# Thankyou S.O. for ripping out my beating heart and stomping on it **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 5, 2001, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656 "2001-11-05T19:48:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BalmainBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@BalmainBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BalmainBoy)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/21 "2001-11-06T01:21:22Z")
Assuming her words were heartfelt, and not in an _ironic_ atmosphere, I bet she comes back in two months or so and says “you were right”. So I hope it’s a learning experience for her as well, and not a total waste of effort and emotion. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/22 "2001-11-06T01:36:19Z")
I just want to say how happy I am that this OP didn’t end (as many seem to): > [@](#): > > I know she’s treated me bad, but I love her! Please tell me how I can win her back. Small consolation, but your life is better now. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/23 "2001-11-06T01:38:09Z")
Or what was that one the other day that ended > [@](#): > > We’ve talked it out. We’re holding hands and carving pumpkins and all is right in the world. ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/24 "2001-11-06T03:22:47Z")
> [@](#): > > she was being incredibly dry and sarcastic initially, and when that didn’t work she resorted to self-deprecation to try and remove herself from any guilt she might feel. Nope. She wasn’t being sarcastic. In retrospect, through knowing her, I truly believe she gets some sick form of pride and joy from her decadence. The set of Jerry Springer’s show must be nearby me. \ > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by PunditLisa \* > \*\*So your SO is drawn to people who were not emotionally available and who couldn’t commit. She’d rather be with someone who is exciting versus someone who is reliable. > > Now, forgive me for being so blunt, but are you quite sure that you’re not guilty of the same thing…of being attracted to people who are no good for you? Because she doesn’t sound like a nice woman and I’m wondering what it is about her that attracted you in the first place. > \*\* To be perfectly honest, I will have to say that, no, I do not deliberately become attracted to people who are no good for me. I suppose this may have been the exception. This particular dating experience was unlike any other I have ever had. I admit, I may be partially at fault for not seeing the danger signs earlier. OTOH, she truly had me convinced she really liked me for who I am… until now. [off-topic]RE: previous relationships… The relationship I had _before_ this one, was a very good one. I have a lot of wonderful memories. Unfortunately, although we got along well and deeply cared for one another, there were some things we just couldn’t work out, which weren’t necessarily personal. I never had a bad experience in _that_ relationship, nor do I have anything bad to say about that exgf. Gotta let go, and move on, though.[/off-topic] I just hope that the **OP** two-timing slut doesn’t show up at my door one day in the near future. I will have to tell her to go the fuck home and screw Mr. so-and-so. I blocked her from messaging me. She hasn’t tried calling me, but if she does, shes not getting an answer. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/25 "2001-11-06T04:21:49Z")
magical\_silver\_key: I guess I count for nothing? woman:you’re too nice magical\_silver\_key: I knew it magical\_silver\_key: what is too nice? magical\_silver\_key: how can nice be bad? woman:you care about my feelings magical\_silver\_key: what is wrong with caring about you? woman:you’re not emotionally distant woman:there’s nothing wrong with that woman:I want him to care about me the way you do Allow me to say; **What a sick twisted waste-of-skin piece of excrement walking around on two legs!** How do people come up with this sort of hypocritical garbage? “You’re too nice.” “You care about my feelings.” “You’re not emotionally distant.” **What a fucking tripe volcano!** (Been waiting to use that one.) My heart goes out to you **MSK**. To have your virtues used against you as shortcomings is about the lowest and most psychotic horseshit imaginable. However difficult it is for me to condone violence against women, I’ll certainly not be heartbroken if she ends up getting the shit beat out of her by her “emtionally distant” bad-boy asshole two timing boyfriend. The sort of unmitigated hogwash makes me puke. I have had similar things said to me and the women who said them went off to live glamorous lives as heroin addicts or street people. It is so fucking hard for me to feel sorry for these types. “Let’s see, first I’ll rip his heart out and then I’ll make a total fucking shambles of my life to punish him for stopping loving me.” Stop me now or I’ll rant for hours about this! I’m really glad you got out early guy. I’m sorry it had to be so twisted, but at least you got off relatively easy. I hope she ends up in the gutter. I’ve had it with nice guys being punished for being decent people. ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/26 "2001-11-06T04:28:20Z")
Just thought I’d toss this tidbit in: The two-timing slut has three kids. An 18 mo old son, a 4 yr old girl, and a 9 yr old girl. ☹ I hate to think how they are going to turn out. ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/27 "2001-11-06T18:21:01Z")
She emailed me today. I had blocked her from IM"s but not email. I think it’s time to block that too. Here’s what she wrote: > [@](#): > > Alan, I know that you probably hate me and I don’t > blame you for feeling that way. I just want you to > know that I am very sorry, I never meant to hurt you. > Becky Apology NOT accepted. If you were _serious_ about not wanting to hurt me, and truly cared, you wouldn’t done what you did to begin with. Pathetic, lying, groveling, slut that you are. ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/28 "2001-11-07T04:57:09Z")
Of course, you could always send her this thread, but that would be tooooo cruel. I had these “you’re too nice” conversations before, MSK, but I can assure you those qualities will be appreciated. I’ve been married for nearly 8 years and we’re in it for the long haul. It’s been a great life, and I wouldn’t have thought it possible judging from some of the ruts I had been in. Keep punchin’, mate. Yeah, it sucks and it hurts now, but it’ll get better. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/29 "2001-11-07T08:57:34Z")
Um, how long have you been with this woman? It seems like it was only a couple of weeks ago you were posting about your inability to meet women in bars. Have you ever met this woman in person? ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/30 "2001-11-07T18:19:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Badtz Maru \* > \*\*Um, how long have you been with this woman? It seems like it was only a couple of weeks ago you were posting about your inability to meet women in bars. > > Have you ever met this woman in person? \*\* Yes, I have met this woman in person, many times, and (tmi) slept with her many times as well. We had been seeing one another for about 6 weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/31 "2001-11-08T04:47:44Z")
I just found it a bit weird considering that less than a month ago you were saying you went to bars alone because you had absolutely nobody to go with, and it seemed to be implied that you were going there to meet women (this was in the [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=93183) asking about why women acted like lesbians at bars. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/32 "2001-11-08T06:52:41Z")
I have one of two responses, I’m not sure yet which is dominant: 1. You need to change the class of person you date; or 2. You need to work on your dialog writing skills. ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/33 "2001-11-08T15:17:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by obfusciatrist \* > \*\*I have one of two responses, I’m not sure yet which is dominant: > > 1. You need to change the class of person you date; or > > 2. You need to work on your dialog writing skills. \*\* 1. I agree. FWIW: I have tried a number of different sources of meeting people, this year: church and church singles group, personal ads online, chat rooms, and yes, bars. I do not have a good deal of success meeting quality people, regardless of the source. I met this last woman via online. 2. Would you clarify that, please? ---
**Author:** ![eirroc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f1d935/32.png) [@eirroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eirroc)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/34 "2001-11-08T20:59:02Z")
Ummm I have to say I had the exact same thoughts **Badtz Maru** , and am curious aswell. Normally I woulden’t reply to his posts (I have done inadvertently lately without realising it was him) I really must work on my observation skills :eek: but am posting here because I am curious as hell. ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656/35 "2001-11-09T02:40:48Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Badtz Maru_ > I just found it a bit weird considering that less than a month ago you were saying you went to bars alone because you had absolutely nobody to go with, and it seemed to be implied that you were going there to meet women (this was in the thread asking about why women acted like lesbians at bars. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by eirroc_ > Ummm I have to say I had the exact same thoughts Badtz Maru, and am curious aswell. Normally I woulden’t reply to his posts (I have done inadvertently lately without realising it was him) I really must work on my observation skills but am posting here because I am curious as hell. It’s not as confusing as it sounds. In late Sept. - early October, we had dated about 3 or 4 times, then she wasn’t sure she wanted to keep seeing me. She said she wanted some time and space and said I shouldn’t wait around for her, I was free to look around. She wasn’t sure what she wanted. Well, we kept in touch, but didn’t see one another, in person, for almost 2 weeks, then she decided she wanted to see me afterall. Then, as stated in my OP, she changed her mind again, and now we all know why ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thankyou-s-o-for-ripping-out-my-beating-heart-and-stomping-on-it/91656.md?page=1)