# Thanksgiving help needed **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 17, 2017, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857 "2017-11-17T08:21:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2017, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/21 "2017-11-18T01:20:45Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > **Johnny L.A.**'s link shows a bland, dry-looking beast, though at least it’s not ground-up and spongy. That will take some effort to make moist and tasty, if it can be. The link goes to one cooked in a crock pot. Personally, I do no cook poultry in a crock pot because I’m concerned the white meat will be dry. I just wanted to show the opened package and the texture of the meat, the latter showing it’s ‘solid’ as opposed to ‘chopped and formed’. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2017, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/22 "2017-11-18T23:02:34Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > Yeah, it’s a Butterball: > Yeah, high chance of spongy grossness, I thought. > > **Johnny L.A.**'s link shows a bland, dry-looking beast, though at least it’s not ground-up and spongy. That will take some effort to make moist and tasty, if it can be. Maybe save back some drippings before making the gravy, and pour it over the cut meat. Maybe a little butter melted in. . . looks like it will be tough and dry to me. Thanks for the link, Johnny. If it has dark meat, it’s not a breast. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2017, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/23 "2017-11-19T01:32:29Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > If it has dark meat, it’s not a breast. [I think you need to tell the good folks at Butterball this.](http://www.butterball.com/products/turkey-roasts-and-whole-breasts/breast-meat-roast) I simply typed what’s on the label. Apparently the name, “Breast Roast” can cover for multiple sins, including being part dark meat, and being up to 20% water. Disturbing, ain’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Arkcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Arkcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arkcon)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2017, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/24 "2017-11-19T02:05:24Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > Plus, note the “elderly” and “dementia-addled” description in the OP. I’m looking for traditional here. This turkey meat mix should roast up into a reasonable semblance of turkey,once sliced and put on a plate, it will look like dinner. I think, what’s needed to make the event to suit the crowd, is making sure that sides are traditional enough on the plate to mask the lack of jutting out leg bones. Stuffing, mashed potatoes, marshmallow coated sweet potatoes, the pies, cranberry sauce sliced from the can, that sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2017, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/25 "2017-11-19T02:18:18Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > It IS a turkey breast roast. I tried to write it up as accurately as I could, [but now found a link to it.](http://www.butterball.com/products/turkey-roasts-and-whole-breasts/breast-meat-roast) A roast turkey that includes microwave directions is not the most confidence inspiring hunk of beast. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2017, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/26 "2017-11-19T03:45:10Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > [I think you need to tell the good folks at Butterball this.](http://www.butterball.com/products/turkey-roasts-and-whole-breasts/breast-meat-roast) I simply typed what’s on the label. Apparently the name, “Breast Roast” can cover for multiple sins, including being part dark meat, and being up to 20% water. Disturbing, ain’t it? No, your link goes to a BREAST roast, which has NO dark meat. This is the one with both white and dark meat: > **[Boneless Frozen Turkey Roast - White & Dark Meat](https://www.butterball.com/products/turkey-breast-roast/boneless-frozen-roast)** > > Our Butterball Frozen Boneless Turkey Roast features juicy white and dark meat and includes a gravy packet. With both white and dark meat, there's a cut to suit everyone's palate. I’m not sure why you keep insisting otherwise. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2017, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/27 "2017-11-19T04:04:14Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > No, your link goes to a BREAST roast, which has NO dark meat. > > This is the one with both white and dark meat: > > [http://www.butterball.com/products/turkey-roasts-and-whole-breasts/boneless-turkey-roast](http://www.butterball.com/products/turkey-roasts-and-whole-breasts/boneless-turkey-roast) > > I’m not sure why you keep insisting otherwise. :dubious: Because IT FUCKING SAYS THAT ON MY BIRD\*. - - ish thing. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2017, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/28 "2017-11-19T04:11:20Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > Maybe take a stab at gluten-free stuffing, but I can’t have onions these days either, which hurts the cause. Not sure I can approximate my favorite stuffing with so many changes. Why don’t you try a rice-based stuffing? We usually do a mix of wild and basmati rice with mushrooms, but you could add whatever you wanted, really - it’s a nice canvas for many things. And no worries about gluten or mediocre gluten-free bread. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2017, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/29 "2017-11-19T04:47:28Z")
> [@Eva\_Luna](#): > > Why don’t you try a rice-based stuffing? We usually do a mix of wild and basmati rice with mushrooms, but you could add whatever you wanted, really - it’s a nice canvas for many things. And no worries about gluten or mediocre gluten-free bread. That’s a thought. I might just look into that, as rice is one of my better-tolerated foods. Thanks for reminding me. **For D’Anconia:** [Here’s the roast-creature from the freezer, like a Bat Out of Hell.](http://i68.tinypic.com/207b8kj.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2017, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/30 "2017-11-19T12:54:05Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > I said. . .TRA. DIT. ION. AL. I feel your pain, especially with your mum and all, but I couldn’t help but think of [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRdfX7ut8gw). ---
**Author:** ![brainstall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@brainstall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainstall)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2017, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/31 "2017-11-19T13:18:55Z")
It could be worse - she could have brought you a Tofurkey, lol. I like them, but no one else in my family does. To me, the turkey is just one part of all the good things in a Thanksgiving meal and gravy and cranberry sauce hide a lot. I’m pretty sure I had one of those prefab turkey roasts a few years ago at a friend’s place and it was pretty good. For sure not the same as meat carved off the freshly roasted bird, but for only two of us eating it, it was tasty and easy to prepare, and didn’t leave a lot of leftovers. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2017, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/32 "2017-11-20T17:18:20Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > That’s a thought. I might just look into that, as rice is one of my better-tolerated foods. Thanks for reminding me. \*\*Eva Luna’\*\*s rice-based stuffing is a good suggestion. The other suggestion I would make would be a gluten-free cornbread stuffing, if you like cornbread. I’m not sure how to work around the “no onions” thing, since that’s a pretty common savory flavor component, but maybe you have some strategies for that. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2017, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/33 "2017-11-20T17:39:56Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > The other suggestion I would make would be a gluten-free cornbread stuffing, if you like cornbread. When I make cornbread, there’s wheat flour in it. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2017, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/34 "2017-11-20T17:53:53Z")
I just checked and apparently there is Trader Joe’s close to where you live, and they do have gluten-free stuffing mix which I had last year and was edible. Esp. with gravy. Good luck. And personally I love the idea of turkey breast roast with dark meat. Oh, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2017, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/35 "2017-11-20T17:54:30Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > When I make cornbread, there’s wheat flour in it. You can substitute corn flour for the wheat flour. I use 3/4 cup corn flour and 1/4 cup corn starch for 1 cup of white flour to get the consistency right. And if you aren’t doing so already add corn oil and grease the pan with corn oil for even more flavor. The aromatics that are still in the oil are mostly gone from the dried meal and flour and really kick up the flavor. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2017, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/36 "2017-11-20T22:53:58Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > When I make cornbread, there’s wheat flour in it. As **Tripolar** says, there are gluten-free cornbread recipes. They look fine to me, as fine as a recipe on paper can be I guess. No personal experience, because I happen to like gluten, and it likes me well enough. I like the rice-based stuffing idea more and more the more I think about it. Something with a good long-grain rice plus wild rice, for instance. Mushrooms; they always seem to go well with wild rice. Very appealing, it seems. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2017, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/37 "2017-11-20T23:16:36Z")
I’ve had one of those roast things before. The addition of the dark meat keeps it from getting too dry. It’s been years since I had it, but I think it was a bit on the salty side. But I’ve had worse. For stuffing, if you have Schär gluten free bread available, it has a very neutral taste. It works really well in bread pudding, so I’m guessing it would work well in stuffing, too, when it comes to both holding itself together and having a nice flavor. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2017, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/38 "2017-11-23T12:11:01Z")
Well, gonna be a bare-bones sort of boneless turkey dinner. We’ll have a couple sides, and such, but I haven’t had time to buy things before today, or even think much about it beyond this thread. Been sick of late, got worse in recent days and went to the ER, as I was hurting a great deal and I couldn’t get in to see my GI until the beginning of December. Just a over-achieving Crohn’s flare as it turns out, with all the fun that entails, but at least no new fistulas or pockets of infections. Small favors. Hoping the prednisone I got knocks down the inflammation. Prednisone sucks. Anyway, didn’t have much time or energy to devote to much of anything. Since the steroids mess with my sleep and the house is quiet for a change, I’m sitting here thinking how I’m gonna do up the turkey ‘roast’. I couldn’t get turkey wings or legs at this late date (Wednesday), but I fell back on **Maserschmidt’s** idea and grabbed a small pack of skin-on chicken drumsticks to add fat and flavor to the works. Not sure how I’m gonna do this. Was thinking of using a roast bag, then opening it for 20 minutes or so at the end to get the skin somewhat crisp. Trying to decide when to add the drumsticks. Thought maybe during the last hour as well, around the bottom of the roast. Maybe I’ll bag 'em separate from the roast and mix everything when it’s done cooking. It might taste better to let the legs and their fats/juices mingle with the roast as long as possible, but cooking separately would make figuring out the cooking process easier. . .but bagging them together might be easier WRT oven space and logistics once I figure out the placement of the drumsticks and the cooking time. Geez, I wish I’d have bought the bird instead. I’m overthinking it, I guess, but we only have turkey once or twice a year. Why make it more half-assed than I need to? I finally get the chance to cook the turkey myself and make gluten-free gravy so that I could have it too, and I end up with something weird. > [@jsgoddess](#): > > For stuffing, if you have Schär gluten free bread available, it has a very neutral taste. It works really well in bread pudding, so I’m guessing it would work well in stuffing, too, when it comes to both holding itself together and having a nice flavor. Never had Schar gluten-free bread. Better than Udi’s, then? Udi’s is kind of sad, spongy, tough and dry. Tastes better if you toast it. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2017, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/39 "2017-11-23T13:09:10Z")
I’m late to the party, alas - I would have suggested taking off the net and then wrapping the “turkey” in bacon before roasting Extra flavor, extra fat, and you end up with bacon too. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2017, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857/40 "2017-11-23T13:47:16Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > I’m late to the party, alas - I would have suggested taking off the net and then wrapping the “turkey” in bacon before roasting > > Extra flavor, extra fat, and you end up with bacon too. Dang. That’s good. . .don’t care for the smokey flavor in the turkey and gravy usually, but I might have given this a go anyway, because bacon. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-help-needed/801857.md?page=3)