### Author:  [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)
#### Post date: [November 27, 2014, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-quote-thread-2014/705745/1 "2014-11-27T03:50:54Z")
Yeah, I don’t know if there was one for 2013, but I have to share one that already happened; I’m sure folk will have plenty to share by the time the weekend’s over. 🙂
So…I’m in the kitchen with my mother in law, (very Spanish Catholic), her lesbian sister, and my sister in law; we are all attempting to shove a 30 pound turkey into a 20 pound bag, more or less.
Mother in law -“Just kind of put it on like a sock, or a condom…”
Me: \
Lesbian aunt-in-law: “Well, I’m out. I’ll leave it to you with more experience.”
Me: /dead on floor from lack of oxygen
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [November 27, 2014, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-quote-thread-2014/705745/2 "2014-11-27T03:57:51Z")
I’ll just pop in to leave the ultimate Thanksgiving quote.
[As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FXSnoy71Q4)
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### Author:  [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)
#### Post date: [November 27, 2014, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-quote-thread-2014/705745/3 "2014-11-27T05:00:13Z")
> [@kunilou](#):
>
> I’ll just pop in to leave the ultimate Thanksgiving quote.
>
> [As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FXSnoy71Q4)
I was going to misquote this on Facebook today, after putting my turkey in the brine. Something about thinking turkeys could swim.
But then I decided that my friends might not get the joke, and it wasn’t worth the effort.
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### Author:  [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)
#### Post date: [November 27, 2014, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-quote-thread-2014/705745/4 "2014-11-27T12:38:50Z")
Remember the show “Win Ben Stein’s Money”?
My favorite category from that show:
The Pilgrim Was So Full After Thanksgiving Dinner He Had To Unbuckle His Hat.
mmm
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [November 27, 2014, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-quote-thread-2014/705745/5 "2014-11-27T14:08:07Z")
This is both a quote and a challenge, issued annually by my sister, who starts her day with Bloody Marys and keeps going thru dinner:
“I’ll pay $5 to anyone who drinks the pitcher of gravy!”
So far, there have been no takers, probably because no one else starts Thanksgiving with Bloody Marys and keeps going…
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### Author:  [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)
#### Post date: [November 27, 2014, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-quote-thread-2014/705745/6 "2014-11-27T15:22:28Z")
There was a time…
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### Author:  [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)
#### Post date: [November 27, 2014, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-quote-thread-2014/705745/7 "2014-11-27T22:36:37Z")
“He’s not bad looking for a colored boy”
Various comments about bowel movements.
“You know, if you lost weight and drank cranberry juice, your little kidney ‘issue’ would be fixed - I know, because my cousin…”(I walked away)
“Stop signs are optional”
All from my hosts mother. She so makes me appreciate my crazy mother SO much.
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### Author:  [@Tread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tread)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2014, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thanksgiving-quote-thread-2014/705745/8 "2014-11-28T09:08:28Z")
> [@MissTake](#):
>
> Stop signs are optional
>
> .
Only the ones, with white borders