PG-13 for “crude and sexual humor”. That movie should not have been made. I actually don’t hate Adam Sandler. I saw him on David Letterman years before he was famous, and he was funny. No one in the audience was laughing though. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/18 "2002-11-28T07:03:09Z")
Bah. There’s always so much Sandler-bashing on this board. “The Thanksgiving Song” isn’t his best, but it’s okay. The version with the screaming audience that the radio stations seem to love, is a terrible performance. The album cut is much clearer. It’s also not his best song. Check out “The Lonesome Kicker” sometime. Here’s an excerpt: > [@](#): > > My helmet is equipped with a tiny face mask > What it possibly could protect, I do not know > The other guys on the team > Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads > And also like to hide the special shoe > I need to kick in the snow > > People think it’s so easy > To kick a field goal from the 30 yard line > They forget to add seven yards for the snap > And 10 more 'cause the goal posts are pushed way back > > In 1974, the uprights were right on the goal line > But some of the players were running into them > And getting hurt > So screw the kicker > Who cares about the kicker? > > But I kick that ball > And I pray it goes straight > If it does > The coach says “Good job, number 8” > He doesn’t even know my name is > Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr. > But that’s the life I live > The Lonesome Kicker Now, as to the artistic merit (or lack thereof) of Sandlers movies, well, see, sometimes, I’m not up for a deep, complex movie with an intricate plot and stellar acting. Sometimes I want to kick back and relax, possibly get wasted, and laugh my ass off. Sandler is, hands down, the most talented person making those types of films nowadays. Also, the frequent small parts by Steve Buscemi and Norm McDonald (best only in small doses anyway) in most of Sandler’s movies never fail to leave my sides splitting. Actually, I like a few of the movies made by ex-SNLers. I mean, most are just rock-bottom, even from a purely comedic viewpoint, but there have been a few gems. I absolutely loved “Joe Dirt,” for some reason. None of this means that I don’t enjoy well-though-out, -scripted, and -acted films, though. Quite the contrary; I like them far more than the Sandler fare. If a movie can make me cry, I’d pay ten times more to see it than I would for the “The Waterboy.” That doesn’t mean that there isn’t a time and a place for Bobby Bouchene’s antics, though, and I think that some people like to bash Sandler a bit mercilessly (not necessarily in this thread) for providing a little bit of mindless comedy that hurts nobody, but delights countless millions. (_Then again, countless millions think Regis is an absolute hoot, yet he bugs me enough to almost make me want to start a pit thread, so i may want to rethink my logic.🙂_) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/19 "2002-11-28T08:08:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rilchiam \* > \*\*\ > > You must mean **The Cosby Show**. \*\* Not unless Will Smith was a guest star, and none of the Cosby kids appeared in the scene that Will and Adam Sandler were in. He shelled out $16 for some dinky jar of caviar that he was showing to Will. I promptly turned the channel. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283/20 "2002-11-28T08:53:01Z")
Okay, say what you want about Sandler, but Opera Man ROCKS. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-adam-sandler-or-worst-song-ever/139283.md?page=2)