# Thanks "Team" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 17, 2010, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967 "2010-11-17T12:58:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/41 "2010-11-17T22:38:33Z")
Heh - if nothing happens, spend a few bucks and have a big bouquet of flowers and balloons and cookies delivered to yourself at work, with a huge Happy Birthday balloon prominent. Then don’t share the cookies. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/42 "2010-11-18T04:01:50Z")
> [@Bibliovore](#): > > Bah! Anyway my supervisor (who to be fair is new and has only been with us a couple of months at most) replied to say that my birthday was noted and that she was shocked at the team neglecting me. Your timing was perfect - new boss, who wasn’t here last year when they forgot your birthday, so your comment wasn’t in any way a criticism of her, and she’s able to make a change as part of the general “new broom” thing. ---
**Author:** ![Cell\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Cell\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cell_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/43 "2010-11-18T04:30:32Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > The ratio of cake to people is too small! Last time I didn’t receive a piece…and I was told… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/44 "2010-11-18T04:36:16Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > Your timing was perfect - new boss, who wasn’t here last year when they forgot your birthday, so your comment wasn’t in any way a criticism of her, and she’s able to make a change as part of the general “new broom” thing. Good point! I hope that clears things up for you, **Bibliovore**. No one likes feeling like they aren’t being treated as well as other people. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/45 "2010-11-18T04:39:41Z")
That happened to me once, at this place I worked at back in Albuquerque. It was a tradition that everyone got a cake and a card and a jicky little present on their birthday. My day came around, and I kept waiting, waiting, but nothing. Finally toward the end of the day, I mentioned it to the lady in charge of keeping track of this, some sort of assistant manager, and she was horrified she’d missed it. Got the cake etc a day or two later. I worked there for only nine months, so I didn’t get the chance to see if it would happen again. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/46 "2010-11-18T05:06:01Z")
> [@Cell\_Guy](#): > > Last time I didn’t receive a piece…and I was told… We only had three bits - didn’t expect such a rush. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/47 "2010-11-18T07:53:45Z")
If they “forget” to get you cake even after receiving your email… well, that’d be the last straw. Time to pack up your stapler and burn the place down. ---
**Author:** ![Bibliovore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Bibliovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliovore)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/48 "2010-11-18T10:59:20Z")
Let’s see what happens. They can either do it on the Friday before my birthday or the Monday after. If they don’t do anything at all, then it’ll just goes to show how much I’m really valued around here. Seriously though, I don’t want to be a whiner about this, but these sorts of small tokens of appreciation are important too. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/49 "2010-11-18T11:20:32Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I’m going to guess that forgetting your birthday for four years is a function of someone missing putting it on the repeating calendar the first year, and it never getting put on afterwards because you’ve never mentioned it. This is a very easy thing to fix - _tell_ someone! Unless, of course, you’d rather nurse your hurt feelings. Pretty sure this’ll be it. Although we missed Paul’s birthday this week because the woman who keeps track of the birthdays is on leave and wasn’t around to tell the guy who does all the social arrangements. So we fixed up the automated emails to tell both of them. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/50 "2010-11-18T11:53:38Z")
We celebrate people’s birthdays by going out to lunch, if the person wants it. What’s funny is that my birthday falls in a span in which three people have birthdays in nine days, and then there was another group of three guys who had their birthday on the same day, although one just left. So my lunch is usually a group birthday lunch, and you know what? I don’t care. I get to have a nice lunch with good friends. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/51 "2010-11-18T12:14:17Z")
> [@llcoolbj77](#): > > In my office, the Birthday boy or girl is obligated to bring in treats on their own birthday. (With 11 attorneys, and 5 support staff, it would be a ridiculous # of birthday cakes/celebrations). Then, a group will usually go out to said birthday person’s favorite place for lunch, with lunch paid for by the group. That is exactly how we did it now, except the Bday boy or girl is not obligated to do anything if they don’t want to. We used to post a Birthday list, and would celebrate major milestones (e.g. 50th) by bringing in cake, but a few people did fall through the cracks, especially those who sat in our area but weren’t technically in our department. Then we had a major reorganization and it was impossible to keep up with everyone, so we abandoned that system for the one described above. And it’s so much nicer. Some people bring in a cake, some people bring in snacks, one dude brought in chocolate covered strawberries (mmmm), and some people don’t bring anything at all. As is their prerogative. But there’s no more hurt feelings because if YOU can’t remember your own birthday, then don’t blame us! PSA: BTW, if you do have a person at your work who is responsible for decorating cubicles or bringing in cakes or getting folks to sign a birthday card at your work, be sure to ask her if she’s getting reimbursed for her trouble. Our department secretary was doing all of that, and I learned by accident that she was only getting reimbursed for the cakes. She was paying for the decorations and cards out of her own pocket. So do your part to make her whole if you can. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/52 "2010-11-18T12:20:50Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > the bosses didn’t even mail cards out to our _clients_. :rolleyes: Good for them. Who reads those things anyway? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/53 "2010-11-18T15:31:18Z")
> [@Bibliovore](#): > > Let’s see what happens. They can either do it on the Friday before my birthday or the Monday after. If they don’t do anything at all, then it’ll just goes to show how much I’m really valued around here. Seriously though, I don’t want to be a whiner about this, but these sorts of small tokens of appreciation are important too. Quick exercise: list your ten closest friends. How many of their birthdays can you name? I’m zero for ten. Hey. I’m three for three on my wife ‘n’ kids. But I just don’t keep track of birthdays… or anniversaries. Quick exercise: list ten workmates. How many of their birthdays can you name? I like my co-workers, but have no idea how old they are, where they went to high school, how they’re doing in Farmville, what they drove in the 80s. Or their birthdays… or even their ages or whether they’re straight (the last two are always a surprise to me). And i’m so grateful that no one does the Birthday Cake ‘n’ Singing thing at work. Maybe you _are_ valued, but for your personality and skills, and not for which day you’re born on. _ **The key to getting through the work day is to NOT take anything personally.** _ ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/54 "2010-11-18T16:19:51Z")
We keep an Excel document with everyone’s birthday on our resources drive. Everyone can edit it, so you can add your own birthday. We usually pass a card around with an envelope where everyone chips in 20p-£1\*, and buy a cake for the birthday person. There’s only 9 people in our department, so it’s not too much of a hardship, and it’s fun to gather around someone’s desk\* at the end of a workday and have cake. Mmmmcake. \*nobody is obligated at all ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2010, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/55 "2010-11-19T02:49:22Z")
When someone quit, it was tradition at one of my last jobs to take the person leaving out to lunch and give them a farewell present. I was only there 9 months. Right before I left, another co-worker resigned and they did the whole shebang. When it was time for me to leave, I decided to get everyone in the office (10 people) small gifts as tokens of my appreciation. They were simple things, like I gave one guy a polished tiger-eye stone another girl got a piece of a natural crystal. I handed them out at lunch and overhead my boss say, “Now I feel like a real ass for not getting her anything.” Seriously, the bitchy office girl decided since I hadn’t been there a year, I wasn’t entitled to get a gift. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2010, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/56 "2010-11-19T03:17:40Z")
> [@digs](#): > > \ > > _ **The key to getting through the work day is to NOT take anything personally.** _ I’ll give you an amen on that. I’m working part-time at a temp assignment right now; everyone in my department went out for a couple of hours today; they told me they were leaving, and told me when they got back, but didn’t tell me anything else and I didn’t ask. I just did my job, then I went home. 🙂 I’ll admit that it is easier to not give a rat’s ass when you’re a temp, but temping is a great way to learn _how_ to not take it seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2010, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/57 "2010-11-19T03:57:52Z")
Seriously? Birthday parties? With cake and singing? At work? Do you play pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, too? > [@digs](#): > > Quick exercise: list your ten closest friends. How many of their birthdays can you name? Well, one of my friends’ birthday is Sept. 11, so I remember that one. ☹ Poor guy. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2010, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/58 "2010-11-19T04:05:50Z")
I request my birthday off every year and in the 2 birthdays I’ve had at this company, I’ve never gotten a card or a cake (though I’ve signed plenty of cards for other people). No harm, no foul IMO. Who wants to be working on their birthday?? Of course I prefer to exclude myself from things anyway… but I still think you’re overreacting. I don’t expect ANYTHING from the people I work with. Though I was upset when my sister sent a card with no gift for my bday this year. fffffff ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2010, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/59 "2010-11-19T08:25:05Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > I request my birthday off every year and in the 2 birthdays I’ve had at this company, I’ve never gotten a card or a cake (though I’ve signed plenty of cards for other people). No harm, no foul IMO. Who wants to be working on their birthday?? > > Of course I prefer to exclude myself from things anyway… but I still think you’re overreacting. I don’t expect ANYTHING from the people I work with. Though I was upset when my sister sent a card with no gift for my bday this year. fffffff But does everyone else get stuff on their birthday when you don’t? That seems to be the OP’s beef. They set up this expectation that people get stuff on their birthday, but don’t deliver for the OP. It’s actually similar to your thing with your sister. She set up the expectation that she’ll send you a gift, and then doesn’t, so that makes you upset. Even I know to, if you can’t afford to give someone a gift, to make a point of sharing that in the card. “Times are hard, and money is tight, but doesn’t mean I can’t give what little I have to my sister on her special day. Best Wishes–Sis.” ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2010, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967/60 "2010-11-19T08:56:18Z")
I have a birthday coming up soon. I’m dreading it. I hope they don’t have a card that everyone’s been forced to sign to give to me. They probably will though. I hate those things. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanks-team/560967.md?page=4)