# Thank you, Captain Obvious! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 26, 2013, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335 "2013-10-26T23:03:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2013, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/1 "2013-10-26T23:03:53Z")
This thread is for obvious statements, as reported in or by the news media. From my neighbourhood rag: [Two killed in early morning collision, fog was a factor](http://www.thenorthernlight.com/news/article.exm/2013-10-23_two_killed_in_early_morning_collision__fog_was_a_factor) > [@](#): > > “The decision to pass was not the best choice for the pickup driver,” said Washington State Patrol trooper Keith Leary. Thank you, Captain Obvious! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2013, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/2 "2013-10-26T23:59:24Z")
I would say “You’re welcome,” but I think you’re being sarcastic! Captain Obvious…awaaaay! (Although, in fact, I’m not actually moving. I am remaining motionless.) ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/3 "2013-10-27T00:00:54Z")
I once heard someone on the radio say that, “Around the world, people, on average, are getting older.” ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/4 "2013-10-27T00:18:29Z")
Sorry dude, I’m not seeing it for the OP. While the State Patrol guy’s statement was a bit of “duh”, the fact that fog and not a fucking cellphone was a factor would actually be news around here. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/5 "2013-10-27T00:37:43Z")
> [@EmilyGhost](#): > > I once heard someone on the radio say that, “Around the world, people, on average, are getting older.” It was a dumb way to say it, but I’m sure the gist was “the average age is increasing” as in we gots more old folks now. Not the obvious “each particular individual is currently aging” way you took it. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/6 "2013-10-27T01:02:49Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > It was a dumb way to say it, but I’m sure the gist was “the average age is increasing” as in we gots more old folks now. Not the obvious “each particular individual is currently aging” way you took it. Well yes, it was a piece on the average age increasing, so I understood what it meant. It just sounded a little silly if taken out of context. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/7 "2013-10-27T03:00:39Z")
> [@Zakalwe](#): > > Sorry dude, I’m not seeing it for the OP. While the State Patrol guy’s statement was a bit of “duh”, the fact that fog and not a fucking cellphone was a factor would actually be news around here. That was the headline. The Captain Obvious statement was “The decision to pass was not the best choice for the pickup driver,” said Washington State Patrol trooper Keith Leary. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/8 "2013-10-27T03:17:33Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > That was the headline. The Captain Obvious statement was “The decision to pass was not the best choice for the pickup driver,” said Washington State Patrol trooper Keith Leary. Exactly right. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/9 "2013-10-27T04:17:08Z")
Likewise, the statements one sees like “The average American family has 3.6 children and 1.2 cars” (or whatever the correct figures are). Accordingly, we should conclude, that housing developers should build houses with 4.6 bedrooms and 1.2-car garages. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/10 "2013-10-27T05:20:17Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > This thread is for obvious statements, as reported in or by the news media. > > From my neighbourhood rag: > > [Two killed in early morning collision, fog was a factor](http://www.thenorthernlight.com/news/article.exm/2013-10-23_two_killed_in_early_morning_collision__fog_was_a_factor) > > Thank you, Captain Obvious! Well, what would you expect a public employee to say? He must couch his words in the most politically correct manor, or lose his job. Can he call it a stupid move by the pickup driver? Of course not. Poor judgment? Hell no. He cannot assign fault or blame without liability. I work in an educational environment where we cannot even refer to a student as having lied, or being a liar. No. The word we must use now is “inaccurate reporter”. “Little Johnny is a chronic liar” must be replaced by “Young John is an inaccurate reporter”. If you are a spokesperson for any public agency in the current environment, I just have to admire your doublespeak talents. The lexicon is changing all the time and one misspoken sentence and you lose your job. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/11 "2013-10-27T11:53:24Z")
Clearly, we’re talking about Captain Hindsight ant NOT Captain Obvious. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/12 "2013-10-27T15:11:44Z")
This thread is not going how I thought it would. I was expecting people to post obvious statements, obvious signage, etc. that they see in the news. Thought it would be funny to read them. Oh, well. > [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > Well, what would you expect a public employee to say? Why should he make any judgement call? He should just report the data. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/13 "2013-10-28T01:50:46Z")
I had a [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=647293)talking about how Panera Bread listed their Bacon Turkey Bravo sandwich as with bacon, on Tomato Basil bread. My comment was “if I had to guess what went into a Bacon Turkey Bravo sandwich, bacon would be one of my top two guesses.” ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/14 "2013-10-28T04:04:26Z")
Not sure this qualifies, but quite a few years a local NPR station delivered this tidbit over the airwaves (the station was college-based, and some of the on-air talent was painfully amateurish and awkward): “…and today is the birthday of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart; he would be 242 years old today, had he lived.” ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/15 "2013-10-28T04:32:09Z")
There’s the sign I saw in an office building, years ago, on a stairwell door. It said > [@](#): > > Use stairs between floors only To this day, I’m not sure where else they thought the stairs were going to be used. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/16 "2013-10-28T04:38:16Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > There’s the sign I saw in an office building, years ago, on a stairwell door. It said To this day, I’m not sure where else they thought the stairs were going to be used. Probably the building management doesn’t want entry or exit via the stairs, everyone goes through the lobby(was there security?). ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/17 "2013-10-28T04:51:56Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Probably the building management doesn’t want entry or exit via the stairs, everyone goes through the lobby(was there security?). There was, but my recollection is that it was an interior stairwell, so there was no way in or out of the building through it. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/18 "2013-10-28T18:47:37Z")
During the AL playoffs between the Tigers and Red Sox, the Tigers were down in one game by three runs and got a couple runners on base. The “color” man, Tim McCarver, announced that “obviously, if the batter hits a home run, the game is tied”. Thank _you_, Mr. Obvious! ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/19 "2013-10-28T20:05:08Z")
Today’s headline: [Governor: Use the police to police](http://www.compasscayman.com/caycompass/2013/10/28/Governor--Use-the-police-to-police/) Seems obvious. The article details how the police service is called upon to handle a lot of issues that could better be handled by other lesser-trained and lesser-paid personnel. That would free up the police to, well… police. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335/20 "2013-10-28T20:29:32Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > Well, what would you expect a public employee to say? He must couch his words in the most politically correct **manor** , or lose his job… Wherever it is, I’m guessing Bill Maher doesn’t visit often. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-captain-obvious/672335.md?page=2)