# Thank your God for your Freedom **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 31, 2014, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689 "2014-05-31T05:45:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/1 "2014-05-31T05:45:12Z")
never mind ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/2 "2014-05-31T05:53:38Z")
Well, okay. Let me see… I think I’ll invent a new god: Kanarth of Ellesh. I’m free to do so, surely. (I’ve just done it, and seem to have gotten away with it.) So… Thank you, Kanarth! Thank you for the freedom you gave me to create you. (Now…how about some winning lottery numbers?) ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/3 "2014-05-31T07:09:45Z")
No god provided me any freedom. I have freedom because I live in a society that believes people ought to have freedoms, and because we have a government powerful enough to deal with anyone who disagrees. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/4 "2014-05-31T10:24:57Z")
I hate god. I guess I also hate freedom. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/5 "2014-05-31T11:00:24Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > **Thank you God for your Freedom** … > > never mind God giveth, god taketh away. Fickle bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/6 "2014-05-31T13:49:32Z")
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/7 "2014-05-31T13:52:55Z")
So many to choose from… ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/8 "2014-05-31T14:06:49Z")
OK, **Trinopus** , I hereby swear my allegiance to _Kanarth of Ellesh_! Do I get a tee-shirt? Is there a newsletter? How about pizza parties? Does _Kanarth of Ellesh_ prefer beer or wine? As a new devotee, I need to know these things. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/9 "2014-05-31T14:24:28Z")
> [@Gagundathar](#): > > Do I get a tee-shirt? Is there a newsletter? How about pizza parties? Does _Kanarth of Ellesh_ prefer beer or wine? Oh chronic pain stealing my sleep this morning. You make the whole world so different. I initially read this as "Does _Kanarth of Ellesh_ prefer **bees** or wine? ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/10 "2014-05-31T16:19:03Z")
I think that you old farts have lost the true way of _Kanarth of Ellesh_, and your doubts about the right beverage for the pizza party make this more than evident. Therefore I proclaim that me and my subset of followers are the _True Elleshians_ and the rest of you heretics. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/11 "2014-05-31T17:23:29Z")
Splittist! ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/12 "2014-05-31T17:28:54Z")
Freedom, schmeedom. Gimme power over my enemies. And nubile virgins to spare from sacrifice. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/13 "2014-05-31T17:36:15Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > No god provided me any freedom. > > I have freedom because I live in a society that believes people ought to have freedoms, and because we have a government powerful enough to deal with anyone who disagrees. By putting them in prison. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/14 "2014-05-31T17:56:26Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > By putting them in prison. :smack: Freedom is not exclusive to jail-loving America, bub. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/15 "2014-05-31T19:09:16Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > …And nubile virgins to spare from sacrifice. Or disqualify. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/16 "2014-05-31T20:37:38Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > I think that you old farts have lost the true way of _Kanarth of Ellesh_, and your doubts about the right beverage for the pizza party make this more than evident. Therefore I proclaim that me and my subset of followers are the _True Elleshians_ and the rest of you heretics. Lovely paradox! If I say, “You are free to do so,” my church disintegrates into a thousand little sects. But if I say, “You can’t do that!” then I am denying the freedom that Kanarth bestows! Either way, the church is doomed! Next time, I will invent a War God, and if you secede, I’ll just come over with my army and go all “Joshua in Canaan” on your ass. This freedom stuff is clearly overrated! (Or…maybe a sex and ganja god, and just, like, let it happen, y’know?) ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/17 "2014-05-31T20:39:39Z")
What God wants, God gets. God help us all. ---
**Author:** ![SeldomSeen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@SeldomSeen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeldomSeen)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/18 "2014-05-31T20:57:56Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/19 "2014-05-31T21:23:57Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Freedom is not exclusive to jail-loving America, bub. We think freedom is so precious that we don’t want to use it all up on everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689/20 "2014-05-31T21:31:18Z")
Just like marriage, huh? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thank-your-god-for-your-freedom/689689.md?page=2)