### Author:  [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2000, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/1 "2000-11-17T16:45:42Z")
Just when you thought Sharper Image had exhausted its ideas drawer full of crappy, annoying gifts, they come up with Mickey’s Dixieland Band Telephone, as devious a torture device as the Iron Maiden.
Mickey, Goofy and Donald play [shudder] “Dixieland tunes” when someone calls, and exchange such razor-sharp Noel Coward dialogue as, “Are you sure this is a real call? It could be a phone-y!” and “Just don’t call me late for dinner!” No doubt you will be rolling on the floor with hilarity and unable to even lift the receiver.
And all this for only $79.95! Get me one for every room! I’ll put 'em right under my singing wall bass!
Think I’m making this up? [http://www.sharperimage.com/us/en/catalog/productview.jhtml?sku=QF080](http://www.sharperimage.com/us/en/catalog/productview.jhtml?sku=QF080)
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### Author:  [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/2 "2000-11-17T16:48:48Z")
Oh no! My parents said they were getting a new phone before I came home!
\
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### Author:  [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2000, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/3 "2000-11-17T16:50:51Z")
It’s a signal to would-be thieves: there is nothing of value here, go elsewhere.
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### Author:  [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2000, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/4 "2000-11-17T16:51:29Z")
You forgot to mention the funniest thing on the page.
> [@](#):
>
> Characters tell jokes as Donald bends to avoid Goofy’s trombone slide.
We all know what they _really_ mean when they say Goofy’s trombone slide, don’t we.
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### Author:  [@WillyK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WillyK)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2000, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/5 "2000-11-17T16:54:32Z")
I used to love getting the Sharper Image catolog and even purchased a cool diving watch from them about 15 years ago. The watch was made very well and lasted many years. Now, they have nothin’ but crap! They really lost credibility with me when they started selling all the magnet crap. They really had cool stuff and now I can’t even look at it. What a shame!
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### Author:  [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2000, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/6 "2000-11-17T16:59:08Z")
Yeah . . . And I’ll bet good ol’ Harriet Carter will have a version of this same phone, for only $25! Right next to the Electric Nose-Hair Clippers and the Sheepskin Toilet-Seat Covers!
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### Author:  [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2000, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/7 "2000-11-17T17:03:59Z")
Perfect! I’ve been looking for something just tacky enough to replace my Duck Phone (and it was starting to look like I’d have to travel all the way to Japan and get a Sailor Moon pnone to replace it).
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/8 "2000-11-17T17:04:27Z")
Now, now - don’t go dissin’ Harriet!!
Oh, wait… I’ve seen those catalogs… forget I said anything…
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### Author:  [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2000, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/9 "2000-11-17T18:28:20Z")
Ahhh, the magic of Disney marketing.
I myself want to became rich enough and eccentric enough to buy several life sized imperial storm troopers and stage mock battles in my house.
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### Author:  [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2000, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/10 "2000-11-17T19:15:57Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Mullinator \*
> \*\*I myself want to became rich enough and eccentric enough to buy several life sized imperial storm troopers and stage mock battles in my house. \*\*
This is also one of my personal wealth goals. We’ll have to have a couple of battles.
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### Author:  [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2000, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/11 "2000-11-18T17:37:26Z")
\*\*\*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!
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### Author:  [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2000, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/12 "2000-11-18T23:31:48Z")
Give Sharper Image a little credit!! At least they are not advertising the phone as using _ **Ions** _!! WTF is up with half the crap in their store claiming to use Ionization for the benefit of mankind. Ionic toothbrushes, air cleaners, tie cleaners, show cleaners, Ionic portable DVD players… I just dont get it!!!
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### Author:  [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/13 "2000-11-18T23:57:42Z")
That’s pretty…um, elaborate.
What it dredges up in my mind is that my favorite uncle is a jazz musician, who long ago did the Dixieland gig in Disneyland. The working conditions were less than optimal, and the musicians often referred to their venue as “Mouschwitz” and “Duckau”.
Since my uncle has often recorded Dixieland stuff for Disney, I have a sinking feeling that he may have been involved with this. Especially since he’s often called upon to play trombone. Hell, he’s an inventor-type too, and it could well have been his idea to have Donald duck…
If this pans out, Eve, mebbe I can get ya a discount. Or at least, there might be an array of worthwhile Disney-banned outtakes.
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### Author:  [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2000, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/14 "2000-11-19T01:56:04Z")
Wow. That would go perfectly with my matching Disney dinnerware that I aquired by eating my way through 23 Happy Meals at McDonalds. I think I’ll put it right below my velvet painting of Elvis. Which, of course, hangs directly below my velvet paining of Jesus. Oh, wait, I have to go. The marketing fairy is telling me to snap up every Grinch tie-in I can get before I actually see the blasphemous film.
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### Author:  [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2000, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/15 "2000-11-19T02:06:26Z")
**Eve** , you’re the epitome of sense and taste but wouldja _cheezit_ already? Some people are in the nether regions of enforced Christmas shopping, here.
This is a public bulletin board, fercryinoudloud. Sure, most of our relatives don’t hang around here, because their prehensile, dragging, non-opposible thumbed fists won’t fit on the keyboard.
_They’re the ones we’re buying the Sharper Image Batter Operated Nose Hair Clippers for!_
Sheesh, and she’s usually so smooth.
Let’s just hope she didn’t blow the scam on the sausage logs, foil-wrapped nuggets of government-rejected cheese and political-face Chia pots.
Veb
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### Author:  [@Shingen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shingen)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2000, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/16 "2000-11-22T05:44:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Inky- \*
> \*\*Perfect! I’ve been looking for something just tacky enough to replace my Duck Phone (and it was starting to look like I’d have to travel all the way to Japan and get a Sailor Moon pnone to replace it). \*\*
Good luck finding a Sailor Moon phone here. Sailor Moon has been off the air for years, and it’s next to impossible to find Sailor Moon stuff anymore. Pokemon is quickly going that way as well. Hello Kitty is still going strong though, in spite of the fact that she doesn’t have a mouth.
BTW, I think I saw an overseas animated Kitty that had a mouth. Can anyone confirm that?
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### Author:  [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2000, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/17 "2000-11-22T05:56:40Z")
Are you telling us that there is an end to the Pokemon craze? Thank you… you’re now my new hero…
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### Author:  [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)
#### Post date: [November 22, 2000, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-sharper-image-just-what-i-wanted/41608/18 "2000-11-22T15:53:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TVeblen \*
> **political-face Chia pots.**
Wow, do they got Lenin?