# That is it! You are Officially a Moron! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 29, 2002, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428 "2002-11-29T01:48:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/41 "2002-12-01T00:36:11Z")
X is for Xerox, a machine the operation of which he will never know. [sub]Unless of course he prays to the Greek God of Photocopying, **Xeroxes** šŸ˜ƒ [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/42 "2002-12-01T00:39:12Z")
Good on ya **Johnny**. I was wondering how X would be dealt with in this thread. Ahhhhā€¦the creativity of Dopers never ceases to astound me. šŸ˜ƒ **Y** is for YARRGGHHHHHHHH. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/43 "2002-12-01T00:58:50Z")
Aw, shucks! :o Okay, Iā€™ll finish off _A to Z in the Moron Alphabet_. Z is for zero, the first digit of his IQ. [sub]Which reminds me of somthing I say sometimes: ā€œDumber than that, and they die.ā€ Seriously, he doesnā€™t know how to use a clearly-labeled front door key in the front door lock? **Z** owie![/sub] If you want to have fun with him, how about sending him off to find some red-and-white striped paint or a left-handed hammer? Maybe a [tin of dehydrated water](http://pw1.netcom.com/~heliboy/dehydrated_water.jpg)? šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/44 "2002-12-01T01:22:32Z")
The next time he asks something that is in the notes you gave him, just tell him to refer to the notes. If he comes to you again for further information, ask him what the notes said to do. Make him read it aloud to you if you have to. Judging from your needing to explain how to wake a sleeping computer, I would say that you are truly starting from scratch. You were there once yourself. Nevermind that you were probably two years old at the time. (Still shaking my head about this oneā€¦) ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/45 "2002-12-01T02:18:15Z")
**Johnny** , yours didnā€™t make any sense! If he has an IQ of 80, then the first digit is 8. If he has an IQ of 0, then the first, last, and only digit is zero. What were you trying to say? Also, you took _three_ letters, and as far as I can see everyone else only took one. Moron alphabet thread hog! Donā€™t worry - Iā€™m not actually getting worked up over this. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/46 "2002-12-01T02:19:29Z")
Iā€™m just ashamed to admit that I live in the same city as this moronic, cretinous, dimwitted, fatheaded, grievous, goofballish, hellish, idiotic, jellybrained, kick-headable, moronic (again, just for fun :D), nitwitted, oafish, shit-fer-brained, vapid, whackable, xerox-challenged dumbfuck. (The last one was mine 'cos I couldnā€™t include the ā€˜zā€™ category submissionā€¦sorry **Johnny**. Apologies too, to anya marie, osakadave, Tuckerfan, This Years Model, Pablito, and blink178. Have fun **Leechbabe** ā€¦tomorrowā€™s Monday and you get to do Remedial Office Skills with this guy aaaaaaaaall over againā€¦bwhahahhhahahahhaahaaaaaa. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/47 "2002-12-01T02:48:20Z")
> [@](#): > > **Johnny** , yours didnā€™t make any sense! If he has an IQ of 80, then the first digit is 8. If he has an IQ of 0, then the first, last, and only digit is zero. What were you trying to say? Sorry. Iā€™m a pilot, and we use three digits to indicate direction. ā€œZero-three-zeroā€ or ā€œtwo-seven-zeroā€, for example. I also work with numeric fields at my (sadly, non-flying) job, so Iā€™m used to seeing leading zeros. Iā€™m afraid I assumed that people, who I think tend to have three-digit IQs, would know that an IQ under 100 would have a leading zero. e.g., 073 or 085. My mistake. Sorry about snagging the letters. I couldnā€™t resist. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/48 "2002-12-01T03:27:09Z")
Iā€™m not sure that sounds like what I what Iā€™m saying. Iā€™m not saying that ā€œif you couldnā€™t figure out that the leading zero is what Iā€™m referring to, then you must have an IQ of under 100ā€. Iā€™m just saying that it didnā€™t occur to me that people wouldnā€™t ā€œseeā€ the leading zero. Did that come out right? Let me try this: Iā€™m not trying to slam anybody. [sub]Whew! Itā€™s been a long day.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/49 "2002-12-01T03:46:16Z")
Yeah, I got it. I figured you were trying to add a zero to the front of a two-digit number, but it didnā€™t make any sense to me. Hey, wait a second - I reread it, and it sounds like you were insulting me! Well, I think itā€™s just that _youā€™re_ used to seeing two-digit IQā€™s with a zero in front because thatā€™s how you write yours! Take that! šŸ˜ƒ Anyway, hereā€™s a new submission for Z: **Z** is for ā€œZip it, you fucking moron!ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/50 "2002-12-01T08:06:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \* > **Let me try this: Iā€™m not trying to slam anybody.** You arenā€™t? Whyā€™d you call him vapid then? ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/51 "2002-12-01T14:27:18Z")
Well, anybody but the moron . . . šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/52 "2002-12-02T00:03:42Z")
10.55am Monday the 2nd of December From the desk of **leechbabe** , CIA, Melbourne, Victoria. He used the key to open the door!!! Woo Hoo, Iā€™m so happy šŸ™‚ Of course then he had issues with computer ā€œwhereā€™s my screen gone?ā€, seems he can only cope with one new concept a day. Although I had hoped to have that one down pat by now. Luckily for me today is his last day of using the computer. From tomorrow he gets to fold paper and put it in envelopes. A task that he should be capable of. Thank you to all the dopers who contributed to the A-Z moron alphabet šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/53 "2002-12-02T00:16:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leechbabe \* > Luckily for me today is his last day of using the computer. From tomorrow he gets to fold paper and put it in envelopes. A task that he should be capable of. With any luck, heā€™ll get enough glue on his tongue and lips to render him incapable of speech for at least a day. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/54 "2002-12-02T00:23:32Z")
Yeah, because you know heā€™ll never figure out what that little wet bit of sponge is for. ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/55 "2002-12-02T01:31:09Z")
No licking involved sadly. The envelopes are the press seal kind and we have a machine that stamps the postage on. Still he might paper cut himself to death šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/56 "2002-12-02T01:42:52Z")
Ah, but **that** could happen to anyone! Then again, after the first couple, most of us would quit playing with the paperā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Devil\_s\_Advocate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Devil\_s\_Advocate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Devil_s_Advocate)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/57 "2002-12-02T02:00:25Z")
Wow. Shouldnā€™t this guy be in a special home or something? He sounds like the Gammas (I think) in _A Brave New World_. I wonder how he gets to work. I certainly hope he doesnā€™t have a driverā€™s licence. Still, he may be useful in performing repetitive tasks that people with properly functioning brains would find boring. (What exactly is this guyā€™s job description?) ā€œI need a staple removed. Someone toss me that intern!ā€ - ā€œDilbertā€ by Scott Adams ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/58 "2002-12-02T03:44:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Devilā€™s Advocate \* > \*\*Still, he may be useful in performing repetitive tasks that people with properly functioning brains would find boring. (What exactly is this guyā€™s job description?) > \*\* To start with my boss hired Mr. Moron to update our database. After 2 days of intensive training the guy was able to look up addresses in the database and call people to confirm their details were still correct. I honestly never thought this was a job somebody would find difficult. But it seems I was wrong. Thankfully my boss has realised his friendā€™s limited abilities and has given him new work to do from tomorrow onwards. Yes he does drive a car to work, but mainly because he found the public transport system to be confusing. :rolleyes: I have decided to not write a complaint to my boss about this because it seems Mr. Moron is so broke he canā€™t afford basics (i.e. food). So my boss is just doing the right thing helping out a friend with some employment in a time of need. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Harmonix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonix)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/59 "2002-12-02T04:15:53Z")
> [@](#): > > From the desk of leechbabe, CIA, Melbourne, Victoria. You work for the CIA? Christ I hope vapid fools like Mr. Moron donā€™t infiltrate your organization more then they already have. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428/60 "2002-12-02T05:08:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. > \*\* > > Why donā€™t you send him to Aukland? With any luck heā€™ll get on the wrong plane and wind up in Oakland (California), a nice long way away from you. > > \*\* a) itā€™s AuCklandā€¦and it only sounds like Oakland when Yanks say it šŸ™‚ to us natives it sounds much more like where Mork came fromā€¦Orkland. b) Aussies could benefit with a bit of time spent in the down under thats under down under. We might be very good at loosing major sporting eventsā€¦but we know how to use keys. šŸ˜‰ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-is-it-you-are-officially-a-moron/139428.md?page=4)