# That is IT, fetch me a trebuchet! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 16, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876 "2003-09-16T02:47:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![KeithT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@KeithT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KeithT)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/21 "2003-09-16T13:46:46Z")
Ah, they’re 1320’s style “Death Rays”. [sub]\*\* prepares to be flung over the wall in short order \*\*[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/22 "2003-09-16T13:48:58Z")
I have a couple of coworkers I’m willing to offer up as sacrificial ammunition. They’re pretty much dead weight anyway, and I’m sure they’d make a lovely splat upon impact. In fact, their entire trajectory will fill the air with such language as you’ve likely never heard. Pardon me as I slip into a pleasant reverie here… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/23 "2003-09-16T13:49:26Z")
Quoting **Mtgman** ’s link – “a large teeter-tooter”… I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get involved with medieval weaponry, being a pacifist and all – but if it’s actually just a large teeter-tooter, well, hell, I’m in. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/24 "2003-09-16T13:54:22Z")
**KeithT** , just for that we’re going to have to punish you by catapault. ---
**Author:** ![Oak\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Oak\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oak_Man)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/25 "2003-09-16T14:47:44Z")
How’s this? It’d be good for teeny tiny castles. [http://www.backyardartillery.com/watch/](http://www.backyardartillery.com/watch/) ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/26 "2003-09-16T15:04:55Z")
Oh, damn. I’m not a wench. Am I going to be laid waste to shortly? Should I dress up for the occasion, or do you think it’s unnecessary. I’ve never been laid waste to before. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/27 "2003-09-16T15:19:43Z")
All you no-good youngsters! No character! No GRIT! The first d@mned thing ya’ll do is reach for a trebuchet! Why in _my day_ we laid siege to a fortress—AND WE WERE GRATEFUL! Or, we sent in sappers to mine beneath the castle walls—AND THEY WALKED TEN MILES THROUGH THE SNOW, UPHILL, TO DO IT! **BOTH WAYS!** Young whippersnappers! No respect for tradition! ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/28 "2003-09-16T15:20:52Z")
I am willing to help but only if we are allowed to fling people. Like telemarketers. Or my mother-in-law. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianVampyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@CanadianVampyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianVampyr)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/29 "2003-09-16T15:21:58Z")
I can get you one, though you’ll need to put it back together, it was dismantled. And its only 7 ft tall. Maybe not as destructive as you may have wished for, but still capable of hurling things at walls quite satisfactorily. The sad thing is, I’m completly serious ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/30 "2003-09-16T15:25:22Z")
Canadian, that would rock my sheep. and 7 feet tall is big enough to fling Keith. I mean, really, can we shut the fuck up about those goddamn death rays already? It has lost what little humor it had in the first place. Mmm… wenches. Wenches, whiskey, weapons. It’s a trinity. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/31 "2003-09-16T15:27:02Z")
And actually, in regards to noises made when flung against walls, I’d be satisfied with something resembling “thud spa-tank”. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/32 "2003-09-16T15:54:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > only if you promise to be brave when you are smashed to itty bitty tibbily bits against the walls of the fortresses of my enemies, therefore ensuring our victory if only because they’ll have to spend a terrible amount on cleaning supplies afterwards. “Bugger me! 'E cleared it!” (One of the few decent lines from that movie. Obviously not one of Costner’s) I’m not a wench, so I guess I won’t be fetching the trebuchet–maybe I can provide the earth-shattering kabooms? I’m quite good at making that new-fangled Fire Drug. Or we could just fling the severed heads of our various enemies. ---
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/33 "2003-09-16T16:04:07Z")
how about a wedding cake trebuchet? (see the david blaine thread in the pit) ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/34 "2003-09-16T16:22:50Z")
Or for a hand held weapon, have you considered a modified crossbow that fires herring? We may need to consider reinforcing the herring with a bolt up the arse, so that what we are in fact firing is a herring-clad crossbow bolt. Perhaps the trebuchet could be loaded with a whole tuna. They’re 2 metres long and hefty - ought to make some kind of slapping noise against a wall. Is the whiskey a definite, andygirl? You’re not just trying to tempt me with fickle promises of whiskey into providing splatty projectiles for your own personal ballistics party? ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/35 "2003-09-16T16:47:09Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by if6was9 \* > \*\*Second thought first… Yes! Whiskey! Lot’s of whiskey! Preferably Mr. Daniel’s fine mash!_! \*\* The lady said _Whiskey_. Whisk(e)y comes from Ireland, Scotland and _nowhere else._ Now, then, once we get the spirits squared away and have appropriate seige engines arrayed, do y’think you’ll be needing any claymores for good old hand-to-hand smiting? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/36 "2003-09-16T17:59:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > \*\*I have decided that laying siege … is my only possible option. > > \*\* Sorry, **andygirl** , but AFAIK **Siege** is straight. She is, however, active in SCA! ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/37 "2003-09-16T18:15:34Z")
Forget the pianos, the spinnets, etc… Think of the noise that would befoul the air if it was loaded with, say, a couple of accordians. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/38 "2003-09-16T18:28:02Z")
Giant church bells. Fucking BONG! ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/39 "2003-09-16T18:30:48Z")
Can’t we just hurl Howard Stern or Rush Limbaugh and call it even? ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876/40 "2003-09-16T18:38:04Z")
What is that giant whooshing sound? Enjoy, Steven [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-fetch-me-a-trebuchet/201876.md?page=3)