# Thank you for stealing equipment, jerk **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 26, 2007, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777 "2007-04-26T20:26:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/1 "2007-04-26T20:26:51Z")
I have no idea who you are, but you suck. Yes, I put seismographs down in a semi=public spot. I had very little choice in the matter. How dare I hope that poeple wouldn’t steal them. Yeah, they only cost 3000 bucks new, and can’t be sold since there is _no_ used market. Yeah, you’re really going to clean up at the pawnshop with this one, fuckwit! Maybe you’ll get 20$ for it, or maybe you’ll jsut use for target practice. Now I’m in trouble, the guy using before’s in trouble for not downloading everything, and I’m probably going to get a bad annual review. Fuck, I hate you. Do I have to nail everything down to make sure people don’t walk off with our stuff? Since this is the pit, and people will undoubtely make smarmy comments wbout my lack of style: fuck you with a zombie fuckin chicken which _itself_ is being fucked by Evil Goatee Spock. Take you comments and shove them so far down your throat they ooze out your toenails, and then eat your fuckin diseased oozy comment-laden toenails. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/2 "2007-04-26T20:34:01Z")
Sorry to hear about your misfortune . Sometimes you just get dicked . :smack: ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/3 "2007-04-26T20:40:57Z")
[QUOTE=Omegaman] Sorry to hear about your misfortune . Sometimes you just get dicked . :smack: [/QUOTE] yeah. It was partly my own fault. I can sandbag the seismograph (I just put it on the pavement with some sand underneath to even out or bury the actual device which measures vibration in the ground. I was concerned that if I stuck it up the hill a bit, it would be more visible than otherwise, so I stuck among some cardboard trash (after making sure the trash guys were already gone 🙂 ). Apparently _that_ was a mistake. It wouldn’t have been a problem except I was on the side of the job site, watching another unit I had just laying on the side of the road. :smack: Of course, nobody ever bothered that one. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/4 "2007-04-26T21:19:47Z")
No used market? You should do some digging. I’m seriously considering bidding on [this](http://cgi.ebay.com/Vintage-G-I-Joe-Seismograph-Complete-NICE_W0QQitemZ110118871928QQihZ001QQcategoryZ14336QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem) on Ebay! Very sorry for the dickish fuckwitishness of the dickish fuckwit who fucked with your fucking stuff. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/5 "2007-04-26T21:41:39Z")
[QUOTE=Rhythmdvl] No used market? You should do some digging. I’m seriously considering bidding on [this](http://cgi.ebay.com/Vintage-G-I-Joe-Seismograph-Complete-NICE_W0QQitemZ110118871928QQihZ001QQcategoryZ14336QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem) on Ebay! Very sorry for the dickish fuckwitishness of the dickish fuckwit who fucked with your fucking stuff. [/QUOTE] Yeah, it’s amazing what some people will steal. When I had a job trapping cats, I had to chain up the traps. And some of them got stolen anyway. Why would someone go to the trouble of cutting a bicycle chain to steal a cat trap? It’s not like there are a lot of alternative uses for them… ---
**Author:** ![recessiveMeme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@recessiveMeme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/recessiveMeme)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/6 "2007-04-26T21:53:37Z")
That sucks. You must be quaking with anger. The important thing is to not let things like this shake your faith in your fellow man. Just put things in perspective and remember that, in the big scheme of things, even a fault of this magnitude may eventually seem like a mild tremor in the capriciously oscillatory substance of luck. Indeed, one day soon fate may smile and explosively thrust you aloft to better fortune-- but until then… ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/7 "2007-04-26T21:58:11Z")
Wow. You’re the first person I’ve ever known who has a seismograph. Well, _used_ to. Maybe you’ll luck out like Will Smith did in The Pursuit of Happyness. I hope it shows up. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/8 "2007-04-26T22:02:17Z")
We found early on that we could put anything we didn’t want anymore out in our back alley and it would be gone within a matter of hours. Broken down old high chair with generations of ground in baby food? Gone. Gigantic, ancient, peeling, low power microwave. ‘Bye. When I got rid of our old kids’ carseats I had to carefully bury them in the trash cans so that no one could liberate them and (illegally) use or sell them. Some people will steal anything. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/9 "2007-04-26T22:59:36Z")
You could try publicizing this through the local papers and TV news, and offering a small reward for its return in working order. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/10 "2007-04-27T08:43:52Z")
[QUOTE=smiling bandit] yeah. It was partly my own fault. I can sandbag the seismograph (I just put it on the pavement with some sand underneath to even out or bury the actual device which measures vibration in the ground. I was concerned that if I stuck it up the hill a bit, it would be more visible than otherwise, so I stuck among some cardboard trash (after making sure the trash guys were already gone 🙂 ). Apparently _that_ was a mistake. [/QUOTE] Is it possible that someone saw it amongst the trash and innocently thought it had been thrown away? ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/11 "2007-04-27T08:46:28Z")
Don’t thank the person, it will only encourage him or her to do it again. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/12 "2007-04-27T13:12:08Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] Wow. You’re the first person I’ve ever known who has a seismograph. Well, _used_ to. [/QUOTE] snerk ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/13 "2007-04-27T13:51:35Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Is it possible that someone saw it amongst the trash and innocently thought it had been thrown away? [/QUOTE] That’s what I was thinking. You may have disguised your siesmograph as abandoned property which may have increased the chances of it being taken. Many people would not take such a device if they suspected it was being owned, and used unattended, but if they see one being thrown out they assume it is available for them to take. ---
**Author:** ![mks57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@mks57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mks57)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/14 "2007-04-27T14:23:54Z")
Call up the EOD (explosive ordnance disposal) sergeant at your nearest military base and ask him about anti-tamper devices. That can guarantee that your thief will not be a repeat offender. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/15 "2007-04-27T16:06:01Z")
How timely. I was just about to start a thread about my hatred towards opportunist thieves. Just yesterday my work cellphone got stolen. I’m not all that pissed at losing the cellphone (nextel cheapie with b/w display) but more pissed at the way it was stolen. I get home at 5:30, pull up my driveway (30 feet), and park in my ‘attached’ garage. I left the cellphone on the passenger seat, car windows closed, doors unlocked. I go back out to the car at about 7:00 to run to the store (still daylight out) and when I start the car notice that the passenger door is ajar. Then I notice the cellphone missing. So some lowlife mutherfucker in broad daylight walked up my driveway while I was home, into my garage, and looked in my car to see what he could possibly steal, saw the phone, opened the car and helped himself. Man what I wouldn’t give to have caught the fucker in the act. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/16 "2007-04-27T17:18:24Z")
[QUOTE=Hampshire] So some lowlife mutherfucker in broad daylight walked up my driveway while I was home, into my garage, and looked in my car to see what he could possibly steal, saw the phone, opened the car and helped himself. Man what I wouldn’t give to have caught the fucker in the act. [/QUOTE] Not that it’s a seismograph or cell phone, but someone once stole a pen off of my desk at work. No big deal you say? No, but it was a nice pen. Had gold-plated bits. It was even engraved. With my name. I’m just sorry I never did find the psycho assmunch that stole it. I would have had so much fun confronting the person. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/17 "2007-04-27T17:32:31Z")
I’ve got an idea for a little sting operation you can use to try to catch this guy who stole the cellphone: Get a friend (preferably one who’s pre-entered in your phone) to call your cell around 4:00 (or a bit later) today. (If the thief answers, your friend is to speak fast and as if under some stress.) Your friend hurriedly apologizes and explains that he/she won’t be able to pick up the keg as planned because of a backup at work, and won’t be able to get out until around 7:00. The rest of his spiel would go something like this: “…Can you do it? I just called the liquor store to let them know to expect you instead of me – it’s [Moe’s on the corner of Springfield Ave. & Main St., Springfield] – all you have to do is tell them you’re picking up [name of friend’s] [name of beer], and that’s it. Very sorry to be a bit late to the party, and hope you get this message before you take off.” This will take a bit of pre-planning. You’ll need to run this by the police, unless you want to extract the proverbial pound of flesh along with your phone from the perp. You’ll need to enlist a liquor store willing to go along… maybe you could promise them all of your future business and your circle of friends’ good will, or something. (Or to buy a keg, even!) And, of course, a friend who can reasonably be expected to pull this off. And then you may or may not be able to participate directly, depending on whether you can get a cop to go along with this (they may consider it too trivial to bother), and whether they allow your involvement. If you handle this alone or with buddies, you’ll have to be able to get to that store shortly after the time when the sting call is made, of course. One possible hitch: if the perp takes the call. Your friend will have to break in right away, not giving the a-hole a chance to gloat as a thief or anything, and if the guy does say anything, your friend might conclude the call with a quick “dude, are you feeling okay? You sound like you might have a cold or something,” just for a nice bit of verisimilitude (and help convince the crook it’s not a set-up). I think it’s vital for this to work that it happen quickly, this aft./evening, if possible. The credibility of the sting hinges on your not being likely to have warned your friends in time, and the chancy nature of communications via phone tag. Hope this helps! ---
**Author:** ![Viridiana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Viridiana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Viridiana)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/18 "2007-04-27T18:50:59Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] Wow. You’re the first person I’ve ever known who has a seismograph. Well, _used_ to. Maybe you’ll luck out like Will Smith did in The Pursuit of Happyness. I hope it shows up. [/QUOTE] He lost his seismograph too, eh? What are the odds? ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/19 "2007-04-27T19:09:39Z")
[QUOTE=Viridiana] He lost his seismograph too, eh? What are the odds? [/QUOTE] Not quite. He lost a time machine. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777/20 "2007-04-27T19:10:36Z")
I doubt the theft was “innocent”. We set up the bod with wires going in an out,a microphone sticking out, and with a transducer unit sitting on a bed of sand under a sandbag. Ironically, no one bothered the sandbag, the gar grill sitting nearby, nor anything else. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-for-stealing-equipment-jerk/401777.md?page=2)