# That Just Plane Stinks **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 5, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960 "2006-12-05T18:23:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/1 "2006-12-05T18:23:14Z")
[A woman’s faux pas causes inconvenience for fellow travelers.](http://www.turnto10.com/travelgetaways/10466832/detail.html) And endless giggles for me! Be sure to take the survey. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/2 "2006-12-05T18:37:42Z")
Up next: Nashville Woman sues Taco Bell for giving her flight-grounding gas. Me, I’d admit it. I mean, if I denied it I’d have to come up with some other legitimate reason for lighting the matches, and I can’t really think of any that come off as a _better_ excuse and a whole lot that are worse. What this woman needs is to master the Ninja Stealth Fart. By the time it surfaces and strikes, it can easily be pinned on someone else. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/3 "2006-12-05T18:39:02Z")
I am sick of these motherfuckin’ farts on this motherfuckin’ plane! ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/4 "2006-12-05T19:15:28Z")
So, how did you vote? I voted that I would admit it. I was all set to say “Oh, no, I would never admit it” when I realized I didn’t want to go to a Federal Penitentiary. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/5 "2006-12-05T19:17:52Z")
In a house, one says “the dog did it!”. I suppose on a plane one should blame the snakes… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/6 "2006-12-05T19:50:09Z")
_Maam… we’re going to need to see your “pass port”._ ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/7 "2006-12-05T22:05:53Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Me, I’d admit it. I mean, if I denied it I’d have to come up with some other legitimate reason for lighting the matches, and I can’t really think of any that come off as a _better_ excuse and a whole lot that are worse. [/QUOTE] I read this before the link in the OP had finished opening, and got my hopes up for a woman trying to light her farts on an airplane. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/8 "2006-12-05T23:13:39Z")
[QUOTE=ultrafilter] I read this before the link in the OP had finished opening, and got my hopes up for a woman trying to light her farts on an airplane. Oh well. [/QUOTE] Well, I don’t know about ‘got my hopes up’, but I did think that was what the article was about before I read it based on that post also. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/9 "2006-12-06T00:14:59Z")
As absolutely stupid as that is (what were you thinking - “masking the smell” with the smell of SMOKE AND FLAMES was a better alternative?), the woman does come out of this with one advantage. It’s unlikely she’ll ever have an opportunity for a _more_ embarrassing moment in her lifetime, so she can only go uphill from here. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/10 "2006-12-06T00:39:34Z")
What’s the deal with matches anyway? I gather a lighter doesn’t have the same effect, so what is it? ---
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/11 "2006-12-06T00:47:02Z")
The sulfurous smell of burning match heads is stronger than the sulfurous smell of asshole burning farts. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/12 "2006-12-06T02:00:53Z")
I was disappointed. I thought it was going to say she was thrown off the plane just because she fouled the air with her farts. Now, THAT would be embarrassing! Could you imagine the conversation? Passenger #1 to Flight attendant: “I smell something…” FA: “Hmmm yes, I’ll see what I can do” P#2: “What is that smell?” FA: “I’m looking into it.” P#3: “Is there something wrong with the plane? Why does it smell so bad?” FA: “Excuse me ma’m, Did you… umm. Are you… Well, do you feel ok?” Fart Lady: “No, I’m… fine.”(blush) (brrsssst) “sorry” FA: “I’m going to have to ask you to move to the lavatory for the remainder of the flight. Otherwise, we’ll have to land and escort you off the plane.” ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/13 "2006-12-06T03:09:56Z")
I thought the TSA couldn’t get any more invasive than asking women to drink their breast milk. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/14 "2006-12-06T03:27:24Z")
Good thing my mom doesn’t fly anymore. She firmly believes in the “light a match” theory. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/15 "2006-12-06T03:35:30Z")
Isn’t lighting matches in a small space where you’ve just farted kind of dangerous, since farts CAN be flameable? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/16 "2006-12-06T03:45:15Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Isn’t lighting matches in a small space where you’ve just farted kind of dangerous, since farts CAN be flameable? [/QUOTE] Only in concentration – straight from the pipe, as it were. Once the methane has had the slightest chance to disperse there won’t be enough in the immediate vicinity of the flame to ignite. No guarantees about those downwind getting fired up, however. > [@Rilchiam](#): > > I thought the TSA couldn’t get any more invasive than asking women to drink their breast milk. This would only be similar if they gave her an in-flight Dutch Oven. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/17 "2006-12-06T13:33:04Z")
It would appear that in addition to a shoe bomber, we now have a poo bomber as well. That’d be kinda weird… departing a plane behind a woman with a massive scorch mark on her skirt. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/18 "2006-12-06T16:39:46Z")
Great, now they won’t allow safety matches anymore lest terrorists with flatulence try to take over planes by threatening to light their farts. But it could have been worse, at least she didn’t try to spray some nasty perfume to mask it. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/19 "2006-12-06T16:43:10Z")
You know, if I had a dollar for everytime I denied a stinky fart, I’d be …um…nothing :o . ANYway, my point is, she should have just played it cool. I just wish they would release her name and picture. ---
**Author:** ![InappropriateHumor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eb8c5e/32.png) [@InappropriateHumor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InappropriateHumor)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960/20 "2006-12-06T17:13:30Z")
I’d like to see a picture too. I’m hoping it was a little old blue-haired lady in her 70’s. It would be cool if she were wearing a little-old lady dress and crepe soled shoes. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/that-just-plane-stinks/382960.md?page=2)