# Thanks for dinner, now get off my fucking couch. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 28, 2001, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172 "2001-02-28T06:34:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/41 "2001-03-01T01:08:30Z")
Thanks, **MandaJO**. Let it not be said that maggie doesn’t LOVE men. You’ll notice the OP is addressed specifically to one person, and one person alone. Any more of this “Men are scum” crap and I’ll have **Alphagene** close this thread before I can even set up the Voodoo altar ('gene, can you remember - should I go Rada or Petro for my ceremony? Drums. I need drums.) Um, **BBoy** , thanks for the lesson. I shall never snuggle or make out again, because I know (thanks to you) that it can only lead to trouble. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/42 "2001-03-01T01:31:46Z")
magdalene, I’m confused. The last time you had me over to your place, you pinned **me** down and wouldn’t let **me** up. Remember? And you were blaring that Bloodhound Gang song? “You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals, so let’s do it like they do on The Discovery Channel” 😉 [sub]Scylla captured my thoughts on the subject aptly. The guy was just an awkward, clueless geek, up until crossed the line when he didn’t let mags up.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/43 "2001-03-01T01:36:34Z")
**Milossarian** , it’s not my fault you couldn’t remember the safe word. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/44 "2001-03-01T01:41:57Z")
You’re right, Mag, and I appologize. Forget what I said, I was wrong. I guess I’m just in a bad mood. Everything okay then? ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/45 "2001-03-01T01:49:08Z")
Thanks, Guin, you’re an ace. No worries! ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/46 "2001-03-01T02:14:58Z")
I think Guin meant: Men produce scum. and xtal, I’m fat, ugly and _married_. This never stopped guys from hitting on me. But then I’m an extroverted wild woman. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/47 "2001-03-01T12:20:11Z")
Nazdar **mag** - Sorry that some guys are pigs! I am ever-so-thankful that you didn’t hide behind a ‘defenseless woman’ victim attitude…He was dick, you clue-by-four’d him to the door, sent a reality email to him, and will continue to allow men the chance to score on the first date _if_ you allow them the honor ;)! Back in the single days I was on a mission to stop the ‘No means yes’ attitude in both men and women. I’d deride my friends for any slip-ups, and the second a girl said ‘No.’, I stopped. Like, stop-stopped. This got an interesting reaction. “Oh, he DID stop. Hmm, is that what I _really_ wanted?” It seemed to work in my favor most of the time- If they really wanted to stop, then I got points for the next time. If they wanted to slow-down, they felt comfortable knowing that I would stop if asked, and nothing gets a guy in a girl’s pants faster than her feeling comfortable with him! And if they didn’t want to stop, I was soon grabbed by the shirt and hauled back down! 🙂 I really think I got laid more because I stopped than I ever would have by trying to push it a little further… Cau- -Tcat, a breeder joining **Esprix** in the corner with a steaming cup of Lady Grey (with Rooibos from South Africa). ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/48 "2001-03-01T12:46:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spooje \* > \*\*I suggest a firearm of some sort. My grandma always said “Nothing takes the fight out of a man like a sucking chest wound!” \*\* Totally! And if you don’t feel comfortable with a sidearm, I have a long handled shovel that should knock his twins out of alignment. . . Tripler Kudos, and glad yer ok! ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/49 "2001-03-01T13:36:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Alphagene \* > \*\*Men who drink tea… never trust 'em. \*\* \<-------spit my Decaf Tea with a real Cinnamon Stick resting in it :rolleyes: . It **DOES** explain why women friends always shy away in abject horror when they offer me a cup of coffee- black, with grounds and an oily surface, and I demur, instead requesting a [Demitasse Cup](http://www.cybercucina.com/cgi-local/SoftCart.exe/ccdocs/products/79424G.html?L+cybercucina+kvju1630+992199907) of Sea Mist Herbal 😃 Okay, seriously? No means no means no. You don’t go playing that " she means yeah, baby, yank my jeans half off so as to cut off the blood supply to the femoral artery whilst also salivating more than a rabid cocker spaniel". I’ve always dreaded the pushy thing, and I’m a man. It’s inconcievable to me ( pardon the pun ) to be so agressive about it. But- even those Members up here who’ve cracked wise about Top/Bottom issues have also made it clear- it’s not about domination or submission, it’s about respect. Overused word, but appropriate here. Magda, you had a half-nice evening with a predator who couldn’t restrain, and I’m sorry. Somewhere out there are gobs of men whose minds don’t tick that way. \ 😉 Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/50 "2001-03-01T14:04:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > **('gene, can you remember - should I go Rada or Petro for my ceremony? Drums. I need drums.)** Hmmm… I dunno, but I bet Erzulie would love a piece of this guy. Just don’t track goat’s blood all over my nice forum. I just hotwaxed it. ---
**Author:** ![Alonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Alonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alonist)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/51 "2001-03-01T14:26:55Z")
I’d like to say a word of sympathy for the guy…he’s needy, awkward with women, was overcome by his need but did _not_ rape anybody that we know of. Could have been me, in a different incarnation. A “creep” is (sometimes) just somebody with relationship problems. I’ve never come close to forcing anyone, that I remember, but it has **always** hurt, physically, to walk away when told “No”, and it hurts emotionally to be rejected sexually; I don’t know if that’s a guy thing or if it’s just me, since I’m never attracted to anybody I don’t like. And I think dating for sex is a great idea- sex without dating would be even better; I hate going out. Okay, rant over. BTW, Cranky’s blowjob suggestion would have worked wonderfully for me, at least, in such a situation–except I would have been so happy you’d have had trouble getting me off the floor to go home. (aside to xtal: a sexual pariah myself, I’d probably dispute your claim to be “ugly”. “Fat” is pretty objectively provable, but ugly is in the eye of the beholder.) * * * Truth is unavoidable. Facts are slippery. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/52 "2001-03-01T14:35:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alonicist \* > \*\* > > BTW, Cranky’s blowjob suggestion would have worked wonderfully for me, at least, in such a situation–except I would have been so happy you’d have had trouble getting me off the floor to go home. > \*\* Well, indeed. But I hope all readers realize I am just kidding–my entire post was sarcasm. Especially on the blowjob part–here’s Mr. Cranky’s phone number for confirmation…If he starts crying, please cut him a little slack, would you? ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/53 "2001-03-01T14:36:09Z")
> [@](#): > > I just hotwaxed it. Was that a Brazilian wax? Am I stepping somewhere I shouldn’t? ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/54 "2001-03-01T14:38:15Z")
I swear to God, I’ve got to work on my self-esteem. I’m not pushy to a fault. Once, in college, my girlfriend and I were locked in a hot embrace (no sex, just heavy groping), and she got a funny look on her face as we were … ah … shifting around. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, “Sometimes I don’t want you to stop.” I said, “Don’t worry … I’m too scared to go much further.” Sure, it got me undying love and huge bonus points for sensitivity, but I missed out on the hot sex. I know, I know … I’m a wimp. To thine own self be true. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/55 "2001-03-01T14:54:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alonicist \* > \*\*I’d like to say a word of sympathy for the guy…he’s needy, awkward with women, was overcome by his need but did _not_ rape anybody that we know of. > \*\* Better re-check your state laws regarding “Criminal Sexual Contact”. As described, the events could in the State of MI be charged as “Criminal Sexual Contact” in either the 4th or 2nd degree (depending on other factors). sexual contact in these statutes includes physical contact (tho not penetration) of buttocks, thighs, breasts etc… [2nd degree CSC in MI](http://www.michiganlegislature.org/law/GetObject.asp?objName=750-520c&queryid=1109971&highlight=criminal+sexual+conduct#2) [4th degree CSC in MI](http://www.michiganlegislature.org/law/GetObject.asp?objName=750-520e&queryid=1109971&highlight=criminal+sexual+conduct) Now, **mags** has already stated that she didn’t feel that calling the police was the correct response in her circumstances, however, in the interest of eradication of ignorance, it seems appropriate to remind people that the conduct as described **could** result in criminal charges. While your point may have been that no penetration occured, there was, in fact, sexual contact (he grabbed at her pants, implication was that it wasn’t at the cuff), that there was force involved and that there was no consent (especially for the 2nd grab, which occured **after** she’d removed his hand and said ‘no’.). ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/56 "2001-03-01T16:06:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alonicist \* > \*\*And I think dating for sex is a great idea- sex without dating would be even better; I hate going out. Okay, rant over. > \*\* I’m truly sorry you feel that way. For me, the thing I miss **MOST** about being in a relationship are the quiet times. You know (or maybe you dont), when you are just sitting, reading, listening to the radio, watching TV,or whatever; and you look over to see her and you get that wonderful sense of togetherness that does not need anything except their presence. Going _out_ with someone, experiencing life and having it be that much better for the simple fact that you have someone to share it with is one of lifes’ greatest joys. The fact that you would rather just fuck someone and split speaks volumes, none of them particularly good. Sorry if you were just trying out the ole sarcasm generator, but I felt it had to be said. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/57 "2001-03-01T16:19:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alonicist \* > I’d like to say a word of sympathy for the guy…he’s needy, awkward with women, was overcome by his need but did _not_ rape anybody that we know of. Could have been me, in a different incarnation. A “creep” is (sometimes) just somebody with relationship problems. I’ve never come close to forcing anyone, that I remember, but it has **always** hurt, physically, to walk away when told “No”, and it hurts emotionally to be rejected sexually; I don’t know if that’s a guy thing or if it’s just me, since I’m never attracted to anybody I don’t like. And I think dating for sex is a great idea- sex without dating would be even better; I hate going out. Okay, rant over. Yeah, I get that he was overeager and inept with women. It’s not exactly a shocker. And no, he didn’t rape me or come close (thanks for the definitions, **wring** - I think the Voodoo and the nasty email will take care of it). I’m not traumatized, I’m ANNOYED! Irritated. My nose is decidedly out of joint. > [@](#): > > BTW, Cranky’s blowjob suggestion would have worked wonderfully for me, at least, in such a situation–except I would have been so happy you’d have had trouble getting me off the floor to go home. WTF? Are you suggesting that I should have given the guy head in order to stop his groping of me? “Hmmmm…I’m tired of your creepy groping and toothful kissing. Your argument that it’s cold outside is most convincing. I pity your geekiness and ineptness with women, and I’d hate to send you home with hurt feelings. Maybe if I go down on you you’ll stop trying to force sex on me. At least in that position your adam’s apple will stop cutting into my eye socket.” God god, if he’s going for my pants, at least there’s something in it for me. **alconicist** , are you insane? “trouble getting me off the floor to go home” was exactly the trouble I was having. I wanted him off my floor and out my door, not relaxing gratefully while I gagged his semen into my bathroom sink. Do you enjoy being flamed to a toasty crisp? **Tomcat** , ahoj, and excellent post. [sub]What would it take for you to send me some cerne pivo from U Cerneho Vola?[/sub] And **Cranky** , my darling dear - I loved the black and unapologetic sarcasm of your post. We can relive this all at the Flint Dopefest, where I will get you drunk and we can flirt sophomorically with Milo. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/58 "2001-03-01T16:35:38Z")
::Mikey reminds himself to NEVER piss off **magdalene** :: 😉 I’m new to this Pit stuff, so here is my Pitified repsonse **Alonicist** , your dumbass misogynist, selfish, dick centered, self loathing, “poorfatoldme” schtick is waaaaaaaaayyyy too fucking old and tired. Got a problem? Do something about it and quit your fucking whining and most of all, quit blaming others for your internal problems!! I probably look more like you than Brad Pitt, but I am trying to do something about it, and I sure as hell don’t sit around whining about how ugly I am, how women are all bitches because they don’t instantly spread their legs everytime I look at them or how the only thing I want is a meaningless fuck… :rolleyes: Feh, this isn’t worth the effort to type it. ---
**Author:** ![Alonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Alonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alonist)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/59 "2001-03-01T16:50:56Z")
Cranky, your post was obviously satiric, but the bj idea was actually not bad…a little kindness can do wonders for the wounded male ego. Manual stimulation would be less dangerous, of course. magdalene, I’m risking being flamed because although you showed sympathy for him, he was being referred to pretty harshly in some posts. I don’t know that he is a monster; I assume he is a human being and has a lot to learn about women. No, I don’t suggest that you should have acted any differently, just that some geeky guys need kindness more than contempt. Not meant as a personal criticism, just an observation. Intimacy is wonderful, but sex can also incorporate quiet intimacy, or vice versa…or is my sexual experience so sketchy that I am extrapolating from insufficient experience here? Could be. You Pit guys sure know how to give a warm welcome. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2001, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172/60 "2001-03-01T17:18:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alonicist \* > Cranky, your post was obviously satiric, but the bj idea was actually not bad…a little kindness can do wonders for the wounded male ego. Manual stimulation would be less dangerous, of course. Look, genius, once this guy crossed the line from “geeky but sweet” to HOLDING ME DOWN ON MY COUCH, no amount of pity or “kindess” would make me touch his dick with any part of my body. I don’t give a fuck about his wounded male ego - I’m not some kind of sympathetic mother goddess to pathetic geek boys.[sup]1[/sup] Do you get it? The bj idea was **very very very very very bad**. And if he wanted manual stimulation, he should have left when I asked him to and jerked off when he got home. > [@](#): > > magdalene, I’m risking being flamed because although you showed sympathy for him, he was being referred to pretty harshly in some posts. I don’t know that he is a monster; I assume he is a human being and has a lot to learn about women. No, I don’t suggest that you should have acted any differently, just that some geeky guys need kindness more than contempt. Not meant as a personal criticism, just an observation. Geek boy GOT kindness. If he’d left when I wanted him to and hadn’t been so pushy I might have gone out with him again (if I happened to be bored) and maybe taught him a thing or two (if I were REALLY bored and in a generous mood). You risked being flamed because you suggested that oral sex was something I owed him in order to not damage his fragile male ego. Do you even know what oral sex is? (calling **goboy** and **Sue Duhnym** - emergency cleanup on aisle 9) Yeah, some people made virtual (except for **MikeG** - his was real) offers to beat So what? Extreme, yes. Unnecessary, yes. So what? > [@](#): > > Intimacy is wonderful, but sex can also incorporate quiet intimacy, or vice versa…or is my sexual experience so sketchy that I am extrapolating from insufficient experience here? Could be. Don’t sweat it - you gave **MikeG** a chance to show the ladies his sensitive side and lose his Pit virginity. > [@](#): > > You Pit guys sure know how to give a warm welcome. 😃 Yeah, welcome **alconicist** , mental giant and Doper least likely to receive head. [sub]1 It’s frightening how well that describes my dating history. Just call me “magdalene, sympathetic mother goddess to intense geek-boys.”[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-for-dinner-now-get-off-my-fucking-couch/56172.md?page=4)