# That good cop, bad cop routine... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 4, 2009, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445 "2009-02-04T17:56:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/21 "2009-02-04T23:29:03Z")
> [@Santo\_Rugger](#): > > Sweet, how does that one work?! > > _takes notes_ Not as well as Good Cop, Ventriloquist Cop, that’s for sure. ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2009, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/22 "2009-02-04T23:52:30Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > But they’ve tried _everything_ and they are _at their wit’s end_!!! Their wits do seem to end rather quickly. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/23 "2009-02-05T00:01:50Z")
How weird. Did they have a swine handy for the demon to go into instead of the boy? ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/24 "2009-02-05T00:06:00Z")
Sneak a speaker where they can hear it but not see it. Use a wireless transmitter to start answering them the next time. “I will NOT leave! Not until lunch, and I want Tuna on rye!!” “I cannot leave now, I’m taking a shit in your kid’s head” "I’ll leave when you can spell “maleficent” Just try to not giggle unless you follow it up with a “bwa-ha-ha-ha” ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/25 "2009-02-05T00:11:29Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Serious question for anyone who might know… can Child Protective Services act on something like an exorcism for endangering the child’s well being? They can always claim “Entertainment Purposes Only” and then how is it different from going to Disney? ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/26 "2009-02-05T00:12:30Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > Sneak a speaker where they can hear it but not see it. Use a wireless transmitter to start answering them the next time. > > “I will NOT leave! Not until lunch, and I want Tuna on rye!!” > > “I cannot leave now, I’m taking a shit in your kid’s head” > > "I’ll leave when you can spell “maleficent” > Just try to not giggle unless you follow it up with a “bwa-ha-ha-ha” He can also install sprinklers aimed into the neighbors yard that randomly spew split-pea soup. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/27 "2009-02-05T00:12:38Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > Wrong lawn. On their lawn they can sue me for property damage. On mine I can sue them for … demoniacal possession of vegetation? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/28 "2009-02-05T00:23:59Z")
> [@Sapo](#): > > If I were a demon (hold it, clowns), it would not have worked on me. I was very impressed by the whole thing. Very well done. Not the stuff you run away from. > > For the first 20 minutes, at least. > > After an hour, I was sick and tired of it. **Exactly!** Can you think of a better way to get rid of a demon? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/29 "2009-02-05T00:27:20Z")
Presumably if the kid gets sick, they’ll pray to God to heal him rather than use medical professionals. :rolleyes::smack: ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/30 "2009-02-05T00:32:08Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > **Exactly!** Can you think of a better way to get rid of a demon? 😉 Sure did the trick with Noriega. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/31 "2009-02-05T00:39:04Z")
I was at an exorcism once and ended up burning a hole in the tablecloth out of boredom. Yeah, boredom. I think the trick is to go to a Catholic exorcism with an actual Catholic exorcist. Those always look exciting in the movies. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/32 "2009-02-05T00:43:33Z")
[SCENE - INTERIOR - INTERROGATION ROOM] SATAN - You ain’t got nothin’ on me. GOD slams fist onto the table making both SATAN and JESUS jump. GOD - We’ve got enough. We know all about your sub-prime mortgages. Not to mention American Idol. JESUS - That was clever of you putting idolatry right in the title. A clever gag. It made me laugh. GOD glares at JESUS before continuing. GOD - Giving that kid autism crossed the line! SATAN - I don’t know nothin’ about autism. Isn’t that caused by immunizations or something like that? GOD - Are you trying to be funny? JESUS - Calm down, God. I hear you’ve got a kid of your own, Satan. SATAN - Uh huh. JESUS - You’ve got seven mouths to feed and how would you feel if someone had given him some autism? SATAN - I never touch the stuff. GOD - Maybe you should leave, Jesus. Do we keep the boils next to the locusts still? SATAN - He can’t do that! This is A.D., not B.C.! JESUS - He’s been around a long time and sometimes feels like going back to them. Just be happy you’re not a married gay couple with an adopted kid. GOD - He’s gay? I bet he’ll enjoy the rubber hose then! SATAN - I’m not gay! I corrupted fifteen virgins just yesterday! GOD - Boys or girls? JESUS - Stop it, God! Why don’t you go get some coffee and I’ll stay here and talk to Satan about his confession. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/33 "2009-02-05T01:03:15Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Serious question for anyone who might know… can Child Protective Services act on something like an exorcism for endangering the child’s well being? Hardly necessary; just knock on the door with a little basket of fruit and ask to help. Or call the police and report noise ordinance violations. Or, oh this one is good, call the local tabloid and report an exorcism that you think is actually _working!_ Wait a minute … > [@](#): > > … we all keep our windows open. Why would even someone nutty enough to conduct a private exorcism (even I know that pretty much defines “bad idea”), _do so with the windows open?_ > [@](#): > > … one says “Away, Satan, by the power of Jesus” and stuff like that in that soothing **monotone low voice** while the other says **the exact same thing** in unison screaming like a maniac. Could the local school play this year possibly be The Exorcist? Could a loving parent have been helping a child rehearse for an audition? (It makes more sense than a private exorcism.) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/34 "2009-02-05T01:06:04Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > I was at an exorcism once and ended up burning a hole in the tablecloth out of boredom. Yeah, boredom. > > I think the trick is to go to a Catholic exorcism with an actual Catholic exorcist. Those always look exciting in the movies. That’s because, in the movies, the Devil fights back ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/35 "2009-02-05T01:06:54Z")
j666, you now have me all confused with this talk about “private exorcisms”. Are you somehow saying that you are all cool about public exorcisms? That the problem with all this is that they are going private with theirs? I am new to all this. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/36 "2009-02-05T04:37:07Z")
> [@](#): > > She is a fucking psychologist! The one that treats him! She married dad after he met him treating his son. In her defense, she only tried an exorcism because her e-meter was broken. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/37 "2009-02-05T05:04:44Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > I think the trick is to go to a Catholic exorcism with an actual Catholic exorcist. Those always look exciting in the movies. Saw an exorcism on 20:20 many years back. The Baptist (or whatever–they’re all the same to me) preacher was using the same ceremony used in _The Exorcist!_ It was like demons only speak Latin. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/38 "2009-02-05T07:21:19Z")
This is… real? And you didn’t call the cops? ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/39 "2009-02-05T09:00:27Z")
**JSG** , that was awesome! ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445/40 "2009-02-05T10:56:24Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > This is… real? And you didn’t call the cops? Real? very much so (with no added details, except the weed killer part). What exactly would I tell the cops? That a demon is being illegally evicted without 30 days notice? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-good-cop-bad-cop-routine/484445.md?page=3)