# That is it! You are Officially a Moron!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [November 29, 2002, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428 "2002-11-29T01:48:40Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/1 "2002-11-29T01:48:40Z")
Temp guy at work has been here for two weeks now. He’s pretty clueless about modern office equipment not knowing his mouse from his keyboard from his telephone. But I wrote down some simple instructions for him and thought he would be okay.
Every morning and after his lunch break he would come in and ask me “Where has my screen gone” and I would explain “your computer goes to sleep while you are away for long periods of time, just click on the mouse to wake it up”. He finally got that sussed yesterday and hasn’t asked about it all day “Yay”.
I was coping with the stupid questions and even starting to feel guilty because I was getting snippy at temp guy when he asked yet another dumb question.
But I have reached my limit, I can take no more, You Sir Are a Moron.
Scenario – temp guy is given a key to the front door last week so he doesn’t need to ring the doorbell every day to get in. I write on the envelope “Front Door Key”.
Still temp guy rings the doorbell, I discuss this with him, explain that key opens front door and if he remembers to take the key when he goes out, he can then use it to open the front door on his return.
TWO WEEKS LATER and he is still ringing the doorbell every freaking time he goes out!
This morning I took him downstairs with the key, I showed him how to put the key in the lock and how when you turn the key the door opens!! “oh is that what it does” is his only comment.
Well WTF did you think the key to the front door did? you motherfucking idiot!
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### Author:  [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/2 "2002-11-29T01:53:11Z")
Maybe you should start at the very beginning. “A” is for “apple”…
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### Author:  [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/3 "2002-11-29T02:04:54Z")
**B** is for Bloody! a state the gentlemans nose will be in if he does not show a firm grasp of this concept\* in the near future.
- this concept being front door keys and their usage.
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### Author:  [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/4 "2002-11-29T02:08:05Z")
Damn, them Aussies **are** bright, aren’t they?
😃
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### Author:  [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/5 "2002-11-29T02:14:00Z")
**happyheathen** I’m an Aussie too and not only can I open the front door I am now skilled enough to attempt training a second person in door opening techniques.
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### Author:  [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/6 "2002-11-29T02:15:07Z")
When sober, they are quite clever. Or, at least, so I’ve heard.
And, **leechbabe** you might consider being nice to this fellow. If my experience is any indication, he is clearly management material.
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### Author:  [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/7 "2002-11-29T02:15:58Z")
Why do you _want_ this guy to be able to open the door and come back in? Wouldn’t it be better for you if he stayed outside until he forgot to breathe?
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### Author:  [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/8 "2002-11-29T02:30:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by elucidator \*
> \*\*When sober, they are quite clever. Or, at least, so I’ve heard.
> \*\*
How can you tell the difference? All the ones I’ve met walk straight, so I assumed they were sober. Maybe they are just naturally drunk, but don’t show it?
That might explain it…
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### Author:  [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/9 "2002-11-29T02:33:22Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Steve Wright \*
> \*\*Why do you _want_ this guy to be able to open the door and come back in? Wouldn’t it be better for you if he stayed outside until he forgot to breathe? \*\*
I would consider leaving him outside but he’s a good mate of the boss who would notice if he went missing.
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### Author:  [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/10 "2002-11-29T02:50:33Z")
I dunno, **leechbabe**. Notice it’s you The Dumb Guy asks questions of, not the boss? 🙂 Did the boss stick him with you on purpose, or is it just your charm that attracts nitwits?
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### Author:  [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/11 "2002-11-29T03:25:04Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by dantheman \*
> \*\*I dunno, **leechbabe**. Notice it’s you The Dumb Guy asks questions of, not the boss? 🙂 Did the boss stick him with you on purpose, or is it just your charm that attracts nitwits? \*\*
My boss hasn’t been here most of the week so I’m the only person here to ask questions of.
Temp Guy’s been getting all stressed out because for some reason today he keeps managing to eject the CD Rom. The first time he did it I swear he thought the computer was going to blow up. Maybe I should tell him he’s broken the cup holder and he’d better ring the tech guy 🙂
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### Author:  [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/12 "2002-11-29T03:30:56Z")
**C** is for “_Cretin_, a simple-minded fool” and “_Could_ you _please_ bring your brain to work instead of leaving it in that jar beside your bed???”
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### Author:  [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/13 "2002-11-29T06:11:30Z")
**D** is for
Dimwit
Dropkick
Dumbnut
Drongo
Duffer
Doofus
DamntherearealotofwordsforidiotstartingwithD
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### Author:  [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/14 "2002-11-29T08:53:23Z")
He doesn’t know what _ **keys** _ are?! This is the first time I’ve used this (I think) but :eek: !
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/15 "2002-11-29T10:23:34Z")
In the words of New York’s bravest, holy shit.
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### Author:  [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/16 "2002-11-29T13:54:31Z")
Waitaminnit.
How the heck does this guy find his way to work in the first place?
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### Author:  [@Stephi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephi)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/17 "2002-11-29T14:30:22Z")
You could just disable the doorbell whenever he goes out. Then you could say that you didn’t hear it. I see all sorts of fun in sending him downstairs to “test” the doorbell!
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### Author:  [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/18 "2002-11-29T16:38:27Z")
E is for eat, and it is a wonder that he has not yet starved to death.
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### Author:  [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/19 "2002-11-29T16:51:20Z")
**F** is for “Fathead”, “Frontal lobotomy”, and “For fuck’s sake! Figure the friggin’ thing out already, you freak.”
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### Author:  [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/20 "2002-11-29T17:04:13Z")
**G** is for Good Grief. Tell your boss that his mate is too dense to use a key, a phone, and a computer, and that next time he has gambling debts he should just pay them off.
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