# Thanks from a lurker **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 10, 2018, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670 "2018-07-10T19:00:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Steve\_McQwark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Steve\_McQwark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_McQwark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/21 "2018-07-11T00:10:20Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Steve-o! Nice to know you. > Don’t mind me, I talk too much. See you around the board. Hey, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you sign some of your posts with my name. That way it looks like I’m actually contributing something and you won’t be accused of talking too much. You could just say, “It’s not me, it’s that Steve McQwark guy.” A win-win. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_McQwark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Steve\_McQwark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_McQwark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/22 "2018-07-11T00:14:35Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > We need to do the SDMB equivalent of dogs sniffing each other… > > 1. Hot dogs - ketchup or mustard? > 2. Toilet paper - over or under? > 3. Corn on the cob - across or around? > > Your answers will tell us all we need to know. 1. We just had hot dogs for supper and the answer is: neither. I ate them plain. 2. I put it on over, but if someone else put it on under I wouldn’t complain. I’d just be so thrilled that someone besides me replaced the toilet paper. 3. This is a trick question. The only appropriate way to eat corn on the cob is across whilst making typewriter noises. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/23 "2018-07-11T00:18:26Z")
> [@Steve\_McQwark](#): > > Are you accusing me of catfishing the board? It’s a fair cop. That’s clearly _my_ job. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/24 "2018-07-11T00:55:29Z")
> [@Steve\_McQwark](#): > > 1. We just had hot dogs for supper and the answer is: neither. I ate them plain. > 2. I put it on over, but if someone else put it on under I wouldn’t complain. I’d just be so thrilled that someone besides me replaced the toilet paper. > 3. This is a trick question. The only appropriate way to eat corn on the cob is across whilst making typewriter noises. We’ll get along just fine. ETA: Your use of “whilst” leads me to believe you are in the UK. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/25 "2018-07-11T00:58:37Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > That’s clearly _my_ job. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/26 "2018-07-11T01:16:11Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > \*Ditto! > > “Steve is the prototypical cool American male. Y’know, I’m talking about Steve McGarrett, alright? Steve Austin, Steve McQueen. Y’know, he’s the guy on his horse, the guy alone. He has his own code of honor, his own code of ethics, his own rules of living, man.”\* > –The Tao Of Steve Did you forget Steve Urkel? ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/27 "2018-07-11T01:21:31Z")
We would all like to forget Steve Urkel, thankyouverymuch. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/28 "2018-07-11T02:02:40Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > We need to do the SDMB equivalent of dogs sniffing each other… > > 1. Hot dogs - ketchup or mustard? > 2. Toilet paper - over or under? > 3. Corn on the cob - across or around? > > Your answers will tell us all we need to know. \ Sssst! Don’t bring out The Questionnaire yet! We don’t want to scare them away! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/29 "2018-07-11T02:03:54Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > We would all like to forget Steve Urkel, thankyouverymuch. Does it help if I say that I don’t know who Steve Urkel is? ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_McQwark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Steve\_McQwark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_McQwark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/30 "2018-07-11T02:12:34Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > We’ll get along just fine. > > ETA: Your use of “whilst” leads me to believe you are in the UK. Nope. Central US my whole life. I’m just a fan of British humor\* and some of them foreign words have slipped into my vocabulary. \*Note the lack of superfluous u’s. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/31 "2018-07-11T02:40:06Z")
> [@Steve\_McQwark](#): > > Nope. Central US my whole life. I’m just a fan of British humor\* and some of them foreign words have slipped into my vocabulary. > > \*Note the lack of superfluous u’s. OK. But I also noticed the use of a superfluous apostrophe. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/32 "2018-07-11T02:44:52Z")
I believe that’s allowed as long as it isn’t taking the place of a superfluous third nipple. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/33 "2018-07-11T03:09:44Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Does it help if I say that I don’t know who Steve Urkel is? Your posting privileges are revoked until you do some homework. Not just Wikipedia…YouTube too. I can do this cuz I’m a Charter Member. Also - Welcome **Steve**! I like your wishy-washy (plain hot dogs, not complaining about toilet paper) ways! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/34 "2018-07-11T03:17:15Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Does it help if I say that I don’t know who Steve Urkel is? > **[Steve Urkel](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Urkel)** > > Steven Quincy Urkel is a fictional character on the American ABC/CBS sitcom Family Matters, portrayed by Jaleel White. Originally slated for a single appearance, he broke out to be the show's most popular character, gradually becoming its protagonist. Due to the character's off-putting characteristics, a tendency to stir up events, and his role in the show's plotlines, he is considered a nuisance by the original protagonist's family, the Winslows. However, they come to accept him The characte... Your life is probably richer for not knowing who he is. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/35 "2018-07-11T03:24:06Z")
Mmmf mr mfrrrnf _ka-ching_ :: rattle rattle :: \ There. I just renewed my subscription. I can post again. (It slipped my mind in the seething chaos of the past few months.) 🙂 (Though I lost the ‘Charter Member’ designation, which was only for members who signed up for pay membership when the board’s went pay, and kept it up continuously… :: snif :: ) ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/36 "2018-07-11T03:27:22Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > [Steve Urkel - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Urkel) > > Your life is probably richer for not knowing who he is. I’d have to agree with this. Once you know, you can never un-know. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/37 "2018-07-11T03:28:27Z")
Well I am just the guest. Treat me like you would if I came to your house. I demand breakfast in bed and giant T.V. in the guest suite. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/38 "2018-07-11T06:50:23Z")
“Supper” was the middle-US giveaway, although maybe other parts of the world use it, too. Anyway, welcome! ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/39 "2018-07-11T07:21:30Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > We would all like to forget Steve Urkel, thankyouverymuch. What is the sound of one Steve Urkel falling in the forest if there is no one to hear it? . … … I don’t even know why I typed this. Maybe Tequila? 😃 . . That’s wots on my face, right now! ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670/40 "2018-07-11T08:22:05Z")
Nice post, **Steve**. Welcome to the Dope, and I look forward to chatting with you from time to time. You have to be wary of traps like the one below, though. > [@snowthx](#): > > We need to do the SDMB equivalent of dogs sniffing each other… > > 1. Hot dogs - ketchup or mustard? > 2. Toilet paper - over or under? > 3. Corn on the cob - across or around? > > Your answers will tell us all we need to know. I’m going to defuse your shameless nefarious trap by providing the correct answers, which of course have been known to all civilized peoples for a very long time. 1. With hot dogs – and only with hot dogs – basic yellow mustard. Period. No debate. In my house, that’s after you’ve slathered on the balsamic onions. With everything else on earth that requires mustard, Dijon only. Ketchup must be good for something because I go through a bottle of it about every year or so, though I’m damned if I can remember what anyone would ever use it for. A bottle of ketchup around here lasts almost as long as yellow mustard. 1. Toilet paper of course must be installed such that the action of pulling it out tends to lift the roll and lessen the rolling friction rather than doing the opposite. Therefore, over, so that it pulls out and up from underneath. Anything else betrays the kind of doofus whose witless lack of analytical thinking has probably given him an abysmal driving record, mostly full of fender-benders, for which he blames bad luck and Asian drivers. No, it’s you. Look at how you installed the toilet paper. 2. It’s corn on the cob, not a harmonica. But if you want to do your impression of Dylan’s “Desolation Row”, knock yourself out. I’m just gonna eat my corn. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-from-a-lurker/817670.md?page=3)