# Thank you, Captain Obvious ...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 4, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012 "2009-12-04T18:10:31Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\
**Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/1 "2009-12-04T18:10:31Z")

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Was reading a light-hearted “human interest” story in one of those coffee break newsletters that like to print light-hearted “human interest” stories in them to fill their (small) space. Saw one today that had the following story about a Chow dog that saved its owner from a bear attack. The relevant portion (paraphrased):

> [@](#):
>
> [Owner’s name] bought the dog from a shetler. He had no idea the dog would one day save his life.

Are there that many people going to shelters saying “no, I want that one. He’ll save my life one day, you know!” that this exception to the rule had to be mentioned?

:smack:

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**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\
**Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/2 "2009-12-04T18:43:32Z")

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You’re welcome.

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**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\
**Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/3 "2009-12-04T20:35:18Z")

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Yeah, you expect that from a collie, but only because of their massive PR machine.

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**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\
**Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/4 "2009-12-04T20:41:12Z")

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They probably shown him a Pomeranian and said “This 'un here won’t save your life.”, took him to greyhound and said “Nor this 'un… now this here Chow could come in very handy if you are being attacked by a bear one day!”

“I’ll take it!”

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**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\
**Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/5 "2009-12-04T20:54:27Z")

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I dunno…if he ever comes across an electrified rabbit, he’ll wish he’d have gone with the greyhound.

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**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\
**Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/6 "2009-12-04T20:54:51Z")

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> [@ivan\_astikov](#):
>
> They probably shown him a Pomeranian and said “This 'un here won’t save your life.”, took him to greyhound and said “Nor this 'un… now this here Chow could come in very handy if you are being attacked by a bear one day!”
> 
> “I’ll take it!”

In my head, I heard this with a thick Somerset accent. Don’t ask me why.

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**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\
**Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/7 "2009-12-04T21:12:11Z")

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> [@Daithi\_Lacha](#):
>
> In my head, I heard this with a thick Somerset accent. Don’t ask me why.

Me, too. And now I’m giggling like a little loon.

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**Author:** ![Hilary\_Algar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilary_algar/32/4282_2.png) [@Hilary\_Algar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilary_Algar)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/8 "2009-12-05T14:17:39Z")

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> [@dhkendall](#):
>
> Was reading a light-hearted “human interest” story in one of those coffee break newsletters that like to print light-hearted “human interest” stories in them to fill their (small) space. Saw one today that had the following story about a Chow dog that saved its owner from a bear attack. The relevant portion (paraphrased):
> 
> Are there that many people going to shelters saying “no, I want that one. He’ll save my life one day, you know!” that this exception to the rule had to be mentioned?
> 
> :smack:

Prescience just is not as common today as it once was.

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**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/9 "2009-12-05T15:26:36Z")

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Bah, life-saving prognostication is fine. I want someone who can help me pick out a dog that, should the need arise, will make the tastiest chops.

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/10 "2009-12-05T18:52:12Z")

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Well, I don’t know about YOU guys, but that’s how I picked out my cat.

Just kidding! I actually picked her because I already had thought of the name, and she fit the name. Plus, she was snuggly-wuggly.

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**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\
**Post date:** [December 6, 2009, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/11 "2009-12-06T07:37:43Z")

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> [@FallenAngel](#):
>
> Yeah, you expect that from a collie, but only because of their massive PR machine.

When I think of collies, I think of them going to get help, and somehow being able to communicate with humans just what kind of trouble little Timmy is in THIS time. I swear, that family needed to keep a leash on TIMMY, not on Lassie.

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**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\
**Post date:** [December 6, 2009, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/12 "2009-12-06T23:39:53Z")

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A little known fact is that you can tie two chihuahuas together and swing them around like nunchukas.

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**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/13 "2009-12-07T00:30:54Z")

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> [@Superhal](#):
>
> A little known fact is that you can tie two chihuahuas together and swing them around like nunchukas.

Wow. That could totally save your life.

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**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/14 "2009-12-07T01:01:42Z")

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> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#):
>
> Wow. That could totally save your life.

I owe my life to Sausage and Kneebiter.

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**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/15 "2009-12-07T01:22:21Z")

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I picked out a car with the stupidest name because I figured by changing his name, he’d be forever grateful and one day save my life. Unfortunately, he could not spell and one day saved my wife. Stupid fucking cat.

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**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/16 "2009-12-07T01:25:22Z")

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Old joke:

A man was walking down the road followed by a huge procession: a pit bull, 2 coffins, and about 500 people. A passerby walked up to the man and asked him what was going on. The man replied, “On Thursday, the dog killed my wife. On Friday, the dog killed my mother-in-law.” The passerby thought about it for a second, and said, “Um, sorry for your loss…is there any way I could borrow your dog for a couple of days?”

The man replies, “Get in line.”

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**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/17 "2009-12-07T03:06:33Z")

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> [@Superhal](#):
>
> A little known fact is that you can tie two chihuahuas together and swing them around like nunchukas.

Nun chuckers ? Is that a catholic siege weapon ?

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**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/18 "2009-12-07T17:00:41Z")

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> [@Mr Bus Guy](#):
>
> I picked out a **car** with the stupidest name because I figured by changing his name, he’d be forever grateful and one day save my life. Unfortunately, he could not spell and one day saved my wife. Stupid fucking cat.

He who lives in misspelled houses shouldn’t throw Guaderes.

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/19 "2009-12-07T17:07:05Z")

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Heh.

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**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012/20 "2009-12-07T17:30:46Z")

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> [@Superhal](#):
>
> A little known fact is that you can tie two chihuahuas together and swing them around like nunchukas.

Ha, you may laugh, but there was a story not long ago about someone who found that their three Chihuahuas had cornered a mountain lion in the garage.

Yes, it’s a pain in the ass to have to adopt three little yappers, but a single Chow probably poops more, plus driving up your insurance rate.

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/520012.md?page=2)
