# That final squirt..damn **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 8, 1999, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297 "1999-12-08T19:52:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/1 "1999-12-08T19:52:00Z")
I promise to set my sights a little higher on the next post…however until then… Men don’t you just hate for that last little squirt of pee ( the one you thought wasn’t there) to go right down your pant leg? Do women have any problems remotely like this one? I try to be very patient with that last lil squirt…being good and waiting and waiting. Then just when I think everything is ok…and I have zipped up tucked in and checked myself out in the mirror and start for the door…there it is “squirt”…that final squirt of urine…getting my whitie tighties wet or dribbling down my pant leg. Then I am forced to go back to the bathroom and stand in front of the hand dryer with my pants down until it blows my whitie tighties dry…sorta. Although that warm air can start to feel pretty good. ( just don’t get caught standing there like that.) Am I becoming incontinent or do most men have this problem? Do women have this prob? ---
**Author:** ![Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diver)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/2 "1999-12-08T19:57:00Z")
You can shake it You can break it You can beat it on the wall But not until you put it in your pants will the last drop fall. (Old Texas truism) ---
**Author:** ![Timothy\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@Timothy\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Timothy_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/3 "1999-12-08T20:14:00Z")
I’ve heard that some men have trouble with the “Botley Proper” (the term Douglas Adams uses in “The Meaning of Liff” to describe the little spot on your pants from “insufficient waggling of the willy”), but it has only affected me when I’m in a hurry. Perhaps when we’re in school, we need to be taught the correct technique for shaking our member. Maybe they could show a film, using a sausage as a stunt double. Mind you, the original post suggested that the main problem is that there’s a “last squirt” lurking. I’ve never EVER had that problem. When I go, I go and I’ve gone. Nonetheless, I won’t claim that I am entirely bereft of urinary issues (if I may use that word). I find that I have to whiz before I go to bed or else I lie awake, wondering if I’ll have my sleep interrupted by a mid-night urge. (If I am awoken by a bladder alarm, I find it hard to get back to sleep afterwards.) * * * [Afraid to fly](http://users.aol.com/psoftinfo/info_ff.htm)? Hey, I’ve _been_ there! ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/4 "1999-12-08T20:30:00Z")
aha, you are not alone. 🙂 My wife teases me all the time about this: I go pee, and no matter how hard I try, there’s a little left. She sees a tiny wet spot on my undies and treats me like an errant puppy. The _average_ male has 12" of urethra from the bladder to the outside; women have only 2". So it’s harder for men to empty it all out. My solution: stuff a couplefew squares of TP in your shorts around your winkie after you’re done. It should absorb any leftover squirt. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/5 "1999-12-08T20:34:00Z")
There was an old SNL skit that with Ackroyd and Belushi that addressed this problem: it was like a maxi-pad for men, to help eliminate those embarressing “trouser trails”. Anyone remember that skit? ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/6 "1999-12-08T20:41:00Z")
\i can’t believe i just posted that on an open bulletin board. 8-\ ---
**Author:** ![Twin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@Twin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Twin)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/7 "1999-12-08T20:42:00Z")
No matter how much you wiggle and dance, The last three drops will go in your pants. That one always cracked me up. ---
**Author:** ![drollman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f04885/32.png) [@drollman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drollman)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/8 "1999-12-08T21:17:00Z")
The SNL skit was for “Peeny Pads” and it was hilarious. (Something funny on SNL? Must have been a few years ago!) But I must say, sometimes, it’s not just a little trickle or squirt when the main stream is over. I’m sure I’m not the only one to do up the pants and head for the door, only to turn around and head back to the urinal for an encore performance. Around the office, we call it: re-pee-ting. * * * With God as my witness, I thought turkey’s could fly. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/9 "1999-12-08T21:52:00Z")
Yeah, I remember that skit. “Don’t be embarrassed by penile drip.” Many years ago, when SNL was truly funny. Peace, mangeorge * * * Work like you don’t need the money… Love like you’ve never been hurt… Dance like nobody’s watching! …(Paraphrased) ---
**Author:** ![Keeves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f05b48/32.png) [@Keeves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeves)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/10 "1999-12-08T21:56:00Z")
The version I heard is little different than (from?) Twin’s: No matter how you shake and dance, The last few drops go down your pants. ---
**Author:** ![JoltSucker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@JoltSucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoltSucker)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/11 "1999-12-08T21:57:00Z")
I have that problem. Right now I’ve got a got a folded up paper towel (from the dispenser in the bathroom at work) between me and my damp undies. The first time I got undressed in front of my wife with the towel sticking out of the hatch, she raised an eyebrow, to say the least… ---
**Author:** ![Yarster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/7c8e57/32.png) [@Yarster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yarster)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/12 "1999-12-08T22:03:00Z")
Until I started dating, I was a tighty-whitie wearer myself. And while I still prefer briefs to boxers, I only noticed this problem when I started buying the colored underwear women seem to prefer. Still, it’s just a drop, and not what I’d call a sqirt. The last time I ‘squirted’ the old underwear was when my ‘friend’ came up from behind and shook the hell out of me while I was pissing making me lose my grip with the expected consequences. ---
**Author:** ![Sparticuz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Sparticuz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparticuz)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/13 "1999-12-08T22:13:00Z")
I too had the same problem. At the risk of sounding gross, I noticed i was actually holding my whole “package” up while I tinkled and then when I put it all back in my pants, the river flowed. I solved the problem by letting go of the whole deal after I finished and it would just drain out. That was a terrible description of how my method works but think of it as a siphon and your tube needs to be lower than the gas tank or it won’t flow out completely. I am so ashamed that I just said all this. * * * “Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions” -Oliver Holmes ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Gretchen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Miss\_Gretchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Gretchen)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/14 "1999-12-08T22:46:00Z")
I have never been so happy to be a girl. I had no idea you guys had this, um, problem. ---
**Author:** ![Cyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@Cyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyan)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/15 "1999-12-08T23:45:00Z")
I’m glad I have one of those short urethras too! I may not be able to write my name in the snow, but I’m not pissing my panties, either! I love cocks, but I don’t think I’d like to have one. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/16 "1999-12-08T23:48:00Z")
Well well nothing like women sneaking in the men’s locker room, tsk. I surf in very very cold water. What this causes after a few hours of cold cold cold water is a penis that is, well, tight. This causes a constricting of the vascular system there, which makes peeing something of an effort. This means ones has to stand there for quite some time before being able to work thru that constriction. Anyway, I think likewise that cold weather can cause the same constriction, so pee spills later. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/17 "1999-12-08T23:48:00Z")
## aha, he’s off the pot and on a roll! “That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler ---
**Author:** ![Diamond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@Diamond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diamond)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/18 "1999-12-09T17:15:00Z")
Handy, maybe Cyan could help you. It’s a minor problem compared to female plumbing angst! I know, I have a wife and 3 daughters; even the pets are female! I do, however, get to lock the bathroom door! I take my victories where I find them. OK, guys, here’s my 99% effective solution: At flow termination, grasp penis at base and pull toward tip while squeezing gently, then one last shake. this works. Oh, and wash your hands afterwards, you filthy bugger! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/19 "1999-12-09T17:26:00Z")
## I’ll second Diamond. That’s EXACTLY what I always do. Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Cyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@Cyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyan)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297/20 "1999-12-09T22:33:00Z")
Sorry Diamond but i’d be afraid that Handy’s cold water dips have left him, um, ‘deficient.’ If I’m going to handle man-meat I want to at least be able to use both hands. Cyan [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-final-squirt-damn/5297.md?page=2)