# Thank you James Dobson's! The future looks great! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 30, 2008, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223 "2008-10-30T07:40:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/61 "2008-10-30T20:36:14Z")
> [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > But won’t someone please think of the children, too? Where’s their role in this? Someone has to attend the mandatory public schools to learn about the mandatory gay sex and mandatory evolution from the mandatory agnostic, but preferably atheist teachers. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/62 "2008-10-30T20:48:34Z")
Legalized prostitution too? Pretty please? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/63 "2008-10-30T20:53:53Z")
How soon do we get to see the free 24/7 porno on TV? Obama should have mentioned that earlier. He’d be polling at close to 100% with men. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/64 "2008-10-30T21:22:15Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Legalized prostitution too? Pretty please? Make it legalized _socialized_ prostitution and I’m aboard! ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/65 "2008-10-30T21:26:05Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > I’m curious about how our new Lord and Master is able to get the Supreme Court to do his Imperial bidding. Does he have to kill the existing Justices and replace them with cronies? Or does he employ some sort of ‘persuasion’ to get them in line? It says in the letter. A bunch of judges resigned and he replaced them with “far-Left, American Civil Liberties Union-oriented judges.” So now the only sensible justices are Roberts, Alito, and Thomas. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/66 "2008-10-30T21:27:40Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > It says in the letter. A bunch of judges resigned and he replaced them with “far-Left, American Civil Liberties Union-oriented judges.” So now the only sensible justices are Roberts, Alito, and Thomas. I didn’t realize the ACLU counted as an orientation. That’s going to add a whole bunch of letters to the LGBT word salad. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/67 "2008-10-30T21:37:04Z")
> [@Ponder\_Stibbons](#): > > Make it legalized _socialized_ prostitution and I’m aboard! The Marquis de Sade, I once read, once proposed state-run brothels in which **all** women would be required to serve at some point in their lives. Kinda like being drafted or doing jury duty (but more socially beneficial). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/68 "2008-10-30T21:42:22Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > … I’ve heard that, for fun, he makes Scalia, Alito and Thomas act out scenes from “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert”. I’d pay money to see that. So much funnier than the TweedleDee dance in Star Trek. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/69 "2008-10-30T21:43:43Z")
> [@Ponder\_Stibbons](#): > > Make it legalized _socialized_ prostitution and I’m aboard! Since we don’t have a lot of experience as a socialist nation, I think we should import the 'tutes from a long-time socialist nation. I suggest Sweden. ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/70 "2008-10-30T21:44:15Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > I withdraw That’s not going to work either. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/71 "2008-10-30T21:47:01Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I didn’t realize the ACLU counted as an orientation. That’s going to add a whole bunch of letters to the LGBT word salad. Yes, but at least it gets us a few vowels. Maybe now we can actually form a word. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/72 "2008-10-30T22:01:42Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > Since we don’t have a lot of experience as a socialist nation, I think we should import the 'tutes from a long-time socialist nation. I suggest Sweden. Ooh! Blondes! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/73 "2008-10-30T22:12:03Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Yes, but at least it gets us a few vowels. Maybe now we can actually form a word. Here’s what I get putting GLBTACLU in a Scrabble generator. This assumes, of course, that one of those letters is already on the board and playable. 8 points: club 7 points: bulla, cab, clag, cub, tubal 6 points: abut, bag, ball, blat, bug, bull, call, caul, cull, cult, gab, gault, tabu, talc, tuba 5 points: act, alb, bal, bat, but, cat, cut, gall, glut, gull, lab, lac, tab, tub 4 points: ba, gal, gat, gul, gut, lag, latu, lug, tag, tall, tug 3 points: ag, all, alt, lat, tau, uta 2 points: al, at, la, ta, ut ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/74 "2008-10-30T22:41:52Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > He simply burns out their minds and controls them directly. I’ve heard that, for fun, he makes Scalia, Alito and Thomas act out scenes from “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert”. And sadly even Clarence Thomas is a prettier woman than Justice Ginsburg (but at least she’s handy at killing babies with a gavel). 2014: Lord Obama, By Divine Reckoning Autocrat for Life and Beyond of the United Americas, divorced Michelle, banishing her and their daughters to an Arkansas trailer park. Money earned from the sale of Oregon was used to fund his own polyamorous wedding with former child star Haley Joel Osment, aging party boy Matthew McConnaughey, and a large she-panda given to him by China in exchange for the U.S. Navy. Clay Aiken, Morrissey, and the Captain and Tennille performed, and during the reception Senator Orrin Hatch and Governor Mitt Romney were sacrificed at Obama’s Temple (formerly the SCotUS building). ---
**Author:** ![rivulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@rivulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rivulus)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/75 "2008-10-31T00:24:50Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > Here’s what I get putting GLBTACLU in a Scrabble generator. This assumes, of course, that one of those letters is already on the board and playable. > > 8 points: club > > 7 points: bulla, cab, clag, cub, tubal > > 6 points: abut, bag, ball, blat, bug, bull, call, caul, cull, cult, gab, gault, tabu, talc, tuba > > 5 points: act, alb, bal, bat, but, cat, cut, gall, glut, gull, lab, lac, tab, tub > > 4 points: ba, gal, gat, gul, gut, lag, latu, lug, tag, tall, tug > > 3 points: ag, all, alt, lat, tau, uta > > 2 points: al, at, la, ta, ut Actually, there’s more to the salad these days. It’s LGBTQA + ACLU. You can’t forget the “Questioning” and “Allies”! So what can the generator do with another A and a Q? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/76 "2008-10-31T01:08:02Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > The reason Fundies go after the gays so obsessively, since I think somebody asked: > > 1. The “tent revival” scenario mentioned above has some documentary support (won’t say proof by any means, but it was an interesting study). [YouTube video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy-7AoxFEJA) (section from the documentary _Middle Sexes_ narrated by Gore Vidal) and a [brief narrative description of the University of Georgia study](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy-7AoxFEJA). > > 2. For those who aren’t applicable to above: condemn divorce and you lose the financial support of divorcees and their loved ones, and the same is true with condemning single mothers or even adulterers or convicts. Condemn gays, though— well, that’s pretty safe since most straight people aren’t tempted to have gay sex themselves, and are far less likely to have gay relatives [that they know about] than they do divorcees or adulterers or single mothers- it’s a very convenient scapegoat. I’d also add, because it’s perfect witch hunt material - they can look like anyone, and can’t prove they **aren’t** gay. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/77 "2008-10-31T02:56:56Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Legalized prostitution too? Pretty please? I’m not sure how that would work. There’s already going to be mandatory sex. I don’t think it has been said yet, but since bisexualism is also mandatory, there must be mandatory hetero and homo sex. And this pretty clearly implies mandatory out of wedlock sex. Unless there’s going to be mandatory group marriages. Yes, yes, that makes sense, so-- mandatory group marriages. But the payment. You obviously don’t want to encourage some kind of power hierarchy by allowing those with money to control who has sex. So I think there should be a mandatory payment, from all parties to each other for all sexual acts. And there will be government grants available to help the poor pay for more sex. And obviously we’ll want to encourage homosexual sex to compensate for past discrimination. So here should be some kind of extra subsidy for men who are willing to put their rectums on the firing line, as it were. I’m not sure how one would structure a corresponding incentive for lesbian sex among women. My personal inclination would be a viewer fee for men who want to watch, but I’m open to other ideas. WAY open! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/78 "2008-10-31T03:31:06Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > How soon do we get to see the free 24/7 porno on TV? Obama should have mentioned that earlier. He’d be polling at close to 100% with men. And the men would be pulling 100% of the time! (For Obama, since we’d all have teh mandatory gay.) Than Kew! I’ll be here all week! Here in my bunk … ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/79 "2008-10-31T03:43:58Z")
\All right, this is gay. Everyone back in the pile!\ ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223/80 "2008-10-31T04:14:01Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Clay Aiken, Morrissey, and the Captain and Tennille performed, Nope! I’m sorry, but this is going just a bit _too far!_ I’m not really into the whole gay sex thing (at least with me as a participant), but I’m willing to make that sacrifice if that’s what my country demands of me. **However** , subjecting people to those performers is, quite clearly, a violation of the Geneva Conventions regarding torture. I believe they’re specifically mentioned right before “Waterboarding” and just after “Having your nutsack hit with a hammer.” I’m afraid that, as much as it pains me, I’m now going to have to join Dobson’s underground resistance movement. And I had such hope that this would be a better country. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-you-james-dobsons-the-future-looks-great/470223.md?page=5)