# Thanks, cocksuckers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 18, 2003, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231 "2003-03-18T07:33:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/61 "2003-03-19T10:38:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*Didn’t you know, _Esprix_, you’re actually supposed to get permission from _OxyMoron_ to be offended. _He’s_ the only qualified gay man to ascertain when offense is to be taken. > > How did I learn that? Well, I objected to the term shirtlifter and \*_self-important snivel deleted_ > So the case is closed. You can’t get offended by words. :rolleyes: \*\* **Homebrew** , sweetheart. Suck it up, deal with it, put it behind you, and get on with your life. **OxyMoron** offered you some good advice (on not presuming to be virtuously offended on behalf of all gay men). IMHO he’s shown less tendency to go around telling other people what they ought to think than _someone_ I could mention. And your bitching about “the Gay Mafia” registered about 0.001 on the CoolOMeter… IMHO, again. FWIW, AFAIK, and AFAIC, “motherfucker” is meant to imply that the insulted party is guilty of actively cooperating in an Oedipal act with his own bio-female parent, not merely that he has laid a female who has laid an egg. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/62 "2003-03-19T10:49:53Z")
Does this mean I can’t call people wankers anymore in case I offend masturbating people? Does this mean I can’t call people idiots anymore in case it offends people of low intelligence? Does this mean I can’t call people animals anymore in case it offends pets? Does this mean I can’t call people humans anymore in case it offends aliens? Does thios mean I can’t speak anymore in case it offends mutes? Does this mean I can’t live anymore in case it offends the dead? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/63 "2003-03-19T15:13:34Z")
**Esprix** honey, I got back with the tissue as soon as I could… **j\_kat\_251** , an honorable man apologizes for wrong-doing even if the people to whom he is apologizing don’t accept the apology. **GuanoLad** , why don’t you try out all of the suggestions on your list and see how they work out for you? ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/64 "2003-03-19T15:55:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Malacandra \* > \*\ ***Homebrew** , sweetheart. Suck it up, deal with it, put it behind you, and get on with your life. \*\* Seeing as how I’ve agreed to let our differences lie, I’d recommend you take your own advice and shut the fuck up. My beef is with **OxyMoron** and those who presume the authority to tell others when they can or cannot be offended. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/65 "2003-03-19T15:59:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Malacandra \* > \*\* And your bitching about “the Gay Mafia” registered about 0.001 on the CoolOMeter… IMHO, again. \*\* Furthermore, since you are new here, you are not familar enough with the term to understand the sarcasm inherent in my comment. Now go bother someone else, Limey Bastard. ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/66 "2003-03-19T16:47:39Z")
In the movie “Brian’s Song”, Brian Piccollo is trying to get Gayle Sayers to work harder to rehab his knee, which was severely injured. Sayers wants to quit for the day so Piccollo, who loves Sayers like a brother tries to get him mad so he’ll work harder. He calls him a lazy nigger. Sayers starts laughing so hard that his wife comes down to the basement to find out what is so funny. Sayers says “Brian TRIED to call me a nigger” In other words, if the intent isn’t there, the words are meaningless. Of course, a few years ago I saw the real Gale Sayers asked about the late Brian Picollo. He replied, “Who?” Just kidding. I don’t think this guys intent was to belittle homosexuals. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/67 "2003-03-19T17:17:48Z")
And around and around and around we go! Esprix ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/68 "2003-03-19T17:26:10Z")
**Homebrew** , get: (a) a grip, and (b) off the cross. Perhaps not in that order, the cross probably _hurts_. Oh, dear, that was insensitive of me, wasn’t it? But I find life a helluva lot more enjoyable by being insensitive, most particularly to my own hot buttons. That means that when somebody uses **cocksucker** in a thread about - for crying out loud - somebody revealing spoilers to a TV show, I know that it’s not worth getting offended, because the entire premise is too absurdly stupid. There are times when words alone do matter - that’s when you’re dealing with somebody who’s directly insulting you individually, or who actually has power. An employer. A judge. A cop. But somebody ranting pointlessly on a message board? Please. That’s when you have to stuff the offense down, swallow hard, and realize that there are much, much more serious issues to worry about - and worrying about the unserious is damaging to your own cause. Look, **Homebrew** , it’s not that I think the OP was innocent. There may be some pretty serious homophobia lurking within him. But at this level - the inconsequential - intention really doesn’t matter. This fly ain’t even worth swatting. ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/69 "2003-03-19T17:44:33Z")
Hey **j\_kat\_251** , you are getting the turdburglar thing all wrong. You see, for a long time now there have been a growing number of folks here who think that the interpretation you’ve been subjected to is absolutely fucking pathetic. Some of us feel that the language nazis (who insist that _how_ a word is used is unimportant if it can ever in any way be used as an insult to a group of people they see as oppressed) are oversensitive crybabies who lack an appreciation for the flexible nature of language. Folks who just don’t seem to get that one word can mean many different things depending on CONTEXT and INTENTIONS. Of course, those things are not as easy to relate on a message board as in real life. These cats, however, won’t even stop once clarification has been requested and given. One time, not too long ago, something got into the water around here and there was [a brief moment of such sweet mockery](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=148973) directed at this pointless behaivior. Someone got all in a huff over use of the word **Turdburglar** in a situation that was not meant as an attack on any homosexuals. A 6-page hijack ensued where, for one of the first times in SDMB history, the majority of posters were pointing and mocking at this foolishness. Someone ( **bdgr** I think) even said something along the lines of “I am sensing a major turning point in SDMB history”. I wish. Anyway, **Guin** ’s comment was a reference to that thread (I think). It seems that insanity has returned as I knew it must. For what it’s worth to you, I think cocksucker is a great insult. It has a nice ring to it and really rolls off the tounge nice. It’s a common insult here in NYC and I tend to use it quite a bit. Oddly enough, I don’t hate gay people or women who suck cock. As a matter of fact, I don’t even think of anyone actually sucking a cock when I say the word. I don’t even feel that cocksucking is a bad thing at all. I am among the ranks of those greatful to the cocksuckers for all they have given to the world. Either way, I’ll never give it up. It’s a fun word and it works pretty well when a cab cuts you off . . . In short: Don’t pay to much mind to those kids. If you hate people because of their sexuality, that makes you a bigot. Using the word cocksucker does not. If you’re a bigot change, that aint cool. If your not, well then, carry on. And by the way, I promise not to tell you that Jack Bauer is going to kill Nina with a hacksaw. DaLovin’ Dj ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/70 "2003-03-19T18:19:55Z")
Ooh! Ooh, **Homebrew** called me a “Limey Bastard”! Fuck me, I’m crushed. :rolleyes: Anyway - :_pauses to observe that while he himself is indifferent to being called a “Bastard”, the use of the term as an insult is clearly derogatory to persons born outwith a traditional matrimonial relationship, and once again **Homebrew** really ought to set his own house in order_ - don’t get your nipple-rings in a twist; but if you do, adopt a slightly less revisionist view of recent history. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Homebrew_ > Seeing as how I’ve agreed to let our differences lie… I would lo-o-o-o-ve to know how you ever came to put that interpretation on it. I _thought_ you’d retreated from an untenable position that you’d ill-advisedly brought on yourself. It does make me laugh that, since you chose to come and mind my business for me, you now squeal in outrage when you cop a dose of your own medicine. 😃 > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Homebrew_ > My beef is with **OxyMoron** … Your beef, so far as I can make out, is with anyone who suggests that either you or anyone else ought to grow a little maturity, although heaven knows, if you’re making yourself happy constantly looking for slurs, who am I to dissuade you? > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Homebrew_ > Furthermore, since you are new here, you are not familar enough with the term to understand the sarcasm inherent in my comment. Er, actually I understand your _attempted_ sarcasm well enough… but you may like to know that your attempt served, at least as far as I was concerned, mainly to reinforce a stereotype that you might have preferred not to have been reinforced; much as did your comment earlier in this thread that drew my attention. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Homebrew_ > Now go bother someone else Rearrange these words into a well-known phrase or saying: and good I’m ready when. Furthermore, can I suggest that, both with reference to **OxyMoron** and myself, you’d be on sounder ground arguing the validity of what one or other of us has to say… rather than just claim that neither of us has the right to say it. Catch you on the flip! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/71 "2003-03-19T18:22:47Z")
OTOH, the epithet “cocksucker” is used to demean gay men by using them as a yardstick for insult–it’s like calling someone a “faggot.” But in this case I can’t be bothered to flame the OP because he isn’t worth the time and trouble it would take to type. He is trash and thus too stupid even to understand a genuinely worthwhile insult. I don’t waste my time on lower orders of life. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/72 "2003-03-19T18:23:53Z")
Once we get done saving the world for cries of “cocksucker”, can we make our next target “jew”? It’s been ages since I heard about anyone trying to jew somebody down on a price. I’ve also missed “Chinese firedrill”, but Prince Phillip still gets in the news every couple of years so I can cope with the loss. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/73 "2003-03-19T19:36:02Z")
:rolleyes: It was a pop-culture reference, Malacandra. Do try to keep up. And **OxyMoron** : Although I still disagree, this post of yours is much less condescending than the one that first raised my ire, I appreciate that. Perhaps there is room for discussion in this matter. > [@](#): > > There are times when words alone do matter - that’s when you’re dealing with somebody who’s directly insulting you individually, or who actually has power. An employer. A judge. A cop. But somebody ranting pointlessly on a message board? Please. That’s when you have to stuff the offense down, swallow hard, and realize that there are much, much more serious issues to worry about - and worrying about the unserious is damaging to your own cause. What I don’t understand is if the slurs are posted on a message board, why isn’t it appropriate to respond _on a message board_. Your accusations that I and others who have posted in this thread are reacting disportionally is absurd. I’m countering words on a message board _with_ words on a message board. Now obviously you chose to ignore it, **gobear** distainfully dismisses it, and some of us try to get others to quit using “gay” and related terms as slurs because we’d rather not see ourselves used as a basis for insult. My response is determined by the level of importance of the issue. For instance, when an member of the state legislature introduces a bill forbidding unmarried people, of any sexual persuasion, from being foster parents, I act appropriately to that by writing letters to my representative and by making attempts to let others know about this proposed change in law. Insults on a message board are dealt with by responses on a message board. Insults on the street are replied to as the situation warrants. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/74 "2003-03-19T19:46:04Z")
> [@](#): > > Now obviously you chose to ignore it, gobear distainfully dismisses it, and some of us try to get others to quit using “gay” and related terms as slurs because we’d rather not see ourselves used as a basis for insult. It’s not that I am dismissing the problem–the word pisses me off, too–but rather the OP is being dismissed. I am all for converting hearts and minds and shoiwng people that words hurt, but some people are simply too stupid to reach, the OP being among that number. The OP is clearly a drooling moron whose parents undoubtedly met at a family reunion. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/75 "2003-03-19T20:48:19Z")
> [@](#): > > For what it’s worth to you, I think cocksucker is a great insult. It has a nice ring to it and really rolls off the tounge nice. It’s a common insult here in NYC and I tend to use it quite a bit. Oddly enough, I don’t hate gay people or women who suck cock. As a matter of fact, I don’t even think of anyone actually sucking a cock when I say the word. I don’t even feel that cocksucking is a bad thing at all. I am among the ranks of those greatful to the cocksuckers for all they have given to the world. Either way, I’ll never give it up. Fine, then don’t give it up. Use it all you want IRL. But what is so difficult about acknowledging that other posters **on this message board** , of which we are all members in equal standing, find a term offensive, and ceasing to use that term **on this message board** out of respect for them? ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/76 "2003-03-19T22:32:32Z")
Does this mean I have to withdraw my personal ad? SM cuntmuncher seeks SF cocksucker. Interests: eating out:eek: [sub] yes, I’m a smartass[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Foolonthehill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Foolonthehill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foolonthehill)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/77 "2003-03-19T23:28:04Z")
Don’t confuse irony with co-incidence; I was out with a straight girl last night and she complained; “Why is ‘cocksucker’ always used with ‘whore?’” ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/78 "2003-03-20T00:34:01Z")
damn what did you say to her? “You’re a great little cocksucker, you whore?” ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/79 "2003-03-20T04:40:40Z")
> [@](#): > > I promise not to tell you that Jack Bauer is going to kill Nina with a hacksaw. Were this a real spoiler I’d still be ok with it because I would really look forward to him killing that bitch so painfully. ## Now that I’ve calmed down from yesterday, assuming Esprix and any others in the group that claim to be offended were actually offended, then I’m truly sorry. I honestly had no idea using such an insult would offend gay people or straight chicks or who(m?)ever it did. It wasn’t my intention to be homophobic or bigoted or anything, and if I came across as such then I apologise. Hopefully we can all get along in future. Nevertheless the question of “does my right to free speech end where your feelings begin?” is still unanswered. I look forward (with some doubt) to resolving this as soon as possible. > [@](#): > > I am all for converting hearts and minds and \*\* shoiwng people that words hurt\*\*, but some people are simply too stupid to reach, the OP being among that number. \* The OP is clearly a drooling moron whose parents undoubtedly met at a family reunion \*. What, by example? Fuck you, then, asshole/baby-raper/captain of fellatio barn/sheep-licker. I rescind my apology to this dickhead. Why the fuck do you assume that “cocksucker” is denigrating to gay people? Why exactly? Are you a member of the anti-Eminem coalition too? The point is simple - most straight guys view sucking dick and other homosexual activities with some disdain and perhaps even disgust. It’s what seperates our sexual orientation. Calling someone a cocksucker, even interpreted literally as “one who sucks cock” rather than “general dickhead”, isn’t really negative about gay people in general, it’s just the act itself that is being applied to the person, who (assuming he is not gay) will think “ah, shit. I don’t want to suck cock, ever. How insulting to my manhood”. If you call a gay male a “pussymuncher”, meaning “one who munches pussy”, presumably he will be all like “ewww, girls. Gross. I don’t sex girls. How insulting to my gayhood”. I don’t know, maybe I have this all wrong. In fact, in your view I probably do have it all wrong. Chalk it up to cultural differences, not intellectual disability. Obviously something like “hey fag, you stupid queen fairy homo faggot” is denigrating to gay people, no matter who it is said to. But cocksucking is just an act, one that straight men view as pretty ick. That’s what makes the insult - the implication that one performs an act that one considers gross. I have a point, I just can’t articulate it very well. And it’s a good point. Feel free to disagree, but lay off the goddamn insults. Like I said before, it wasn’t my intention to insult gay people with the word cocksucker. If people really feel that it is an insult to gay people in general then I guess I will stop using it out of respect. But conversely, why should I have any respect for someone who has no respect for me? Whatever. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231/80 "2003-03-20T04:51:21Z")
When I reached the core, I began to dig again… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-cocksuckers/162231.md?page=5)